My Birthday Tour of Food

Maybe one day I will do an updated birthday list--but for my most recent readers, you can feast on THIS. Apparently, it was only read by two people, one being Ashley, and it was so long ago, I was prepping to teach her seminary class. You know that post is old, because I would never, ever, ever, ever be a sub for her. Ever. But I keep her around because she gives me kitchen counter spray.

I started out my birthday festivities with a trip to Benihana. Do you know they give you a FREE $30 gift card just for having a birthday? It's true. Sign up now to get in on this deal. I only spent $27 on my entree, so they actually paid me $3 to come and eat.

The food may be free, but the hat is priceless!

Our fun new friends were also celebrating a birthday, and also eating on the house. The kids had to sit on separate ends of the table to prevent tomfoolery. Their little boy sat next to a cute girl with a Jersey Shore-ish boyfriend. He kept making 'jokes' about how he was getting jealous of his girlfriend paying attention to their little boy. I think its safe to say Guido wasn't really kidding at all.

I like Benihana. It's the Cocktail of fake American Japanese food.

I would gladly be paid $3 to eat this again.

My Dad and his wife came to visit for the week. You may remember him as the man who convinced a Toys R Us employee that he was a serial killer. You may also remember him as the man who had nothing to steal (unless you love fossils and dried beans).

He rocked two looks on this trip: Unabomber and Bill Cosby.

You think I'm joking, but I'm not. I don't have photographic evidence of the Unabomber look, but let's just say he should be glad it's not the early 90's when the identity of the Unabomber was still unknown.

Here he is doing his best impression of Mr. Cosby. I feel like he should be extolling the virtues of pudding while dispensing valuable fatherly advice.

We spent one day at the aquarium, with B happily running from tank to tank. She loves the fishies.




I took Mr. Cosby and his wife Robyn to Sam's Chowder House. I recommended they each get a cup of chowder, and split the famous lobster roll. They did, and were very happy with my suggestion. We also got baby artichokes with a zesty garlic aioli dip. Delish!



One the way home from HMB, I badgered my friend into buying a high end, nearly brand new water dispenser from a store that was closing for a mere $30. It had hot, warm, and cold water features--plus a bonus mini fridge in the base! I hauled it out to my car, where it promptly started streaming water down my leg. I realized there was still water in the base, so I grabbed my gas funnel from the trunk, hit the spigot, and started emptying the base.

I realized, a bit too late, that it looked like I was peeing a steady stream into the parking lot. The owner of the shop I was parked in front of came out with a bewildered look on his face. He quickly realized I wasn't a pervert, and then kindly helped me load the water dispenser into my trunk. Hayley, you better love that thing. I publicly urinated in a parking lot for you!


I also took them to the tasty dive knows as The Falafel Drive-In on Stevens Creek in San Jose. It was features in DDD, so you know it's a certifiably delicious dive. This nutty bird demanded that I take her there for a gyro. I'm happy to oblige, though I stand by my assertion that the Pakistani place I chose in the past was both was tasty and delicious!

I chose Arka for my birthday dinner, and Ashley (of kitchen counter cleaning spray fame) watched B so we could all eat in peace. It was nice not leaving the restaurant with lentils in my hair.

We went home, and I opened all of the cards and packages I had received. I also ate a pint of Rocky Road because it was my birthday, and calories don't count.

OOF! Bad angle alert!! Turns out calories really do count, 365 days a year. Not that such a realization would stop my Tour of Birthday Food.

I also had dinner with my favorite girls at Xahn. That place is SO GOOD, and always delivers.

The next morning, I got up bright and early to do this. It was easily in the top 5 funniest things I've ever done, and I've done some funny stuff in my day. More on this later.

Later that night, we went back up to the city for dinner and a show. We went to Zadin with Team Gray. Kristine and I got our own plate of fried egg rolls and onion rings. The photos of us consuming them would likely not have been very ladylike. We never get fried food, so we dug in.



After dinner, we headed over to the Orpheum to see Jim Gaffigan. As always, he was hilarious. Hot PO-CKET! Watch it HERE if you're not familiar.

I snapped this picture for a few select people. If you saw it and laughed, it was for you. If not, congratulations on keeping up on popular culture.

The night ended up with a chocolate shake at Mel's, because calories also don't count on your birthday weekend, in addition to your actual birthday.

And that concludes my birthday weekend. Thanks to everyone who sent notes, cards, and gifts. I'm off to eat a Chicken Pot Pie Hot Pocket, which, as you know, is a Hot Pocket within a Hot Pocket. It's the only way to deal with turning 36.

Kidding! The only way to deal with turning 36 is with a bunch of presents--namely cute quilted flats from Michael Kors (I foresee a lot of walking in my near future), a massage, and a few other delights that will magically appear this weekend.