Ouch

On my way to wedding reception yesterday, I was walking up the stairs with a ginormous laundry basket filled with fruit. I noticed with each step that the basket felt heavier, and my arms felt weakened. In my sickly state, my arms kinda gave out, my legs kinda gave out, and I kinda went flying forward onto the pavement. Strawberries went-a-flying, and my knee went-a-skinning. I haven't had a skinned knee since I was, like, 5. I looked around, almost crying, hoping my mom would jump out of the bushes with my Cabbage Patch Kid Becky Sue, a Rainbow Bright Band-Aid and a bottle of Bactine spray to make it all better. Sadly, she did not, but the nice helpers in the kitchen ran out to assist me. I was left to clean my own skinned knee in the bathroom by myself. Can you believe the audacity of my mother to not show up? She may as well be Candy Spelling in my book!

Vickie's Wedding

At long last....Vickie's wedding! They got married in the Oakland Temple (read more about the Temple here.) Unfortunately, I was severely under the weather, and didn't make it to the ceremony. I was really bummed about that, but I knew there was no way I could do a full day, and I was needed in the evening. So...something had to give.

First off--Vickie looked incredible. She really did. The two of them were *so* cheesy happy. Perma-grins all day night. The food, decorations...everything went off without a hitch. Except for the two cars that got broken into during the reception. But I'm going to let God handle those losers.

A few pics below--we literally just got the new camera, and we're learning how to use it. The bad pics are mine, and the kinda-bad pics are Lance's. Don't judge.

Congrats! We love you!

To Drive Home The Point

Remember how I told you I was sick? Well, I figured a picture is worth a million words. So...I kinda-sorta-didn't wash my hair for a few days, as I was feeling all sick-like. It's so thick, and it takes hours to dry, so I just kinda stuck it up in a bun and called it a day. Yesterday was Vickie's wedding, so I had to tackle the rats nest. I pulled the rubberband out, and my hair essentially stayed in place. I told Lance, who grabbed his super-sweet new camera to document my pain.

I somehow managed to whip myself into shape to look presentable at the wedding. My friend Alie said I looked good for being so sick...so I showed her the pics above. She kinda recoiled. What can I say--I clean up nicely.

Me, a few hours later. I look better...but inside I felt *exactly* like I looked above. Bad news. Thanks instant-spray-tan bronzer!!

This post should dispel any myths people might have about me being vain.

Sickie

I haven't been sick-sick in a long time, so I know I shouldn't be complaining...but I feel like total crap. And I can't even eat chicken noodle soup!! In fact, I can barely eat at all...not that I want to. My front room look like a NyQuil and tissue graveyard. Stay away from me if you can. You've been warned.

Miley Cyrus-See You Again

See...not *totally* offensive, and could easily be Ashley Simpson, yes?

This Speaks For Itself

Evolution of Dance

Further proof that the ladies just want a funny guy...

Hmmm

I heard a song on the radio the other day that didn't totally suck. I was trying to figure out who it was. It went a little like this:

Radio: **Playing song that doesn't totally suck.**

My Thoughts: Hmm. I wonder who this is. Eww! What if it's Ashlee Simpson? Yuck. That would be embarrassing. But she is married to Pete Wentz now, so maybe she has some cred. I guess I could listen to her if this song came on the radio. It's not like I'm adding it to my Ipod. I would just have to be alone, and I would have to make sure my windows were rolled all the way up.

Radio: That was Miley Cyrus!!

My Thoughts: Hell-to-the no!! I shall never listen to that song EVER AGAIN!!!

I Have The Funniest Friends Ever

Sucka-Free Dj's:

McGrody

I did something I haven't done in a long time--I ate @ McD's. For most people, this is no biggie. For me, however, this was monumental. In my previous pre-husbie-healthy-mostly organic-life, I was a *wee* bit of a McAddict. Let's just say that the weird Big Mac dude in Supersize Me could have very easily been my soulmate if I hadn't steered my way onto a new course.

It started in high school--my posse would dart out for a quick lunch, and then rush back to school. The deets are fuzzy, but I recall only having 2 choices for lunch--McD's and The Sev. Well, and school lunch, but after a semester of having my "open campus" privileges revoked for too many McTardys, I was McNever-eating-there again!

High School became College and then College became Real Life. And the McAddiction continued. Every day....a number 1 with Diet Coke and hot fudge sundae with nuts. I should be 800 pounds. People told other people about me at parties...I was their back-pocket party trick.

I knew all of the drive-through people, especially the army dude @ the location on Page Mill and El Camino in my old hood. If no one was in line behind me, we would chat about life. I had an ex in the car once, and after 5 minutes of our chatting, he asked how I knew the guy. Duh! I knew him through the McD's drive-thru window. Why the weird face??

Then one day it hit me. The food was making me sick. Really sick. About this time, I found out I am *highly* allergic to gluten, which rules out wheat. I tried the Bunless Big Mac a few times, but the love and desire waned. McDless Days turned into McDless Weeks which turned into McDless Months. And so the story comes full circle. I opted to swing by yesterday morning for a Muffin-less Egg McMuffin meal. 5 minutes later, I cursed Ray Kroc and his demon food. I was *so* sick all day. And I had no one to blame but myself. Well, me and that loser clown Ronald. I ain't lovin' it!!

Mmm-Bop

Me: Have you heard about that band, the Jonas Brothers??

Husbie: No.

Me: Yeah, they're the new tween sensation. They're these 3 brothers that sing and dance and crap.

Husbie: Hmm. I bet Hansen's jealous.

Me: So true! Especially since there's no awkward middle kid...you know, this guy:

Our Summer Shopping List.....

We've decided we need the following to make our summer the best it can be:

A Beach Umbrella

Aquasocks

2 Boogie Boards--for when we don't feel like surfing

Rash Guards

A Phat cooler for drinks and snacks

Join us on the beach anyone??

Summer, I Love You, But You Are Seriously Pushing Your luck

Summer has arrived. Instead of being happy and relaxed, however, I'm hot, sweaty, and a little angry. It kinda sucks so far. I already have a heat rash, which does *not* bode well for the next 3 months. Summer is bringing triple-digit temps, which is no biggie for the rest of the US. However, we Northern-California-Babies are, well, Northern-California-Babies. We are so used to Mother Nature gifting us with her mild temperament....so when she gets all crazy on us, we all whine, wail, and gnash our hot little teeth. No one has air, or heat for that matter, because we normally don't need it. Here's how we escaped the heat--if you read my blog regularly, you will notice that it is suspiciously familiar to last weekend's shenanigans.

The beach was packed, and people were actually in the water. This never happens, which should tell you how hot it was here today:

Met up in Pacifica to chill on the beach with Tinger:

Lance practiced his zen art rock formations in the sand:

There's no photo for this one, but I *highly* recommend NOT spraying aerosol sunblock near a nice black Benz belonging to your Husbie, especially when a cool summer breeze happens to be blowing on by. (Note: sunblock protects your precious epidermis from burning, but it eats through paint on cars. Just a helpful hint.) This will cause a lot of anger on his part, and you will be stopping into several gas stations to find a local car wash. Oops.

We split with Tinger, and headed to The Embarcadero in SF. We stopped in to eat @ Taylor's Refresher. For those not familiar, I suggest you quickly become familiar. It's one of the best stops in SF. We had the special--the pulled pork sandwich, split an order of the sweet potato fries, and each got a shake--mint-chip, and chocolate, respectively.

Then we cruised through the Ferry Building, and checked out all of the organic and delicious offerings:

We hoofed it up to Union Square where Lance scored great finds (AGAIN!!) at Loehman's and BR. FYI--the entire BR store is ON SALE RIGHT NOW. On the way back to The Embarcadero, we saw what appeared to be a car fire. Because I'm freakin' Nosy-Noserson, I made Lance go check it out with me. On the way, we saw a police car, then a firetruck, then a motorcycle, then a motorcade, then 10 cars full of Secret Service Agents...full on spooks. One looked *just* like Agent Smith ala The Matrix. Still haven't figured what what going on...but here is the pic of the bombed out van:

As this guy says--Welcome To The Good Life!!

Summa

I love summer, and this is why:

1. Summertime by the Fresh Prince

2. Cruel Summer by Bananarama

3. Summer of 69 by Bryan Adams

4. Boys of Summer by Don Henley

5. Vacation by the Go-Go's. Not technically a summer song...but when do you get fun vacations? That's right-summer!

Warm It Up Kris

I got to hang out with my 'special' friend Jen last night. We've been friends for-ever, and she is my meanest, snarkiest, funniest friend EVER. She is also very nice. How's that possible, you say? It just is. She is both wickedly mean, and wickedly nice. Here are a few reasons why I like her:

1. She knows every bad song ever made. She knows the way to answer my Kriss-Kross call to arms is "I'm about to!!" and "Cus' that's what I was born to do!!" Word.

2. She has also see every episode of Made on MTV. We agreed that most people end up much better than they started, except for the white beat boxer. She was still wiggedy-wiggedy-wiggedy-whack!

3. This isn't a reason why I like her, but it is one of the reasons I have to keep her on my good side. She knows a little TOO much about my pre-husbie love life. Yeah, she lived next door to my old boyfriend, and she would spy on us out of her attic window. She did this while getting backrubs from my other old boyfriend. Um, yeah.

4. She called her mom to let her know that her daughter AND dad weren't allowed to eat any of her cake. She needs a serious lesson from Marie Antoinette. That lady was ca-ra-zy, and even she let people eat baked goods.

5. She still believes we're characters from 90210. Brenda forever!

So, even though she's "been around the block" and has "a lot of serious problems" I like her a lot.

Amazing Alie

Last night, we got to party with our friends. It's always fun when my Stanford-day friends mix with my current-day friends. In honor of Alie's bday, her fab friends threw an "Amazing Race" party for her. It started out with about an hour of hoofing it through the streets of Sunnyvale, following signs and getting clues. It also included badgering passerbys for newspaper and cheese. It was really fun, and ended with a gluten-free dinner to be enjoyed by all.

The starting line. Racers, ready! Please note Hayley's and Lindsey's faces. Haha.

And...we're off!

This is where we had the dinner. It's Steve and Alie's almost-done-but-not-quite-yet new house. We strung up lights and cute lanterns all over the ceiling.

Happy birthday Alie!!