Thursday, January 15, 2009

I suffer from Hypotrichosis


That means, according to real doctors, that I suffer from "inadequate or not enough lashes." There's a medical condition associated with my cruddy and puny lashes? Who knew??

I have the worst lashes. They're short, stubby, thin, and practically white. I look ill without mascara, and have tried all sorts of tricks to get big fat lashes.

Lance calls me 'Lil Whispy' but gets credit by following it up with the wonderfully fictitious statement "God gave you lil' whispies, because without them you would be perfect, and that's not fair to the rest of the world." What a load of junk, but I love when he says it.

I've resorted to temporary lash extensions to up the lash factor when I need it the most (weddings, reunions, photo shoots, etc) but then I heard about this: Prescription-strength Latisse.

Apparently, you swipe it on like magical mascara at night, and your lashes go from lil' whispies to long, lush, and dark lashes. PERMANENTLY.

The cost is slightly prohibitive at $150 a month. Obviously, I'm going to have to round up some sponsors. Any charitable hearts out there? Did I mention my 15 year reunion is this summer? 15 year means significantly upping the hotness ante from the 10 year. Please help me dazzle my friends (and foes) from Cedar Falls, Iowa. I'm practically begging. If I had long lashes, I would bat them coyly to help me be persuasive, but I don't, so this is what you get.

3 comments:

Hayley said...

i'll give you $1 & even pay for shipping to buy some fakes from eyes lips face. nobody will even know; well, except those reading your comments on your blog.

Veronica said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
teuscher travels said...

Lance should give lessons, many a man/boy could benefit.