My Super-Stupid 16

I'm sure you have seen "My Super Sweet Sixteen" on MTV. It's a serious travesty. Here's the plotline in case you've never seen one:

An unbelievably spoiled child, about to turn 16, throws what they each deem "the party of a lifetime." They enlist a dress/shoe maker to do a custom dress/shoe, which they will inevitably hate and cry about. They will pick an over-the-top venue where security is lax, and lots of crashers get in. They cook up a lame way to invite people, while making sure they hurt the feelings of all the "losers" not invited. In some special cases, they make the people "work" for the invites before inevitably telling them no.

Then they scheme up a "grand" entrance, where they A. Pop out of a box B. Roll up in a custom car C. Get carried in by scantily dressed members of the opposite sex or D. Arrive via helicopter. Next, they decide who will be part of the VIP club, taking special care to trash those not in said club.

They will cry, whine, make demands, and throw tantrums. Their parents will pick a special musical guest to play. This will be A. Ryan Cabrerra B. Pit Bull C. Ciara D. Some losers, and they will hate their parents forever. During the party, they will anger their VIP club members, break up with their boy/girlfriend, fight with their parents, and then be rewarded with a 100k Range Rover. What the hell???

My "Sweet Sixteen" involved my 5 best friends and a funfetti cake made by my mom. We ran around the house like maniacs, took dumb pictures, and we may have even snuck out and gotten into some silly shenanigans...and that's about it. If I had asked for a car, my parents would have kindly pointed to my bike and told me to hop on and start pedaling.

The Birthday Girl:

My Funfetti cake:

My tape player...yes, I'm that old:

My crazy BFF's:

Kissie's on the stairwell:

My Fitness Challenge

A few months ago, when I was working out and wasn't chubby, I decided to do a funny challenge. I would start with 15 wussy, girl-type push-ups and sit-ups, and add 5 repetitions each day. I'm trying to decide if the gradual increase will:

1. Work, because I'm slowly building up endurance, and I can easily handle 5 more a day

2. Not work, because I will max out at some horrible number, like 50, because it's just too hard, and the gradual increase was no match for a high number.

I'm kicking my little experiment into high gear again as part of my "de-chubbing"...see below for deets on that bit. I shall let you know if it's #1 or #2.

De-Chubbing

It seems I have been having a little too much fun this summer, with a little too much ice-cream and goodies. I am feeling a bit chubby these days...I suspect this is Karma for making fun of Dobbie, our resident Tubby McFatty. Or, it's just karma for eating too many sweets, and not working out enough. Likely a combo of both.

In any case, the Husbie, the Dobster and I will be combatting the tubbiness that is Team Jacobs of late. I grabbed some yummy, gluten-free meal replacement bars, which I will be eating with a ton of fruit and veggies @ lunch, followed by a sensible dinner. No more snackies until I shed a few L-B's. And I need to kick up my workout routine, too.

Wish me luck with my de-chubbing.

Veggin' Out

I love meat. A lot. I like fish, I like chicken, I like beef, and I kinda like pork...depends on the offering. Ham and bacon, yes; pork chops, meh. However, for a variety of reasons, I am going to go a little veggie...not full vegetarian, not even half or a quarter vegetarian..I just want to cut out some animal products, and incorporate more veggie dishes into my diet. I want to be healthier, and a little kinder to the Earth.

A lot of my gluten-free goodies are already vegetarian or vegan, so I feel like I have a good start. I am especially interested in trying more diverse dishes at home--Indian, Thai, etc. Lentils are delicious, cheap, and easy to whip up in the crockpot. I will let you know how my veggie adventures go!

Why So Serious??

Finally saw The Dark Knight last night with Tinger. When we arrived, they were nowhere to be found, so we joined the long, winding line around the building. It went a little like this:

Us Standing In The Long Line: Hey, where are you guys? We don't see you.

Tinger: We're inside.

Us Standing In The Long Line: Oh. We're waiting in line.

Tinger: What line??

Us Standing In The Long Line: The line for The Dark Knight.

Tinger: Um, that's for X-Files.

Us Standing In The Long Line....sheepishly leaving said line, annoyed we didn't notice how nerdy the line patrons were. If I had, I would certainly have been able to tell it was for X-Files. The people in camping chairs *should* have given it away.

Loved, loved, loved the movie. Nothing but great things to say about it. I was blown away by The Joker, and am very sad that Heath won't be able to reprise the role down the line.

The entire cast was outstanding, and Batman was a tasty dish.

It was dark, gritty, and grim...just the way I like my movies!!

I give it an A+!

Potato Jacket

Lancer was confused by my use of the word "jacket" as it relates to a potato in the last post. Who doesn't know that's what a potato skin becomes when it's baked?

Says Wiki: "A baked potato, also known as a jacket potato, is the edible result of baking a potato."

Then I realized that I was going to add "Potato Jacket" to my list of secret band names, for when I have a cool, new band. Lance's response to this?? "That sounds like a winner. I'm sure people in Idaho will really like it." Insert sarcasm here.

T-Boned

Husbie and I live on a street with a 2-way stop. This seems to confuse everyone *not* living on our street. As we approach and slow down to turn, the people at the stop signs gun it, assuming it's a 4-way stop, and we are slowing down to turn. We barely miss getting t-boned several times a week. We are also barraged with yelling, gesturing, and ill-mannered behavior of all sorts from the right-of-way thieves.

I decided enough was enough, and I emailed 'Mr. Roadshow' our local roads/traffic guy in the Bay Area. I explained our predicament, and asked how we could obtain a sign for the stop signs stating that cross-traffic doesn't need to stop. I awoke to this:

"I am looking into it"

Gary Richards

San Jose Mercury News

Direct line: (408) 920-5037

Roadshow line: (408) 920-5335

Sweet! The only t-bones I want to be subjected to are broiled medium-rare and nestled next to a spud in a spiffy brown jacket.

And I Feel, So Much Depends on the Weather

Cruising home this evening, I heard that Stone Temple Pilots would be playing a show in Berkeley on Friday. General Admission tix are up for grabs on Craigslist, and I am seriously tempted to go. I could have sworn they were playing more vintage STP on the radio lately--this is probably why. Core was one of my favorite grungey albums of the 90's, along with Ten, Nevermind, Siamese Dream, Pretty Hate Machine and Dirt.

I'm bumping AIC's Would right now, and am reminded how much I miss grunge. The music, the bad attitude, the chunky Docs, the tortured soul bit, the bad and greasy boys...not so much on the baggy jeans, flannel shirts, babydoll clothing, coffee boom, Courtney Love, and the bad and greasy boys. See, the bad and greasy boys were a mixed bag, especially the dark and brooding bad boy I always think of when I hear STP's Plush.

If I go, I'll let you know how the oh-so-post-grunge STP looks and sounds.

Team Lauren

I know The Hills is super-fake, super-stupid, and super-embarrassing...yet, I still love it. Season 4 is just around the corner, babies.

Brody goes to jail? She-Pratt steals Lauren's man? Whitney finds a gent?? Speidi continues to make us puke?? The first 3 are a surprise.

You know where I will be on August 18th. Let the countdown begin. Who's in for a little Hills Premiere Par-tay?? We'll be sure to serve Speidi Sandwiches and Justin Bobby Juice.

BLECH!!

So...I'm cruising up to Menlo Park this morning...going down Lawrence Expressway as usual. I look over and see this trashy lady with a sign on the corner--yeah...she got that part right. In any case, she was advertising for a strip club...better yet, she was advertising for their "Lunch Buffet" at the club...pizza and salad. Mmm...I can think of no other place to down highly hygienic offerings. Gag me with a freakin' spoon. Where do I sign up? Oh, right, at the strip club...located in another city.

Since when do I live in a 'hood that advertises skanks on the corner?? I wanted to pull over and tell her to get off my corner. However, I was afraid she would think I hooker, and make me hold her sign while she fixed her fishnets...and someone from church would undoubtedly drive by. Peeps who live in the same hood--what are your thoughts?? Totally unacceptable!!

Pioneer Day Picnic

Lance and I threw our 3rd Pioneer Day Picnic today. We held it @ Ponderosa Park in Sunnyvale, which is a great location because it's spacious and has plenty 'o' shade. We got there early, and had dogs and burgers hot and ready to go when the revelers arrived in the early afternoon.

Tubby McFatty came along as our party mascot, and he took his duties seriously. These duties included, but are not limited to, the following:

1. Stealing food.
2. Stealing drinks.
3. Looking really cute so people would assume he was a poor, starving stray dog, and toss tasty vittles his way.
4. Getting wrapped around trees and rocks.
5. Stealing more food.

Some pics below:

Thanks to Team Lunny for all of their help--especially with the water balloons! Woo-Hoo!

Tubby McFatty going in for the kill:

On the lookout for abandoned hamburgers:

The Atwoods brought their fun corn-toss game, which entertained the crowd, though I still maintain this is *not* an Iowan game.

Thank You For The Music

I headed up to SF later than planned last night due to a small debacle with the water jugs for today's party--long story. I barely made the fun event @ Sak's, but still managed to squeeze in a mini-makeover from Bobbi Brown. SF makes a truly amazing backdrop! I got some fun pics done, and then ran furiously through the streets of SF in 3 inch heels with my friend Sarah to catch Mamma Mia on opening night. That was the right crowd!

I'm kind of a MM/Abba freak. I saw MM in SF, London, and NY....Lance threatened to divorce me if I saw the play again. He was probably still a little mad that he was my forced date for the London show. He is comforted by his belief that I will watch this when it comes out on DVD in lieu of Grease, and he will cease to be subjected to "You're the one that I want!" ad nauseum. Methinks he will be disappointed, however: Abba is great, but Zuko rules all.

So...

Am I get older (and thus prone to soft-rock hits from yesterday and today) or is Coldplay sucking less? I seriously can't tell, but I'm LOVING all of their new stuff, and it's *so* not my style. I think I am going to blame Apple (corporation, not celeb offspring) and their blasted Ipod commercial. They were able to do what people have been trying to do for close to a decade...they tricked me into liking Coldplay. I curse you Steve Jobs!

Playin' Hooky

My truant husbie and I decided to play hooky from life last week, and continue our fun California adventures.

We slept in late, then rolled up to HMB for lunch with our friend Amy. We checked out the lawn and garden store, where we perused the huge Roman jugs before settling on one. The delivery fee was almost as much as the jug itself...so we got all cheapskate and shoved it in the backseat. That was an interesting ride.

Next, we high-tailed it to San Gregorio to hang out on the beach and go for a little hike. The spectacular views were worth the huffing and puffing:

We moved on to Pescadero, where we stopped off at a little farm to check out the ollaberries:

As we were driving, we found this little old cemetery, where most of the people had died in the 1800's. Lancer got some cool shots with the new cam for his photography class:

We took the long, scenic route home, and then stopped off @ Alice's Restaurant. We shared a ginormous plate of nachos, and then I splurged on a cool and creamy rootbeer float, while Lancer sprung for the blackberry pie. Mmm....

Once home, we rolled the ol' jug onto the patio where it belongs:

Go Grease Lightening

For the record:

Greasers:

Gorgeous Golden Boys:

No Matt Foley Here

When people read about our plans to buy a modified van (actually a "class b" motorhome...) and take road trips, I got some fairly strong responses, which makes me wonder if my friends and family secretly think I'm high maintenance. Per Foley, I don't want to *live* in a van down by the river. I just want a rolling home that makes traveling/camping/road-tripping/hanging-at- the-beach a little more convenient and cheap. Why does no one believe I would be excited about this?? Talk amongst yourselves.

No Contest

My nameless friend Hayley seems to think that Lame-o David Archa-Boring is a better draw than my boyfriend, Hot Donnie Wahlberg. She "recalled" the conversation on her blog, but it actually went more like this:

Hayley: I went to the Idols Concert, and it was sooooo fun!

Me: Was that a real statement?

Hayley: Yes! And it was waaaaay fun!

Me: Was that a real statement, too?

Hayley: Yes! You should have gone. It was suuuuper fun!

Me: Yeah, if I were 12, that would be fab. Note: I didn't actually say this, but I certainly thought it.

Look at the facts:

Donnie: Hot.

David Archa-Boring: Not.

Donnie: Quadrillion hit records.

David Archa-Boring: A few bad renditions of other people's songs.

Donnie: Sold out stadiums.

David Archa-Boring: Coming soon to a rest home near Hayley.

Donnie: Legend.

David Archa-Boring: Passing phase.

Here I Go Again On My Own....

As you may have noticed, I have been rockin' the BIG HAIR these last few weeks. This is a huge departure from my normally stringent straightening routine. There a few reasons for this.

1. It's summer, and I feel lazy.

2. It's summer, and the hair dryer is *really* hot.

3. I figure I can rock it now because summer is all about laid back, natural, and easy.

4. I'm spending a lot of time by or in the water, thus negating all of my hard hair work.

5. Lance thinks it's HOT. Really, really HOT.

I'm not sure why my big 80's hair turns men into blathering boys. I remember when I wore my normally straightened hair wild and curly into the office...all of the guys did triple-takes, and kind of giggled at me while their eyes got wide and crazy.

I can only guess it's because they associate the wild and unruly hair with wild and unruly behavior...thanks for nothing, Tawny Kitaen. Your 80's-hair-and-skanky-behavior ruined it for all us curly-haired gals.

I should note, however, that the other Benz goes back in 2 weeks. If Lance wants me to engage in some big-haired-Tawny-like-car-hood gymnastics requiring 2 hot vehicles...time is running out. Speak now, buddy, or forever hold your wife with boring, straight hair.