In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. These are their stories.

I pay my taxes every year
I am a registered and active voter
I always update my current address with the DMV

And yet...

I CANNOT GET CALLED TO JURY DUTY TO SAVE MY LIFE.

Until now!

The letter came in its little, official envelope. My heart started pounding as I tore it open, trying to be cautious about my excitement. You see, I *did* get called to jury duty one other time in my 31 years of life. Same little envelope, same excited feelings..and then my world dropped out under me. It was for my former county, and moving had made me an unsuitable candidate for doling out sentences to alleged criminals living in San Mateo County. Bleh. Onward and upward to the alleged criminals dwelling in my new county. May your alleged crime need the expertise of a white, married 31 year old woman juror.


I don't know why everyone dreads jury duty. It's like Law and Order, but you get paid $40 a day and an hour for lunch (or so I hear...from my lame-A friends who probably cheat Uncle Sam, never vote, and let the DMV find them...) I get to call tomorrow night to find out if I will be called in for Tuesday morning. Wish me luck.

Also, it would be supa-fly if this gent showed up for my big day as well:

(Soundbyte--double gavel-crack...dun-dun!!)

Tricked Into Watching Jeepers Creepers...again!!!

So...I have a fairly lame confession to make. We're kind of addicted to watching the super-crappy teen slasher flick Jeepers Creepers.

Lance is convinced that they filmed the movie as they went along, which led to the choppy/super lame plot that's disjointed from the start. First, the demon drives his signature "devil's wagon" to scare people. Later on, he is revealed to be an ages-old creature that can fly. Wouldn't it just be freakier to spread his wings, bare his fangs, and pick people off the road with his claws? Don't even get me started about how he snags body parts.

Our real beef, however, is the fact that we have seen this movie a million times, and every single time it shows up on USA...we can't help but watch it. Why? Why? Why? No answer. Once again, it popped up on our TV right as we were getting ready to go to Stacks. We finally managed to break away after an hour, probably because our hunger won out...but just barely, I tell ya.

Donna Martin Graduates! Donna Martin Graduates!

I'm sure you've heard the rumors...and Perez says they're true. And what Perez sez goes. 90210 is being redone. So, it's like 90210....2.0. What do I have to do to get on that show? My acting skills are at least as good as Tori Spelling's. And I have experience onstage. I probably shouldn't mention my embarrassingly hasty departure from the stage when I got non-stop giggles while playing "Flute of The Loom" in 6th grade (caught on tape--please, please don't end up on Break. com). That aside, I am cooking up a way to make an appearance at the Peach Pit. I'm going to combine the following attributes, and create an unstoppable Beverly Hills Super-Character. That way, I'm always assured a spot at Nat's Counter:

1. Crazy, slap-worthy antics like Brenda

2. Sensitive, do-gooder feelings like Brandon

3. (Slightly) promiscuous behavior like Kelly

4. Brainiac study habits like Andrea

5. Brooding behavior like Dylan

6. Super-mullet like Steve

7. Gun twirling skills like Scott (haha..that wasn't very nice, but it sure was funny)

8. Nerd-to-chic capabilities like David

9. Virginal, doe-eyed looks like Donna. May be in conflict with #3. Hmm.

I'm pretty sure I can rock it, as long as I have Sander's snazzy do. Viva la Mullet!

Tasty Gluten-Free Goodies I'm Currently Digging

I stopped into the Taylor Family Foundation--http://www.ttff.org/-- a few weeks ago, and the oh-so-fabulous Elaine Taylor had a slew of GF goodies waiting just for me.

She busted out a GF Ding-Dong alternative by the name of Ring-Ding; they are made by Shabtai Gourmet. It turns out a Ding-Dong by any other name really is a Ding Dong. Waxy on the outside, slightly dry on the inside, fluffy & silky in the center....are you kidding me? More, please. Their GF brownies are also very rich, decadent, and tasty. They are super-fudgy.

I am also chowing down on Health Valley Rice and Corn Crunch-Ems. Like Chex, but I can eat them...so much better than Chex. Nothing better than a nice bowl of "Chex", covered with strawberries and ice-cold milk in the morning.

I was also happy to find S' Better corn dogs. Not that I eat them all that often...but occasionally I just want a corn dog. Nuff said.

Let me know if you have found any tasty new gems!

Miss Vickie is Getting Married...and I Get to Help!

My dear friend Vickie is getting married in June. I'm very excited for a couple of reasons. First--she is marrying the right guy. Second, she has waited *very* patiently for this day to come. Third--I get to help! I helped her pick out the invitations for her bridesmaids...here's the cute little rhyme we did for them:

Before I'm married and become a Misses...
Please be my bridesmaid, it's one of my wishes...
So much to plan for, such a big day
The temple, the kiss, and the bouquet…

My dress will be white, my hair all in curls
I simply must be accompanied by all of my girls!

Vickie would like to cordially invite you
to be one of her bridesmaids

Details and dress to follow….

I also get to help with the invitations for her bridesmaids brunch. These don't get their own little rhyme, but they do get the following super-cute stationery. I got them from The Inviting Company: http://www.invitingco.com/index.html

I also get to help out with her shower. Since she is getting married in June, we thought it would be great to do something bright and summery. We're going to do "citrus" themed shower...orange, yellow, and lime. Here are some inspirational pics from one of my favorite sites: http://www.hostesswiththemostess.com/

I also think these are super cute. They can be found at: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=9879294:

It will be a citrus wonderland...and I can hardly wait!

The Only Way Lance Can Get My Goat...

"Lance is detail-oriented". This could be the greatest understatement of all time. He has been known to bust out Q-Tips and toothbrushes in his quest for cleaning perfection. One time, he fashioned a small tube into a drainage canal for a flowerpot so the water would drain into the grass, and not leave a mark on the patio. As long as things are generally in their place, I could care less. Except for one thing: THE FREAKING WATER JUG. It's the only thing I care about, and Lance takes every opportunity to give me the ol' 1-2 when replacing it.

Here's how he leaves it:

Here's how I Change It:

On the funniness scale, Lance votes this jug rebellion as a loud "Yay!" Naturally, my vote is a resounding "Nay!"

My Name in Lights(ish)

My fashionable friend, Sarah Granger, asked if I would be interested in writing for her fun blog, SFBayStyle. I jumped at the chance, and am now featured in the "Who We Are" section as a contributing writer. I can see where this is going....I write unbelievably witty and insightful posts. I develop a devoted following.

I get to branch out and start my own column, ala Carrie Bradshaw (minus the bad judgement in men...Team Aiden!)

Next comes my book deal. My column has so much success that they develop a book, and it becomes the new "Great American Novel".

Naturally, I parlay this success into an amazing screenplay, which gets an Oscar nod. I will wear one of these fabulous frocks, courtesy of Vintageous Clothing. I haven't decided on which dress I will wear, but I have time.

This:

Or this:

Next stop--little gold man. Applications are currently being taken from those wishing to curry favor with me now. That way, you can say "I knew her when she was a mere blogger" and you can stay in my mansion.

5 Questions for God

CNN is reporting that kids playing in a field *may* have found D.B. Cooper's parachute. I can only hope. Ever since I saw the story as a kid on Unsolved Mysteries, I wanted to know what happened to the oh-so-mysterious D.B. Cooper. Did he survive the jump? Better yet, did the money survive the jump? If he's alive, where is he? Maybe he's living high on the hog in Palm Springs. The recent revelations about his parachute may have him shaking in his boots, wherever he is. Perhaps he is reading my blog? If so, please leave a comment, D.B. Your secret is safe with me.

This reminds me that I have 5 big questions for God. They are the following, in no particular order:

1. What happened to D.B. Cooper?

2. Who killed Jon Benet Ramsey?

3. Did OJ have an accomplice?

4. Did the Alcatraz escapees make it to land?

5. Was Marilyn Monroe killed by the Kennedy's?

I'm hoping I can distract God with my inquisitive nature, and skate on through the pearly gates while he explains the answers to the questions above. Not that I'm planning on sneaking through...this is just my back-up plan.

Heading for The Hills

Woo-hoo! It's the season premiere of The Hills tonight. I can hardly wait. I should be embarrassed, but I'm not. I'm all for Team Lauren, and proud of it. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, it's cool, we can still be friends. Besides, you probably like Speidi. Eew.

Team Speidi lovers...here's your lame-o team:

Hahaha...

E-A-S-T-E-R!

We had a fun little Easter. I got Husbie a basket filled with nice, practical goodies...miniatures for when he goes to the gym. Dobbie must have been a *very* good boy, because the Easter Bunny brought him his own basket. It had a cute little pair of bunny ears:

I made my yummy crockpot scalloped potatoes. It goes a little something like this:

Be lazy and use Cusinart to slice potatoes:

Layer fried onions and chopped ham in between the tasty potatoes:

Pour the creamy dairy over the top:

Cook on low for 6-7 hours...and then hork them down. Yummy!

We had a potluck with friends, which was nice. Minimal work, maximum food. Our friend Kristen brought a fabulous, 14 layer technicolor Jello salad. Lancer was intrigued and delighted by the bright salad:

Everyone loading up on their goodies:

The day was absolutely gorgeous, and we were able to enjoy our nice backyard:

Hoppy Easter Everyone!

My favorite party so far...and that's saying something!

Here are some pics from Lance's 80's Prom Party. It was a surprise for his big 4-0. Our friends were awesome...everyone dressed up and got their Wang Chung on!

Careless Whisper...

And while I'm at it...

Here are a few important things about me:

I love Pebbles

I love Martha Stewart:

I am a Celiac...which means I am allergic to gluten...which means I can't eat wheat, rye or barley...which means I have learned to get creative with my cooking!

I am happily married:

We had a short-lived modeling career...we posed as a "happily married

couple". We are now on the cover of the map of San Mateo, though we are wise enough to know it's the view, and not the drop-dead gorgeous models.

I'm from Iowa...

So far, I am only mom to a dog. I'm cool with that.

We have a cute little house that's all ours...

I'm kind of a party girl...in case you hadn't heard.

Yes, I've been on here since 2006...

Lance (delightful Husbie) wondered how I had so many page views (108 at last count) since I am just starting my blog. I had to fess up there was no secret Kaari fan-club--it was just me logging in and contemplating what to write. The good news is I'm not jumping on the bandwagon late in the game. The bad news is I've been slow and lame to get my blog started. In any case...here I am.