"The Hotel is Totally Comparable to the Westin"

You know what time of year it is? Why, it's time for our 2nd annual GNO in San Francisco! We had so much fun last year, we decided to do it again. And, just like last year, we brought along a margarita maker and crockpot. Don't you bring along your home appliances to hotels? We do. And we also bring a *huge* tupperware tub full of muddy buddies.


On the way up to SF, we stopped in at Nipa Pon in San Mateo. We feasted on spring rolls, satay skewers, yellow curry, and honey chicken. All good bets. Don't be fooled by the hole in the wall appearance--it's top notch Thai fare.

We had scored a great online deal for the Westin. Upon check-in, however, they were "mysteriously" overbooked. However--they had an "excellent deal" for us, and wanted to send us to "a comparable boutique hotel" up the street. They would pay for the hotel room and even give us free cab vouchers. Score! They showed us pictures of the hotel, as shown below. Not too shabby, right??

We went for it. We hopped in a cab with the world's weirdest cabbie. He dropped us off at our amazing hotel.

See pics of actual hotel below.

Hey--this hotel is famous!! It's where the two redrum twins reside.

And here's a picture of the lovely room. Upon entering to inspect it, we heard a man next door eliminating some kind of waste from some kind of bodily orifice. That's all I'm saying. And doesn't this room look just like the one they promised??

This is Heather on her iphone, angrily looking up the number for the Westin. Throughout this whole ordeal, we are laughing hysterically. We can't imagine the Westin really thought we would buy the ruse about the hotel being comparable.

We headed down the stairs, and then saw the following. That was the last straw. Back to the freakin Westin. I draw the line at murdered bodies.

After we angrily explained the situation to the people at the desk (including mention of bodily functions) a room miraculously appeared for us. Time to bust out the margarita maker! Did I mention the pricey room and parking were now free??


I also learned my lesson from last year. The 4 quart crockpot was spacious for dipping, but too cumbersome to hide in a suitcase. Enter the Little Dipper. She did a fine job on the fondue front. This was followed by laughing, gossiping, and general giddiness until 5 am.

I have always wanted to take a picture jumping on the bed in matching pj's. That last bit was a bust, but we got a good action shot. I have to brag about my hair, though. It looks like flaxen gold.

And then we heard a snap. A loud snap. Our official story is that is was someone's ribs, and definitely not the bed.

Off to Sears Fine Food for brunch around 1pm. It was a long night. The ladies loved their plates, and mine was delish as well.

After brunch, we spent the rest of the afternoon in Union Square shopping. Sarah picked up some killer 7's, and I got a cheapie summer skirt.

Thanks for another night of delicious food, treats, fun, and serious laughs. We would also like to thank Lancer for sponsoring the transportation for our jaunt up to the city. We rolled straight up Benzi style.

Here's to next year ladies!!

The Genius Behind Ferris

John Hughes passed away today. His movies shaped my childhood and teen years, and taught me that it was wise to skip school, get detention/make out with bad boys, swear at car rental agents/wear shower rings as fashion statements, experiment with Barbie dolls if you can't get a real woman to date you, never underestimate the girl from the wrong side of the tracks--esp if she has sewing skills, don't put aftershave on a closely shorn cheek, and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, hold out for a hot guy with a red Porsche named Jake Ryan. Even though I de-throned Jake after 32 years, he was still one of my top teen dream guys.

Thank you, John Hughes, for stealing more Saturdays than I can remember by tricking me into watching your crap-tacular films over and over and over and over again. Lance can attest. Thank you for Molly Ringwald (and her famous 80's dance...the Molly Ringwald), Judd Nelson, Emilio Estevez, John Candy, Jake Ryan, Macaulay Culkin, Duckie Dale, Ally Sheedy, and Farmer Ted. Who turned out hot, BTW.

And can we talk about these movie soundtracks?? Spandau Ballet, OMD, The Thompson Twins, Simple Minds. Who doesn't see the detention gang running through the halls whenever you hear "Don't you....forget about me!!"

I shall honor the great man by sharing some of my favorite quotes of all time. Most of you won't get them, I'm sure, because for some reason I have no friends who appreciate pop culture as much as I do.

"I'm not really a farmer. I'm a freshman."

"He was wearing a red argyle sweater, and tan trousers, and red shoes... No, he's not retarded."

"I have a dance to go to at school. It's a very important dance... we're being graded on it for Gym."

"Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?"

"Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns."

"Those aren't pillows!!"

"When Cameron was in Egypt's land..let my Cameron go!"

"May I admire you again today?"

"His name is Blane? That's a major appliance, that's not a name!"

A few weeks ago I was on Facebook lamenting the fact that I should have been napping, but got sucked into Ferris Bueller--again. My friend Vickie commented that her husband didn't "get" the movie at all. "What's not to get?" I asked, "I love this movie." She summed it up perfectly well. "Of course you do, Kaari. You are Ferris Bueller."

Thanks JH. Not that it matters now, but Duckie was always the better choice.

A Letter for D-Dub

Dear D-Dub,

Why, oh freakin' why, is the NKOTB cruise going to the Bahamas again??? Didn't you get enough of that place last time? Do you have something against Mexico??

I sent you many a Tweets explaining that it would be tough for me to sucker Lance into sending me on a cruise departing from Florida. I could swing CA, but with the added expense and time, I just won't be able to make it. Obviously, you don't care. Just like you didn't care that I was waiting outside in the cold for you in SF all night. Burn.

I will now go and snuggle up in my comfy NKOTB sheets and cry myself to sleep. I will make sure the tears stain your face on the comforter so you can feel the pain you have caused me.

Love,
Kaari

PS...I sent Lance the link for the cruise tix in case he wants to 'surprise me' with tix. Hint-hint.

PSS...D-Dub. I'm not really mad.

PSSS...This just makes me even more intent on meeting you. I hope you know that.

PSSSS...That's not really my bed. But I assume you know that, too.

Mama's Joe

Growing up, my family called Manwich "Mamwich"...as in "yes, Ma'am, I'll have another sandwich." It wasn't until I got married that the error of my ways were pointed out. I always used this canned shortcut--fast, cheap, and easy--until I had some of my MIL's joe. It's sooo good, and we eat it day and night when we go to Utah for Christmas.

I like it so much I even humor her by placing a paper towel over the joe in the bowl every single time I heat some up. Lance has the cleanest parents on earth. It's a wonder they like me since I'm a sloppy-slopperson--I always end up with food on my face and clothing no matter how hard I try. I can't wait to have kids to blame it on--"um, yeah, Lil' Johnny sure is an oinker. Look at what he did to my shirt!"

Here's Bon-Bon's sloppy joe recipe. It's also fast and easy--try it next time. You won't be disappointed. We had it for dinner last night and lunch today. Nummy-nummy. I eat mine with plain old potato chips. Kids love it.

Bon-Bon's Sloppy Joe's

2 lbs lean ground beef, drained
1 can tomato soup--can use plain tomato sauce to make GF
1 chopped onion
3/4 cup catsup
1/2 cup brown sugar, or to taste. I like the full 1/2 cup.

2/3 cup water (scant)
2 TBSPS. red wine vinegar

2 TBSPS. Worchestershire Sauce, addl for use while browning onion and beef

1/2 to 3/4 tsp. salt or to taste

1/2 tsp. paprika
1 tsp. chili powder
Pepper to taste

Brown the ground beef and onion with some worchestershire until thoroughly cooked through. Stir in remaining ingredients, adding brown sugar last. Let simmer until thickened. If it's a little on the runny side, thicken it up with a little cornstarch. This recipe is gluten free. Also works well doubled and tripled--I served it 2 years ago at my cookie party, and it was g-o-n-e.

Don't forget Bon-Bon's Holiday Breakfast--another fam fave.

The Giant Camera

SF has many large-scale attractions. One is The Giant Camera, or if you're smart and fancy, Camera Obscura. It's literally a giant camera situated underneath the Cliff House, another SF landmark. It's the 3rd version of the Cliff--the other two were destroyed in fires.

Husbie and I decided to spend a day in the city, and go somewhere besides Union Square. A novel idea, yes?


The Giant Camera. Just like it says. No one was manning the place, and it was locked. We went into the gift shop and asked them what was up--they told us the guy in charge just doesn't show up on days when it's cloudy. Um....right. Have you ever been to SF? It's the Forks of CA. The Cullen fam could hide in the city year round. According to this logic, the Giant Camera is open approximately 5 days a year. We didn't get in--what a bust.

But we didn't fret long, we just moved along and scurried inside the Cliff House for lunch and warmth. I got the Crab Louis. Who needs a gigantic camera? I'll take a gigantic plate 'o' crab.

Lucky Lancer got the open-faced crab sandwich--their famous dish.

We enjoyed our lunches while sitting watching out over the ocean. I love this state.

Lj got to try the hot, eggy popovers. I got to eat the butter. Boo-not a tradeoff. He asked me to shove a bunch in my purse to take, but I'm no low-class, pack-mule, popover thief. I'm a classy lady.

Yeah right! Check out my nifty handywork below.

The "packed beach" on the "lovely" and "warm" July day.

Maybe it's this friendly sign? I know that makes me want to jump right in. What a way to mince words, City Department!

After freezing on the beach, we headed down to check out the Dutchie windmill in Golden Gate Park. How have I lived here for 15 years and never seen this thing? I went to school a few blocks away. Hmm.

Totally unrelated, but I'm very pleased with our plush landscaping. It's enjoyed the mild summer weather--all of the plants have really taken off. I can't believe how much they have grown in the past 3 years. Lancer does a wonderful job keeping the yard in tip-top shape. He has quite the green thumb.

These Boots Were Made for Eating

Back in our newlywed days, people would jokingly call us 'Nick and Jessica.' I was the curvy (yet chaste!) blond that can't sing, married to a hottie with spiky hair and a penchant for music.


This became less funny when they started fighting like crazy and got divorced. No one has mentioned it since. I sure hope my partying, ego, and dad don't drive us apart.


Ego and divorce aside, I have a body like Jessica--most of the time, this is a good thing. Lately, however, it's been a bad thing--for both of us. Even Tony Romo knows what's up. I miss when my Jess-like body looked more like this:

And less like this:

((Shudder))

I want to be Daisy Dukes Jess, not Unfortunate Chili Cookout Jess. As you all know, I can trick myself into working out if music is involved. I spent hours putting together my cardio mix, and several people have asked for it. So--here you go. It has a lot of techno and 80's. Make sure you get the 'edited' or 'radio edit' version if noted.

The Mostess Does Cardio:

Addicted to Love-Robert Palmer
Always on my Mind-Pet Shp Boys
And She Was-Talking Heads
Bad Reputation-Joan Jett
Blue Monday-New order
Cha-Cha Slide-Mr. C
The Choice is yours-Black Sheep
Close to Me-Cure--make sure you get the fast version, not the slow melodic one.
Dancing in the Dark-Springsteen
Dead Man's Party-Oingo Boingo
Devil Inside-Utada
Der Kommissar-After the Fire
Do You Love Me-The Countours (Dirty Dancing)
Down on the Corner-CCR
Drop it Like It's Hot-Snoop Dogg--EDITED
Electric Avenue-Eddy Grant
Enjoy the Silence-DM
Anything by Prince
Anything by Madoona
Eye of the Tiger-Survivor
Faster Kill Pussycat--Paul Oakenfold
Feels Good-Tony, Toni, Tone
Fly-Sugar Ray
Footloose-Kenny Loggins
The Funk Phenomena-Armand Van Helden
Gimme More-Britney Spears--EDITED
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun-Cyndi Lauper
Girls on Film-Duran Duran
Glory Days-Springsteen
Gold Digger-Kanye--EDITED
Gotta Get through This-Daniel Bedingfield
Groove is in the Heart-Dee-Lite
NKOTB-Hangin' Tough, Dirty Dancing, Twisted, One Song, the Right Stuff, 2 in the Morning, Summertime, Click-Click-Click, Cover Girl, Tonight
Heat of the Moment-Asia
Hip Hop Hooray-Naughty By Nature-EDITED
An Honest Mistake-The Bravery
Hot n Cold-Katy Perry-EDITED
Humpty Dance--Digital Underground--trash-tastic, but I love it. EDITED.
Hungry like the Wolf-Duran Duran
Hypnotize-Notorious BIG-EDITED
I'm Still Standing-Elton John
I Can't go for that-Hall and Oats
I Don't Wanna Go on with you like That-Elton John
I got a Man-Positive K
I Hate Myself for Loving You, I love Rock n Roll-Joan Jett
I Like the Way-Bodyrockers-EDITED
I Ran-Flock of Seagulls
Ice Ice Baby-Vanilla
It's Still Rock and Roll to Me-Billy Joel
It Takes Two-Rob Base/DJ Easy Rock
Jessie's Girl-Rick Springfield
Join in the Chant-Nitzer Ebb
Just Dance/Poker Face-Lady Gaga-EDITED
Let Me Think About It-Ida Corr vs. Fedde le Grande
Lips Like Sugar-Echo and the Bunnymen
Anything by Erasure--a few faves--A Little Respect, Oh l"Amour, Take a Chance on Me--anything off of Pop! 20 album
Livin on a Prayer-Bon Jovi
The Longest Time-Billy Joel
Love My Way-Psychedelic Furs
Love Will Tear us Apart-Joy Division
Low feat. T Pain-Flo Rida-EDITED
Mama Said Knock You Out-LL Cool J
Mirror in the Bathroom-English Beat
Money for Nothing-Dire Straits ( I want my MTV!!)
Mony Mony-Billy Idol
More than a Feeling-Boston
My Best Friend's Girl-Cars
My Life-Billy Joel
Now that We Found Loe-Heavy D and the Boyz
OPP-Naughty By Nature-EDITED
Ooh Wee-Mark Ronson/Ghostface Killah
Personal Jesus-DM
Proper Education-Eric Prydz vs. Floyd
Push It-Salt n Pepa
Put Your Hands Up-Fedde Le Grand
Ready, Steady Go-Paul Oakenfold
Rehab-Amy Winehouse
Relax-Mika
Rock you Like a Hurricane-Scorpions
Roll it Up-Crystal Method
Rush-Big Audio Dynamite
Save it for Later-English Beat
September-Earth Wind and Fire
Shiny Disco Balls-The Dj's of Euro Trance
Simply Irresistable-Robert Palmer
Smack That-Akon
Solar Twins-Rock the Casbah-from Brokedown Palace
Starry Eyed Surprise-Paul Oakenfold
Stop Me-Mark Ronson
Stronger-Kanye-EDITED
Summer of 69-Bryan Adams
Suppermassive Black Hole-Muse (Hi Eddie!)
Take me Home Tonight-Eddie Money
Tenderness-General Public
To Get Down-Timo Maas
Toxic-Britney Spears
Mickey-Toni Basil
Break Up Song-Greg Kihn Band
Bye, Bye, Bye-NSync
Rump Shaker-Wreckx-n-effect
Ditty-Paperboy
Zombie Nation-Kernkraft
No Diggity-Blackstreet
Born Slippy-Underworld
Tricky-Run DMC
Umbrella-Rihanna
Uptown Girl-Bill Joel
Vivrant Thing-A Tribe Called Quest---EDITED
Walk this Way-Run DMC
The Warrior-Patty Smyth
The Way I Are-Timbaland-EDITED
Welcome to the Jungle-GNR
Wehere's Your Head At--Basement Jaxx
Whip It-Divo
White Lines-Grandmaster Flash
Wild Thing-Ton Loc
Womanizer-Briney Spears
You're the One that I Want Megamix--Grease Soundtrack
867-5309/Jenny-Tommy Tutone
Day and Night-mix feat. Kid Cuddy-Cardio Workout Crew Album
Boom Boom Pow-Black Eyed Peas-EDITED
Anything by Fergie/Black Eyed Peas-EDITED

What are some of your fave workout songs??

Three Cheers for the Pioneers

This Pioneer child (woman)

sang (muttered under her breath) as she walked...

and walked...

and walked...

...dutifully pushing her heavy handcart across the plains (of Costco).

Truthfully, things could be worse. I could be in RS (that's not a challenge/invitation, mind you) but instead I get to throw parties for church. The last one was Pioneer Day. I actually don't mind the shopping--I have done this event 4 times now, and every time it gets better and easier. Know how you just show up with your salad and play corn toss? Let me show you what goes into it:

Shopping List for 125 people:

120 hamburger patties
16 veggies burgers (we live in CA!)
64 hot dogs
120 hamburger buns
64 hot dog buns
1 package of cheese containing 96 slices
2 containers of ketchup
1 container of mustard
1 container of relish
1 gallon of sliced pickles
Assign out burger toppings: lettuce, onions, tomatoes
2 24-lb bags of charcoal
1 container of lighter fluid
6 bags of ice
1 container of lemonade mix
Aluminum foil
Aluminum pans
Cups
Plates
Napkins
Silverware
Trash bags
Tape
Tablecloths
Paper Towels
Fire spark starter

You also have to bring: tongs, serving spoons, knives, cutting board, Pam Spray, grill brush, large whisk for lemonade, (2) 5 gallon jugs for water and lemonade, and a large cooler that could double as a little casket (thanks Leeflangs!)

We assign out the side dishes, salads, and desserts. We always get a good mix of things, and nobody got botulism. Bonus!

This year we held our picnic at Fairwood Park in Sunnyvale. It was great--nobody was there with us, so we had it all to ourselves. Lots of space, shade, and 2 play areas. I think it was a hit. Looking forward to next year!

Pretty Please??

Can all of my friends, family, loyal readers, and blog-stalkers (as long as you're not creepy) please refrain from the following for the next 10 months:

*Death

*Marriage

*Divorce

*Retirement

*Baby Having

*Party Throwing

*Anniversaries

*Birthdays

Why, you ask?? BECAUSE NKOTB WILL BE HAVING ANOTHER CRUISE IN 2010. May 14th-17th to be exact. So--if you insist on engaging in any of the aforementioned items, plan on excluding me if it's during those dates. Consider yourself warned.

I will not have another near miss!!

Time to start packing! I'm fairly certain I will need this and this and this. But not this. I have dignity.

Curious Dobbie

Dogface took a cue from this mischievous guy:

I was getting ready to enjoy my nanner last week when Dogface rolled up, intrigued. We wondered what he would do, so I let him go for it. He chopped that baby up with his teeth and sucked it down. It was gone in a minute. I was surprised at the gusto in which Dobbie ate it, but Lance reasoned "What's not to love? Bananas are a tasty tropical treat."