Music Wrap-Up for 2009

As the year starts winding down, I would like to do my annual Top 10 list of favorite songs from 2009. You can find last year's here.

Best Songs of 2009

1. Lady Gaga. Just Dance, Poker Face, Love Game, Paparazzi, Bad Romance...the list is endless. Truly the most talented and original singer in the last 10 years. The new Madonna. She's here to stay.

2. Kings of Leon. Sex on Fire, Use Somebody. Just behind Gaga in originality and creativity. Album is amazing--love the lead singer's voice.

3.The Black Eyed Peas. Boom Boom Pow. This was the jam that kept me up all night long in Vegas.

4. Britney Spears. 3/Circus. Killer dance songs. She continues to reign.

5. Cascada. Evacuate the Dance Floor. Another killer dance song. Look it up on Youtube if you don't know it.

6. Jamie Foxx/T. Pain. Blame it. This song is trashtastic, and I love it.

7. Kid Cudi. Day n Nite. The Crookers remix.

8. Kayne. Heartless. Kanye is Kanye. I'm embarrassed to have him on this list.

9. Muse. Uprising. A solid band with placement on last year's chart as well.

10. T-Swizz. Love Story/You Belong with Me. Funny, talented, cute, dated a Jo Bro. What's not to love?? PS. I should have put her above Kanye to teach him a lesson, but I'm lazy.

And here are the ten songs that made me want to drive off a cliff. If you need to interrogate me, play these songs in a room, and I'll start talking.

Worst Songs of 2009

1. Colbie Caillat. Fallin' For You. Blech.

2. Owl City. Fireflies. I do NOT want to hear about you dancing with and/or receiving affection from bugs. Ever.

3. Leona Lewis. Happy. Does not make me happy.

4. Jason Mraz/Colbie Caillat. Lucky. It's a holdover from 2008, but it ruined enough of my 2009 airtime, so it gets a nod. He is also responsible for "I'm Yours."

5. Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana. Party in the USA. Kill me now.

6. Beyonce. Sweet Dreams. The stations are really trying to push this one, but they should just throw in the towel. Single Ladies it's not.

7. Black Eyed Peas. I Gotta Feeling...that song sucks.

8. LMFAO. I'm from Miami. Then you should just stay there and stop torturing the rest of the US with your crappy song.

9. Rihanna. Russian Roulette. Love the voice, hate the song.

10. David Archuletta. Every single song, but the "Christmas Album" is by far the biggest offender.

Gimme yours if you're not totally offended. I know Archie has his little Mormon minions around this place.

Gobble-Gobble

This year we decided to have a nice, mellow Thanksgiving with just the two of us. Read: tasty food and optional showers, followed by copious amounts of junky TV, pie, and trips to the beach. Life is good!

On Tuesday night at 2:30 in the morning, our neighbor decided it would be a great idea to play the drums. My conversation with Lancer went a little like this:

Me: Lancer!! Our neighbors are playing the drums and it's 2:30 in the morning!
Lancer: Do you want some earplugs?
Me: NO!!! I WANT YOU TO PUT SOME PANTS ON AND GO MAKE OUR STUPID NEIGHBORS STOP PLAYING THE DRUMS AT 2:30 IN THE MORNING!!

Lancer is a good man. I'm very grateful to him for that, and a busload of other reasons too special to share with you. I love that man.

Kicked off Wednesday with a baking spree. I bought Lancer's Razzleberry pie, but I made my own gluten free chocolate french silk pie. It was so good, I currently have another one in the hopper ready to be bakes and filled. If you can't eat 2 pies at Thanksgiving, when can you?

I had the genius notion that my sink and disposal could handle a few yam peels. I was wrong. Now I know why people buy the canned stuff. Basically, I hit the disposal, and my sink vomited at me.

We called this clogged sink helpline (who even knew that existed???) They ask questions like "when you turn on the disposal, is there a whirlpool of food and scraps?" Um, yes, and then some. They told us to fill the left side with 4 inches of water and a metal pan. Then, add 4 inches of water to the right side, and plunge the crizzle out of it.

Amazingly, it worked! Did you know that Thanksgiving is one of the busiest days for plumbers? I do now.

After the hourlong delay, I got my candied pecan sweet potatoes cooking in the crockpot. Recipe here. They were easy and delicious!

And here are all of the goodies for my homemade, gluten-free cornbread stuffing. This has been the stuff of delicious leftover turkey lunches. It's stellar! It's loosely based on the recipe here.

This year, we smoked our turkey in our Big Green Egg. It looks like R2-D2 and produces a wonderful turkey with a light hint of smoke and flavor. It was delicious!

The whole spread

Here's our delicious finished bird, smoked to perfection!

Our delicious green salad with homemade dressing, blue cheese, and cranberries

My delicious (if I may say so myself) corn pudding. It's actually more like a corn souffle--super easy and definitely delicious. I'm a corn gal at heart. Recipe here.

And the aforementioned candied orange sweet potatoes with pecans and an orange reduction. Delish!

I finally got to use my Williams Sonoma turkey holder. I filled him with cranberry relish.

And we also got to use our fancy monogrammed napkins. I rarely bust these babies out, but it's fun for special dinners.

I also did a pomegranate Jell-O with pomegranate seeds. The Utah boy, a connoisseur of Jell-O and Jell-O related dishes, gave it two thumbs up. I trust his pallet--when it comes to Jell-O.

And the finished stuffing!

Lancer carving the bird with his fancy-schmancy Calphalon carving set--one of my Christmas gifts last year.

Dobbie is thankful for a wonderful mommy and daddy who made him a special plate with turkey and corn pudding.

And then the pies. Oh, the pies. Sheer gluttony.

The next few days were filled with fun movies about the destruction of the world. The special affects in 2012 were really cool. I loved watching California crack off and fall into the ocean.

We went up to HMB twice--once was rainy and windy, so we headed back up on Saturday to get a Christmas tree. Hayley had the same idea--she was pulling in as we were pulling out. Good idea, Atwood! We stopped into a nursery that has a hill full of trees you can cut down yourself. I was all excited about the idea, but quickly realized it was the Hill of Misfit Trees. They were all too short, too skinny, too sparse, etc. We mozied on to the next nursery, where we found our perfect little gem.

Here's the winner!

As we were heading to the counter, Lance spied a little 6 inch rosemary topiary, and asked if I wanted to get one--of course I did! He then asked "instead of our other tree?? Riiiiighhhtt. In what world is a 6 inch rosemary topiary a good candidate for a Christmas tree? I can imagine the 2 ornaments we could get on it right before it toppled over.

Taking home our hollitime goodies. You know, our tree, and then our 6 inch mini "tree"

After we got the greens on lock, we headed up the coast to Sam's Chowder House for some tasty lunch. Here's Lance pondering all of the possibilities for fun with his mini-tree.

We started out with the clam chowder (LJ) and the spinach salad with spiced walnuts and goat cheese for me.
For our entrees, Lancer got the tuna melt, and I got the roll-less lobster roll. Mine was good, but not great. I think something got lost in translation when I had to forgo the bread.

After lunch, we enjoyed the last few minutes of sun along the beach. It was a perfect California autumn day!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! We are so grateful for all that we have, and all that we enjoy. We are truly blessed to live here, and we're grateful for all of our friends and family.

So, You Come Here Often??

I was in the drive-thru at In-n-Out this afternoon. There was this nerdy, bespectacled guy in front of me, and I could see him looking at me in the rearview mirror. I ignored him. I'm certainly not looking for a secret boyfriend....right, Brooke??


As the line started to move, weirdo just sat there, occasionally glancing back at me. He left at least 1.5 car lengths between his car and the one in front of him.

I kinda scooted up--hint-hint, dude. He moved up a tiny bit, but still left a billion feet in front of him. I thought about honking, or sidling up to his bumper--but then I thought he might be a serial killer, and I didn't want to set Ted Bundy off. So I ignored him.

He moved up reluctantly but this weird dance continued on until he grabbed his burger and left.

As I was pulling out the light changed and I had to wait for 10-15 cars. No way I would see Ted again, right?? Wrong. Methinks he pulled over and waited for me. Wait-did I mention I look like crap, too? Oversized fleece and hair in a bun. Not hot.

As I 'm sitting at a light, I hear a honk. I look over, and Nerdman is holding up his frosty shake, giving me a knowing look and a smile--kinda "you like shakes, I like shakes, let's like shakes together." I was going to give him a rude face (and possibly a gesture) but then I realized the nerd's game was so bad he was trying to pick up chicks in the In-N-Out line. I wish there were a way to tell him I thought his "flirting" was the work of a serial killer, but I had no way to do so.

So I gave him a wan smile, flashed my ring, and drove off.

It's not you, it's me. And by that, I mean it's you.

Vamps, Wolves, Choppers & Mud Baths

Or, how I spent my weekend.

Kicked off the crazy on Thursday night with Twilight in the theatre with Sharla. She had never seen it on the big screen, so I joined her. I'm not one to turn down Junior Mints and a 20 foot Eddie. Then, since we were already there....we decided to stay for the midnight showing of New Moon. We couldn't help ourselves. We make no apologies.

I had to be up by 7:30 the next morning and kind of wanted to die. But the thought of RPatz' hair and Tay-Tay's abs kept me going. And a gallon drum of Diet Coke. And a lot of sugar.

And then it was finally time for what I had been waiting months for...my New Moon party!


This handsome couple showed up, took a few pics, and then I told the one with scruff to scram. I gave him bonus points for his solid, smoldering stare-down competition with Jacob. However--maybe next time he should try it in front of a poster featuring someone less, um, smoldering. Someone like Jerry Lewis! Then he would surely win the stare-down contest. (Just kidding, T! Love the red and black!)

May I welcome you to Forks? Eddie stopped by to oversee the night's activities. He's so thoughtful that way.

SQUUUEAALLL!! Did you see that he is holding my hand in this pic??

Kristine laying a little sugar on her favorite teenaged werewolf

Sharla fitting right into the advertisements

Once Lancer came out of his man cave, he discovered that his house was plastered with pictures and posters of half-naked oily wolves and vamps, and women in their 30's getting a little too friendly with a cardboard cutout. He was very uncomfortable with this for some reason.

The Gang

In addition to a super low-key taco bar, we did some tasty Twi Treats to take to the movie--all red and black, of course.


We ate our food, listened to the Twilight soundtrack, took a quiz and giggled about our favorite boys. And, yes, New Moon really was just as great the third time. Except for the part where RPatz runs like a girl in a flowing vest during a dream sequence--you know which part I'm talking bout, Willis. That part was just as bad for the third time.

I finally got more than 5 hours of sleep, and then headed out to the Motorcycle show with Lancer. He was much happier at this than the crappy Fall Harvest Craft Fair.

@ The Harley Demo

I love these weird hybrid bikes--they are kind of like a snowmobile mixed with a motorcycle. 3 wheels, less chance to tip over. I'm all for it. We ran into our Stanford Ward friends, Jeff and Natalyn, at the show--I think Lancer has a new recruit for his biker gang. And Natalyn and I are going to try and spend more time on the back of the bikes. She has full leathers. I'm behind the times.

Then off to Napa!! Once we checked into our old-school Motel/Spa, Dr. Wilkinson's, we went to dinner at the CIA in St. Helena. SO tasty.

I started out with the roasted butternut squash soup. I told Lancer that I would spend a day in the kitchen if I could somehow re-create the delish soup at home. The waiter must have heard, and showed up with the recipe. It makes 3 gallons--so once I figure out how to make, oh, 4 cups, I will get busy.

Lance got the swordfish on a bed of lentils with bacon, and I got the steak with blue cheese sauce with fingerling potatoes. We shared the wilted spinach salad.

Lance got the apple marzipan tartine, and it made him make this face. I hope he steers clear of those down the line.

We love-love-love the CIA!

Napa is so beautiful! The fall colors were in full bloom all over. I love the small town charm.

After our mud baths, whirlpool, steam room, facial, and massage...we sadly packed up and headed back home. But not without a stop at Bouchon for lunch, and the Bouchon Bakery for baked goods to go. I love Thomas Keller.

Lancer got the apple/butternut squash soup with toasted hazelnuts, I got the french onion soup, and we shared the salad with warm goat cheese. All culinary perfection.

For entrees, I got the pan-seared trout, and Lancer got the roasted chicken.

Then we headed on home and relaxed. I really needed a weekend hanging out in Canadian peat moss and volvanic ash from the Napa Valley. I'm so glad Lancer intuitively knew this. He also intuitively knew I needed some cute Pumas, a new sweater dress, and tights to boot. What a smart gent.

Over The Moon

OMIGOSH!OMIGOSH!OMIGOSH!OMIGOSH!OMIGOSH!OMIGOSH!OMIGOSH!OMIGOSH!


I'm going to resist the urge to do a faux Mastercard commercial here. You know--"Soda and popcorn-$11. Edward Cullen shirt-$33. Gas to get from the South Bay to the North Bay--$14. Seeing New Moon 2 days before the masses--priceless." Oh wait--I just did. But seriously peeps--priceless.

Let's just start out by saying the New Moon is a grillion times better than Twilight--and that is saying something since this is not a Team Edward movie. AND--I have now become 3/4 Edward, 1/4 Jacob. I never saw the appeal of Jacob before b/c I was never the girl to fall for my "best guy friend." I always went for the more obvious guy who was bad for me. Methinks my dating life would have been a lot better with a little more Jacob in it. Oh, to go back in time.

Back to New Moon. I got to sport this awesome all access wristband.

And sit in a fancy Summit Entertainment "Reserved Section" seat with the press. By chance we sat next to some local celebrity DJ's, and I pretended not to know them. They asked how I got in, and I returned the favor. They said "Well, we have people--so how did you get in?" My answer: "I clearly have people--I'm sitting next to you." Big laughs, ice broken.


The one sitting closest to me wanted to hear all about this secret underworld of Twi-Hards. He had no idea how crazy we are. I wanted to invite him to my party on Friday and really scare him. He asked how Lancer felt about my 3/4 Edward/1/4 Jacob/Twilight/RPatz obsession and I told him that he thought it was a step above my outdated NKOTB obsession. So true.

We also got 4 posters, which I love, and will use for my party. See how it said the entrance was closed? That was only for the little people. Kidding. (**but not really**)

Yes, friends, New Moon is as exciting, amazing, and swoon-worthy as you think it is. I cannot wait to go on Friday.

On another note, I learned a valuable lesson about wearing a white shirt under my fancy new sweater dress. And that lesson is to wear a black shirt. So glad RPatz didn't see me like this. How embarrassing.

Oh Eddie--how I have missed thee. See you soon.

Busy as Bees

I was all excited for November to be the "relaxing" month between October and December. Yeah, that hasn't happened yet. Here's what we have been up to:

Had a delicious birthday dinner for our funny and adorable friend Ashley. If you haven't read her blog, you should. You will be funnier for it--trust me. Yes, we ate at Fuel. Don't judge-it's delish.



Next, Lancer was all excited for this motorcycle show in San Mateo. It has a ton of vendors, and they all display their newest wares and goods. They even had a (likely pink and purple filled) section for ladies. I was sold.


However, when we arrived, Lancer and I started seeing signs about some Harvest Festival--that's code for arts and crafts.Turns out we were a week early. Oops. Since we were already up there, I suggested we stay and see what they had going on.



It wasn't totally heinous--in fact, we had some delicious food, bought some yummy soy candles, and a Christmas gift I want to wear now. However, the Ball n Chain vetoed it. Guess it has to wait. As Lancer said about the craft fair--"You hit paydirt, and I just hit dirt."


We also got a DVR--FINALLY. I'm not sure why we were so behind the times on this--we're fairly tech savvy. It makes no sense. Even The Atwoods had DVR, and they're as thrifty as can be. Finding this out was almost as bad as when Tat beat me @ Dance Dance Revolution. This machine has already changed my life. I am now hooked on 30 Rock, and feel myself getting lazier and fatter. Thanks, Comcast.Speaking of the Atwood family, I got to visit Hayley and little baby Lincoln. She's right--I could have snuggled him for hours. He's so cute, and looks just like Avy. Congrats--we love you!


After the Harvest Festival, I tricked Lancer into going to Fry's and buying one more huge crockpot. Hey--I'm a big batch lady. I need big batch equipment. I had to clear off a whole shelf so I can have quick and easy access to them. I am convinced this is going to make my life easier.

It's also Clementine Cuties time!! We stopped by Whole Foods, and this is all that's left from a huge crate. We love these babies--and they're perfect right now. Not too firm, not too soft--juuuust right. Eat up! Vitamin C is waiting.


I also got to help host a baby shower for my favorite Twilight Mom, who is actually now going to be a mom. A real one. We can hardly wait for Renesme.

Mom to be opening her gifts

Alyssa with the other love of her life--Eddie. I was going to take him down post-Halloween and then put him back up for New Moon next Friday--but then I thought Alyssa would enjoy having it up for her shower. Lance is thrilled.

Kristine arranged 3 cute games, because Alyssa LOVES games. And we have to do what Mama wants.

The Ladies

I finally got to use my buffet warmer--this was a Christmas gift from Lancer last year. I love it! It keeps food the perfect temperature while you entertain in the other room.

And this is Brooke's famous salad, as interpreted by Heather. It was delicious. Here is the link for the recipe since everyone asked for it. Repeatedly. (You Warner ladies know how to eat! I mean that in the best way possible!)

The whole spread

And the adorable (and from what I hear tasty) carrot cake that Sharla made and decorated all by herself. It was so cute! It says "Goodbye tummy, hello mummy." I love that the baby on the cake is British.

Phew! That was one crazy week. I am so excited for next week--New Moon on Wednesday, Twilight in the theatre on Thursday, and then the New Moon party on Friday. I am ready for Eddie. Bring it on Twilight Moms! I will shove you out of the way if you get in my way. You tweens have nuthin on this crazy lady.

And Heather is Back on The Phone!

Remember this debacle?? We decided to give The Westin another go to make it right.

The Westin didn't disappoint. What is it with this group of girls? Why do we always 1. Have an issue at The Westin and 2. Let Heather get on the phone to make it right and 3. Laugh hysterically as we stand by goofing off and make Heather make the aforementioned call. It's a pattern I'm not wanting to break--AND, we did get a security guard to crawl on the floor and smell under the doors. Awesome!

We checked in--nice and smooth. We took the elevator up to the floor--nice and smooth. We get off the elevator--not nice and smooth--stinky and skunkweedy. As in skunkweed. As is cheap, crappy, stinky, um, MaryJane. Ugh. It permeated the entire floor, and got closer as we got to our room. The 2 prego ladies were not digging. Neither was I--just sayin' they were more sensitive to it, that's all.

We bust into the room and Heather gets on the phone and calls the front desk. She angrily informs them that the floor smells like "Skunk and Weed." I correct her--"Honey, it's skunkweed. One word."

In any case, security same up and checked out the room across the hall. They claimed it wasn't them, but I think it was. After security left, they stunk up the floor with their Designer Imposters Perfume. You remember those, right? If you like Giorgio, you'll love Primo! I swear I didn't wear them in Jr. High. And by that, I mean I did and now I'm totally ashamed.


As we waited for the preggos to go get a new room, we took some sneaky pics through the peephole. This is the security guard trying to track down the smoky offenders:

Besides being able to identify skunkweed, I especially love Lindsay because she's also into music. Which means she didn't look at me like I was an alien when I mentioned The Smiths and Morrissey. I especially love that she knows that The Smiths and Morrissey are not an imaginary band named "Smith Morrissey." If you have no idea what I'm talking about, just think back to when you wore Designer Imposters and go on listening to Miley Cyrus.

What would our night be without snackies? Lindsay got all Fancypants on us, and brought great shame in the snacks Department. I brought veggie dip, Hayley brought peanut butter M & M's, and Linday brings prosciutto, cheese, & sliced apples and pears. Way to go, Fancypants! We're going to take a cue from you next time.

My ghetto offerings--which pale in comparison to delish prosciutto and fruit.

Ahh, ladies. Thanks for another good night of fun, gossip, and giggles until 5 am. Then brunchie-brunch the next morning. The home for a nappie-nap. Here's to our next trip!

Incorrigible Dobbie

I made Lancer a pizza for dinner while I dined on ice-cream and cleaned out our two freezers. Seriously, peeps--my freezer is like my old pantry. It was loaded with 2 tons of old, icky, outdated crap that can't be consumed by humans or dogs alike. Why do I have pork chops from 2006? Maybe I'm responsible for the swine flu--it likely escaped when I opened my freezer door.

In any case, they're certainly coming along. I cleaned out all of the junk, and now I'm making room for all of my delicious soups and sauces I've been making all week.

Back to the pizza--I'm out in the garage when I hear the distinct clacking of dog nails on my counter. I run in to find Dobbie, up to his usual tricks.

Damage--one piece of thin crust BBQ pizza. Score one for Dogface!

Lucky for me, he knows his command "leave it!" We can use it to place food or another desired item in front of him, and command him to leave it alone. It's great--it's so hard for him, he can't look at it. He will look off into the distance with sad eyes. Then we yell "take it!" and said item is gone in an instant.

Why is my baby such a rotter? Oh well. He makes up for his culinary indiscretions by being so darn cute, polite, and snuggly. And for gladly wearing all of the holiday neckerchiefs I put on him.

My Secret Cookie Fan Club

People online in South Dakota know about my cookie parties?? AWESOME! This little gem showed up in my inbox tonight:

"Is it possible to connect with Kaari Jacobs from 2008 photos/stories and find out where she purchased the fun oval shaped pressed tin cookie trays? She gave each of her guests one to put their cookies in. I would love to find something like that.

Rosemary from Pierre, South Dakota"

Oh, Rosemary--you make me feel like the section in Us Weekly where people write in and say things like "I love Lady Gaga's black leather wristband--where can I find one like it?"

So, back to business. The answer is Wal-Mart from the previous year--1/2 off. I'm so thrifty.

Start planning that wining recipe now!

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

We decided to give Brangelina a run for their money at our "Hollywood couples" Halloween party this evening

I should never dye my hair brown.

And, according to me (and my extensive pop culture knowledge), I present you the best Halloween costume of the entire season: Ms. Lady Gaga.

I *loved* the spooky libations bar. They put so much time and effort into throwing such a killer soiree. Good work, ladies!

But the best part of the party was when we went to the wrong house first--we ate food, partied a bit, checked out costumes, said hello, looked for friends, and then had an awkward exchange with the hostess of the house. She went to take our picture, but lowered the camera and gave us a weird look instead. We looked at her, she looked at us, then we all realized we were at the wrong house. (I thought it was awfully scandalous to have a Katy Perry song playing--I kissed a girl and I LIKED IT!!).

Can I also pretend that I didn't ruin their impeccable spooky food spread by adding (and then leaving) a plastic container of mini-cupcakes?? I was too embarrassed to go back and get them. I'm sure some kid thought he hit pay dirt with those crappy mini cakes.

Happy Halloween--may you always attend the right party.

I Got People

And those people got me access to an exclusive screening "pre-premiere" of New Moon...on November 18th. That's right--the rest of the little people must wait until November 20th.

I'll be in the press section....with my people.

You should get people.

Lessons I Learned from Chipotle

Back in our newlywed days, a new Chipotle opened up in Foster City. I was excited--I love good Mexican food. They had this highly addictive creamy avocado and corn salsa that was sooo tasty. I would find excuses to go during the week--then it became a few few times a week--soon, it was every single day. I couldn't get enough. Lancer warned me not to eat there all of the time, that I would get sick of it and start hating it. I ignored his sage wisdom.

A few months later, the thought of Chipotle made me want to hork. It took me 5 years before I would eat it again, and I have to say it wasn't even all that great. Bleh.

My point--I think I'm starting to move into that scary territory with Fuel in SJ. They have these grilled pork rolls and mango beef salad that I think about all night and day.

I popped in tonight, and the guy says to me "grilled pork rolls with gluten free sauce and a Diet Coke?" Crap--moving into Chipotle territory, right?

Worse. The food is delivered, and the lady says "here you go, Kaari."

Def-initely Chipotle territory. But I can't stop myself. And I don't think I want to.

Going for Gold

We have been busy partying it up lately--see last post. Did I mention I also had to throw my church's Halloween party on Saturday night? I need a week of straight sleeping.

Last week we were in Utah for Dave and Bon-Bon's 50th wedding anniversary. 50 years! Crazy.

The lovebirds in 1959

And the lovebirds today! Many moves, kids, and hairstyles. Oh, the hairstyles. Bon-Bon had every single hairstyle that was ever popular. Bouffant, beehive, flip, flat, short, long, permed..you name it.

Bonnie is a party gal just like me--so we had dinner on Thursday, Anniversary party on Friday, and Halloween party on Saturday. It was a non-stop party.

Hangin' out with my kind

Madonna and an Arabian Princess...better known as Capree and Avery

Bonnie had spent months putting together a special album for all of the kids with all of their childhood pictures--it was an incredible feat, and a lot of fun to have. I may have to do some scanning.

Bonnie and David checking out the book we put together for them with letters and pictures from all of us.


While we were at dinner, Lancer told me about an Esquire article he had read that said people look better if they show more teeth when they smile. We gave it a try.

Regular smile

Showing more teeth. I think # 1 is the clear winner.

Happy Anniversary Bon-Bon and Dave--we love you! We hope you still love us after you see the above photo.

Nightmare on Golden State Street

My creepy (in a good way) friend April and I had so much fun at our joint birthday party back in April that we decided to co-host another party--our annual Halloween bash!

Have you ever tried to entertain 65 people? It takes a lot of decorating and work. Here are my homemade meatballs getting ready for the oven.

Here's the base for my tomato bisque

And poor Dobbie's worst nightmare...the halo is back on. He got an infected bite near his business, and had been licking it like crazy. I came home from an appointment and knew something was immediately up when Lance and Dogface were both gone. I hightailed it over to the vet, where a very surprised Lancer was weirded out to see me. Mamma's instincts don't just work with kids with 2 legs, ya know. Lance could *never* ever have an affair. I would know in 2 seconds--not that he would try, just sayin. I have good instincts--maybe I should be a PI!

And I was sooooo tired. I threatened to not do the village-I really wasn't going to. At midnight, the night before the party, I freaked out and pulled out a few pieces. Nothing like in the years past--like Diet Village.

April's creative and talented bro Brian helped us with the theme and invite--this year we went with "Nightmare on Golden State Street." AKA you're worst nightmare. Bring on the creative costumes!

It started out with another grody cake. It was an anatomically correct torso, which meant the heart was red jello and weeped when it was cut.

Our yard

The barfing pumpkin dip

Poltergeist kid, arachnaphobe, and a dead Alice.

Looksi who showed up in my mirror--Eddie!! He can't wait to see me on November 20th.

Ghastly duo...

Banana...accompanied by a hungry monkey.

Mom jeans and a teenage boyfriend.

Oh, poor Sharla. New Moon was canceled. This is a close second for my worst nightmare.

Party People

Man with a nasty bug...

Sarah, being her parents' worst nightmare. PS--this is the magical German Girl dress I wore right before Lancer proposed!

Unwelcome guest...

And then on to my costume. Check out the pants--I went as a crazed NKOTB fan....

...with a restraining order from Donnie. MY WORST NIGHTMARE. And, just for the record, these are NOT real pants.

Pete and Julie--I accidentally touched his worst nightmare--blech.

Spencer Pratt, donning a creepy blond beard, Googling himself. Sadly, Heidi was AWOL. I suspect when we see her next, she will have a new rack.

.
Electrocution victim. From the rumors, though, I hear she's prone to burning things down with dutch ovens. Believe what you will.

Lance as King Tut, cursed boy ruler who died at a young age. He's commanding his minions to build a pyramid for him.

The cursed and restrained couple...worst nightmares come true.

Jon and Kate...and Kate. Love the do, ladies.

2 Jons, 2 Kates. Nothing but trouble. Do the right thing and return the money, Jon.

Goblin and creepy clown

The Terminator and a mauled jogger

That's all folks! Can't wait for next year!

If I had time to post, I would

But I don't, so this is what you get. Please forgive me. It's been party central here for the last 2 weeks, and I have two more back to back parties this weekend. What was I thinking?

This party girl is quickly turning into a party pooper from sheer exhaustion.

PS..will anyone really be disappointed and/or angry if Spooky Village doesn't appear by Friday? It's still in the shed and I need sleep.

What's a Little Breaking & Entering Among Friends?

Kristine came up with a fabulous idea a few months ago--a weekend at a beach house in Santa Cruz. Sign me up! The weather was a bit on the blustery side, and I was feeling a little on the lay around in pajamas side--good match. All in all, it was a great weekend that got off to a bit of a rocky start. I'm starting to wonder if I'm a GNO curse.

Here's Kristine going for the key in her pocket

Here's Kristine not getting in the door because the owners of our amazing house had accidentally deadbolted the door from the inside. The deadbolt has no key. After some serious negotiations with the owners, we got permission to break into the house.

The kind neighbor came over with a hammer and some rugs to help us bust into the garage.

I volunteered to break and enter, having been the only one in the group with experience in doing so. Don't ask. I posted this photo to shame Sharla, WHO SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER THAN TO TAKE IT.

One leg in

Dropping down to the garage floor

We're in!!

A few necessary items--trashy magazines...

...and craptastic movies and the karaoke machine. I love me some Dirty Dancing!

We kicked off the evening with some tasty fondue. **Someone** may have caused me to giggle during their prayer by praying that we would have a "super fun weekend."

Cheese fondue and pizza fondue followed by chocolate fondue. We were stuffed.

Here's the beautiful morning on our deck--killer view!

Hanging out on the couches in our jammies...

...by the roaring fire!

Saturday night we had a taco bar with all the fixins.

No taco bar would be complete without my cheesy white trash dip. It's delish.

Here's our poor hack job on fixing the window. At least we tried.

Bye-bye gorgeous and spacious beach house!

And bye-bye to 4 lovely girls--thanks for a fun and relaxing weekend. Maybe next time I will get dressed and leave the house. But I truly enjoyed my time on the couch watching Mean Girls with you and eating copious amounts of food.

They Say It's Your Birthday...

Overheard in the bathroom today

Grandma: Wash your hands--you don't want to get swine flu!

Kid: I just did!

Grandma: No, you didn't wash them long enough. They said on the news you have to sing "happy birthday" while you wash them.

Kid-sticking hands under faucet: Happy Birthday! (Bonus points for the kid--technically, he did what G-Ma asked)

Grandma: No, you have to sing the whole song from start to finish. Stick your hands under the water and get more soap. Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Ryan, happy birthday to you!

Kid/Ryan: It's my birthday??

Grandma: No.

Kid/Ryan-now crying: You just said it was my birthday! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Grandma: No, it's just to time the hand-washing. It's not your birthday! Your brithday isn't until next June.

Kid/Ryan: But you said it was!! WAHHHHHHH! I want presents!! WAHHHHHHHHHH.


That's what you get for listening to the evening news and their "super helpful" tips on swine-flu avoidance, folks.

P.S. Happy birthday Ryan! you know, in June. Sucks to be you!

Totally Cool or Cool as Ice?

Easy Rider and I are having a bit of a disagreement. Please cast your vote and let us know which one wins this round.

Lance seems to think this is a good looking jacket:

But, I think it looks a little Vanilla Ice. You feel me?

Red, black, and white just seems to 80's to me. Lancer says he trusts my taste, but I can't tell if I'm on the right track with this one.

Please weigh in. Word to your Mutha.

Pub Grub

Our fun, adorable and now OLD friend (just kiddin' girl!) Amber celebrated the big 3-0 and had friends up to HMB to celebrate in style.

Our first stop was Cameron's Pub and Grill. It's this crazy British-style pub full of collectibles. It's a trip.


What would a birthday be without a little karaoke?? Here's Lance covering "Just a Gigolo" by Diamond Dave. It was a crowd fave--video footage possibly to come.

The birthday girl busting out a little Abba!

We did a "great" Bon Jovi song--no really, it was great. And by great I mean terrible--but we had fun and committed. There's nothing worse than people who half-heartedly sing and complain they aren't great singers over and over again. Most people suck--just get down and have fun!


Next, we raided the roll of quarters and hit up the game room--old school pinball, arcade faves, and a jukebox that took my money but never played my songs. I was too lazy to get my $2 back.


What would the night be without a little pub grub? I would kill for some fish and chips, but it's a no-go for me. I settled for some chili and a chocolate banana milkshake that I split with Lancer. Why have I not been drinking these for years?? It was so tasty.


Cameron's, like the rest of CA, has to adhere to a strict no-smoking law, which we all love. They circumvent it by having an outdoor double-decker smoking bus from London in the front yard. We couldn't resist checking that business out.



After Cameron's, we headed over some classier fare at The Ritz. We chatted by the fire, drank cocoa and tea, and watched the waves crash. We were hoping to do s'mores outside by the fire, but it was far too windy and far too cold. Inside was just fine with this little lass.

Happy Birthday Lady!

Twugs from D-Dub

Your eyes do not deceive you--that's truly **the** D-Dub giving me a shout-out on Twitter this evening. Virtually tucking me in and giving me a Twitter hug, better known as a Twug.

I saw that he was on so I launched a full tweet assault on the man, trying to goad him into responding to just one of my clever and crafty messages. Clearly, timing is everything because it finally worked!!

That only took 6 months, countless tweets, and the complete and utter annoyance of everyone following me on Twitter. I'm sure they think I will stop--but let's be honest--it only fueled the fire.

Next goal: getting him to follow me

Next-next goal: Conversing with him regularly, and making other fans jealous

Next-next-next goal: Meeting the man (and legend since 1988)

Next-next-next-next goal: Total world domination

I'm a gal with big plans. Watch me run like the wind.

God bless Twitter.

Easy Rider

Lance went and got all ninja on me. Not that kind of Ninja.

This kinda Ninja.

He's contemplating all of his cool riding maneuvers in the picture below.

It's a hot little number--I love riding on the back. It's soooo Bella and Jacob after he gets all beefy, buff, and legal. I'm totally going to speed in hopes that RPatz appears as a hot ghostly figure, chastising me for being reckless. Then it's off a cliff for me!

Now onto my jacket and helmet. Why is all the biker chick crap pink??

I hate pink, followed by purple, so my options are limited. {shudder} Apparently, I have to dress like Rizzo to ride on the motorcycle. Why is that?

May I also take a brief moment to assure you that my man is *not* having a midlife crisis. He used to be a semi-professional BMX rider back in the day, and he's had his motorcycle license since he was 16. Besides--midlife crises are reserved for men who are saddled with the following:

and

and, most importantly,


My man is cool as ice..he's way too cool to be melting down midlife.

PS--totally unrelated--did no one notice the dog in glasses on my page?? A dog...in glasses. In SF. With my own eyes. I love this place.

Oysters, Part 2

Our favorite SF girl and recent bride Jo-Jo just turned another year older. She wanted oysters and champagne for her birthday--I subbed in an ice-cold Diet Coke for the stronger stuff, but was more than happy to chow down on oysters for the second time in 2 weeks. I've totally come around on these little crustaceans. I like them raw, but really love them BBQ'd.

We headed down to The Marshall Store in Marhsall, Ca--it's near Stinson Beach. The drive is gorgeous--green and windy, with little pit stops in tiny towns. It reminds me of Iowa.

Joe and Jo

Eating oysters at the roadside table

In addition to the oysters, I got a crab salad followed by apple slices and some Mt. Tam cheese. I need to pick up another wedge of this creamy baby.

This place is seriously great. It's a tiny roadside restaurant that serves up oysters, clam chowder, and crab delights. It's popular with bikers and kayakers. We will definitely be going back.

Snuggi over half-shells

The crazy ladies. I love Jo-Jo's dress.

Love you girls. Here's to more delish food next year! Happy Bday baby!

Space Dobbie

What do you get when you combine America's favorite dog....

...and space-age technology??

Why, you get a Lil' Satellite Head!!! Poor Dogface. He got an infected callus on his elbow, and had to have surgery. Since he's unreliable and eats everything he can get his fat little paws on, they had to give him the ol' doggie halo.



See how happy he is?? NOT. Now I know where they get the term puppy-dog eyes. I feel bad for Baby. His halo is so wide, and our halls so narrow--he crashes into walls, chairs, and us. I took him for a walk the other night, and he bonked into trees, signs, and cars. It was a sad sight.

Here's wishing Dogface a speedy recovery--may his next halo-filled days be filled with belly rubs and nummy bones to get him through the weekend.

I Do Not Have Swine Flu, THANKYOUVERYMUCH

My shoulders, neck, and upper back have been giving me fits for the past few days. I have tried stretching, heating, icing, rolling, rubbing...to no avail. I decided that I needed professional intervention, and headed to my local no-frills/cheapie massage therapy studio.

It started out just fine--the right pressure, lots of deep tissue work, fake ocean waves being piped into the room. After about 45 minutes of being face down, however, my nose started getting plugged up. I tried to re-adjust my face, but it wasn't helping, so I started breathing through my mouth. This made my breathing shallow, so I tried my nose again, but was straining for air--lots 'o' sniffing.

No worries, though! Just as my rebellious sinuses started acting up, my therapist told me he was going to wash his hands--when he returned, I should be on my back. I flipped over, and was breathing easy. Too bad I can't say the same for my massager guy.

Upon his return, he started working on my neck. The pressure felt right, but something was off. I quickly realized he had rubber gloves on!! I knew in my heart of hearts that when I popped an eye open I would see a face mask--yep, I was right. Rubber gloves always go with a protective face mask. It's the combo I see @ SFO whenever I fly.


I wanted to shout that I didn't have swine flu, and that my "breathing problems" were due to extreme pressure on back/squished face, but I doubt he would have believed me. The best part was when he tried to run his hands through my hair and get to my neck, but the gloves got stuck in my curls.

Thank goodness I didn't book a facial with him.

Rotten Manners