Goodbye, NKOTB...

I think it's time to give up NKOTB.

I'm older, wiser, and need to do better things with my time than stalk Boybanders from Boston. Plus, my hand hurts from tweeting so much. And, let's face it, those 3 tweets from D-Dub were probably a fluke after all.

Also, I've been listening to their music with a blind ear, and it's really not all that great. And, unlike my previous assertions, Donnie really never locked eyes with me in Concord. I just imagined that.

It's been a great 20 year run, but it's time to move on. Goodbye, Kids. I will miss you. Especially you, Donnie. And your abs.

April Fools!!!!

Giving up the Kids is like begging to be boring. Who would do that? Not this fun little lass.

LONG LIVE THE BLOCK!

D-Dub in the Hopper

What are you doing tomorrow night? I know what I'm doing. I'm recording the season premier of In Plain Sight, the undercover cop drama on USA.

Why? Cause this NKOTB is making an appearance.

All right---I admit it. Dub may be looking a little, um, worse for wear in that picture. I blame it on the cop wear.

Let's try this one:

Much better, yes? Somewhere, Marky Mark is crying over his inferior 2 pack and moobs. Just sayin.

Lance is Neither a Gentleman Nor a Scholar

But mostly he's just not a gentleman. Please see an detailed outline of his egregious behavior.

Here's a conversation from the other night:

Me: Hey, Babe, can you please put my ice-cream away?

Lancer: Sure, I'll put it away.

This is a good example of a gentleman and a scholar.

The next night, after what I promise was a nutritious meal (doubtful) I went to go dig into the freezer for my frosty delight. What I pulled out was a 99% empty carton.

Me: What the crap?? Did you eat all of my ice-cream?? I asked you to put it away last night!!!

Lancer: I did put it away. I put it all away in my belly.

I see three things wrong with this situation.

One--he ate my freaking ice-cream!

Two--he put back what amounts to an empty carton

Three--he tried to get away with it by being clever.

Mega-lame. I bought two pints tonight, and quickly tried to figure out a way to hide the goods from Mr. Piggy McRudey. Then it hit me! I could hide it in a butter container, because, as we all know now, he cannot find the freaking butter to save his life. Problem solved.

PS--If you see this face, hide your ice-cream. He cannot be trusted.

Baby Tinger

Our favorite celebrity-named couple Tinger decided to have themselves a little baby. I can only imagine the tall tales this little offspring will tell down the line.

Here's Little Red, getting ready to load up on the tasty vittles.

Drinks and dessert

Look how cute these little cupcakes pics were--Ingie is doing a jungle theme for her nursery, so we decided to add a few critters to her dessert table

It was a perfect day--we could not have asked for better weather!

Tasty Spread

Ingie and her sister, Kristen--she was a lovely co-hostess!

All of the sweet spoils--if you invite me to a shower, I'm pretty much guaranteed to show up with a Bumbo seat. I didn't disappoint. I also don't wrap them, just so you know.

Inger with her cute litter of bath towel puppies. Clearly, Target did an AWESOME job of checking things off her registry.

I need to get in and get my hair did, ASAP.

After the shower, we headed to Target and Babies R Us and spent a billion hours pondering over the many variations of baby transport. Kill. Me. Now. At least Travvi no longer has to accompany Little Red on any more of these heinous trips, because we bought all the leftover crap from her registry. I was pleasantly surprised by the new models and features of Pack N Play. {NOT}


Because we're a classy bunch, we decided to kick up our heels and celebrate well with bottomless chips and sub-par food.

After 2 chips and salsa baskets, Angry Lil Red finally had to go over and demand some water. They probably spit in our food, which would explain the taste.

We're quite excited to see the Tweets when Baby Murdock is born. Until then! Love ya!

Full Scene From Eclipse!

I Do Not Have Bieber Fever

My adorable and wise niece Brookie called and started out her message with "Hi my favorite aunt, who is so cute, and funny, and nice, and generous..."

That's Lil' Brookie on the left at my wedding

She wanted to come out for her spring break with her best friend, Katrina--roadtrip! We agreed to let them crash in our tiny cracker box, and had a very fun week with these two crazy ladies.

Upon arriving, they told me all about their freeway flirting, getting caught by hot boys as they were singing into water bottles driving down the freeway, and introduced me to annoying boy sensation Justin Bieber. Thanks for everything but the Bieber part.


On Wednesday, we had the most amazing SF weather. We started out picking up the ever-lovely Jo-Jo, and spending the next few hours on the Haight. The ladies are really into 60's and 70's fashion, and they had so much fun checking out the vintage stores. They can also freakishly long amounts of time without eating--like weird little food camels. Jo-Jo and I started getting tired and headachy, so we forced them to finally eat lunch. Weirdos.

After the Haight, we drove over the Golden Gate bridge, got some amazing pictures at the lookout point.





After that, we hit the Exploratorium, and then ended up at Pier 39 for a ride on the famous carousel. It was quite a day. We talked the girls into trying several new foods, including clam chowder in a bread bowl--right before they flipped the bowl over and shamed themselves.

Thanks, Ladies, for reminding me why I would never go back to being 19 again, even if you get freeway flirting and church dances. Oh, how I miss church dances.

On Saturday night, my crazy friend Brigitte threw a New Moon party in a hotel. It was full of good food, shirtless wolves, and pasty vamps. And lots of fun ladies watching New Moon. It's enough to make you switch teams for a few minutes.

I like my dreamy face in this picture

And, of course, the night wouldn't be complete without Eddie--always good of him to stop by and watch over us

See you all on June 30th!

Cha Cha Slide Chili Cookoff??

I'm still the Activities Director for my ward, mostly because everyone the hates calling, and I actually love it.

Next month, we're starting a new tradition: an annual chili cook-off. All families bring a pot of chili to share, and we provide the toppings (cheese, onions, crackers, sour cream) and sides (rolls, Mexican bean salad) and dessert (TBD).

After dinner, we're line dancing, and then the kids are busting open a cowboy boot pinata. I expect this will actually be a very fun activity--inasmuch as a ward activity can be, I suppose.

So--my questions to my readers in Blogland:

1. Can I teach the Cha-Cha slide, though not really a country dance? Cause I love to criss-cross and get funky, yo.

2. Anyone know of any country tunes that don't sing about booze, broads, bars, or bad things? I'm more of a, well, non-country gal.

3. Anything else that would make the night fun?

Thanks in advance.

Eclipse is Coming!!!

Bon Jovi, Bon-Bon and an American Picker

I really hate doing these posts where I squeeze 5 events into one post. But such is life--here goes.

First up--Bon Jovi! I wish I could do the many hairdos of my love for Bon Jovi. It would start with some permed hair, move on to some big hair, then some wannabe alternative hair, and finally, some blond hair in desperate need of highlights. Like I said--I've been busy.

Yep--that's my NKOTB friend, Carolyn--the one I met on Craigslist. Who says that you can't find quality people on CL?


Slippery When Wet was one of the first tapes I bought, and I wore it out. Jon Bon was in fine form, and looking good. That man doesn't age. He is also one singer that sounds better live than recorded--this is the bookmark for talented singers in my book.

We found out my friend Sharla and her friend were also going, so we met up ahead of time for dinner @ Amici's. I love that I can grab a gluten-free pie, and then go and see a show.

As per my usual luck, I was behind a group of loud, drunk skanks. Brooke and I have that in common. What's the deal? They kept yelling that they were collectively 200 years old. Then one fell over on the floor.

This is us Livin' on a Prayer. It was taken by the drunkies, which explains the great quality.

They played a lot of newer stuff, but made sure they did they hits that made them so popular they still sell out arenas. They did a fake departure, and the crowd begged for more. I just sat down and let the crowd scream on my behalf, because I only scream for 5 boys from Boston, not 4 boys from Jersey.

Their acoustic set was incredible. I could have done without Richie Sambora--he looked like he's had some hard livin.

Next up--Dave and Bon-Bon came down to visit. It was fun and relaxing. We took them to Stacks, where we got eggs benedict...

...and Lancer got the bacon and egg tacos. Then my camera died, and I didn't get any more pictures. But we got to ride through the streets of SF on a trolley and dine on gourmet cupcakes.

They also mowed our lawn, made us food, did our laundry, lined our shelves, and convinced Lance to replace the gigantic and heavy sliding door into my room. His dad took it off the hinges, hoping to fix it, and realized we should just throw in the towel. I'm excited for the new door! Clearly, I'm old.

And, lastly, I have a favorite new show: American Pickers.

It's on the History Channel, and I realized that this guy is my male counterpart. He picks through barns, shops, and people's attics looking for cool decorating pieces. I love doing this, and always make sure I bring back treasures from Iowa and Wisconsin. His shop is based in Iowa, and I sent him a Tweet telling him I loved the show, and that it was fun to see my gorgeous homestate. He wrote back"@TheMostess thank you Iowa is beautiful I'm glad we can show it off to the world." I knew all Iowans were nice people!

Just this morning, he asked if people knew where he could buy vintage European posters--hello! I have 2. And here they are:

I'm happy to report that their value has gone up in the last few years. When I bought the Favor print, it was in Hawaii on vacation with my friend Boat Girl. It was $800, and I was a broke-arse student. The guys let me buy it on layaway--I dutifully sent in my check every month for a year until the poster arrived in my mail one day. At last! Then I was too poor to have it framed properly, and Lance had it mounted and framed for my birthday one year. It hangs in our living room, and I love it just as much as I did 10 years ago. But now it's valued at $2100! Woo-hoo! A wise investment, and a great piece of art.

I'm definitely planning on visiting Mike Wolfe's shop next time I'm in Iowa. Here's to finding cool and weird junk in the most unexpected places. And to looking better than Richie Sambora.

It's Not That I Mind My Big Hair Per Se

But I do mind when I hit someone in the face with it during church. I literally whacked someone in the face with my hair. Just my hair.

I'm feeling a little Orphan Annie about this. On the upside, the sun will come out tomorrow--you can betcher' bottom dollar on it.

Ps--sorry to the lady I hit in the face.