Lance/Napoleon: I think I found a new hobby today!
Me: Great! What is it?
Lance/Napoleon: Knife throwing!
Me: Um...
Lance/Napoleon: Yeah, I got this super sweet knife at the Army Surplus Store today. It was only $8! (whips out knife)
Me: What? Why?
Lance/Napoleon: Cause it's cool. I betcha Tyler will join me in my new hobby!
Me: Which one? Atwood, or Carter? I'm not certain either one will be tricked into participating in your new "hobby."
Lance/Napoleon: BOTH TYLERS!!
Me: Doubtful, sucka.
Lance/Napoleon: Think about it. It's a hobby, and a self defense mechanism. I can also use it to hunt foxes.
Me: Um....
Lance/Napoleon: Now I just need to build a post out of corkboard and plywood to throw my knife at. Where's your glue gun?
So, ladies. If you have a man with skills, send him my way, and our husbands can throw knives at a corkboard target together. And, if you're ever robbed by a mugger, or chased by a rabid fox, well--you will be in luck.
My personal take on the situation is that this newfound hobby will go the way of the dodo bird in a few weeks, just like my desire to sew waned when I realized it took patience and attention to detail. And like Lance's short lived career looking for hidden gold with his metal detector on the beaches of California during a short (but highly memorable) period of unemployment. I wish I were kidding on that one. Proof below.
The dusty and abandoned hobby of days gone by. Neglected by one Lance D. Jacobs.
So--which one of you will sending your husband my way? I need to know so I can out of the house, protecting my carotid artery.
6 comments:
This is hilarious, hopefully he found the glue gun! My take is that Tatty already can hit a fox at 20 paces and would join in but I cant read Carter, I want photo evidence if you get a group together. Maybe it can be a young mens activity? What parent wouldnt want their teenage son to fling knives for self defense?
And did he find gold? Maybe that is the key to homeownership when we get back!!
I am laughing out loud at the metal detector--are you freaking kidding me?!? LANCE combing the beaches for treasure?!? I can't wrap my brain around it; it's too fantastic. And why does Lance need to hunt foxes, he already caught one (ba dum bum). I would not have taken my Tyler for a knife thrower, but he did surprise me over Christmas by totally wanting to go shooting with my brothers. I'll send him over.
I am so there! It's been a while since I've hucked a knife, but I'm pretty sure I've still got it.
Oh, and as long as we're throwing knives, do you mind if we do axes too?
Well, I don't have much to say for myself re the MD; it was a dark time when childhood fantasies and extreme boredom got the best of me. The fox comment was for Kaari's benefit; once we had to leave camp Lehi early because a pack of small foxes - the size of medium-sized house cats terrified Kaari beyond belief. I figured if I could demonstrate my ability to kill on demand, I could coax her back up there. Also, what is there NOT to like about knife throwing?!
Tell Lance that Sam is on his way over. He just has to stop and buy his own knife first...
i'm a bit behind on checking my fave blogs, & this post is golden. just made my week.
when i got your text, i almost peed my pants laughing so hard.
i asked tat if he had anything to do with lance's new love & his response was this:
"he probably decided on knife throwing because he wants to find a hobby that will one-up my hobo stove craze."
though scared, i must say i'm super surprised it's taken lance this many years to take up recreational knife throwing.
best of luck.
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