Blakely's Guardian Angel

With my overwhelming joy this week comes overwhelming loss. My sister Eriika, my only sibling, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on Sunday morning. She was 36, and had been afflicted with lupus since she was 23. It's a horrible disease, and I wouldn't wish the effects on anyone. I watched her health slowly deteriorate over the years, but never her spirit. She was a fighter, and was positive and upbeat up until the very end.

I'm struggling with mixed emotions. Great sadness and loss for me, but great happiness and relief that she is no longer suffering in a body that had turned on her long ago. Grief for the sister I lost, but peace knowing she is in a better place, happy and healthy again. She always said that when she died and was resurrected she wanted to be her 21 year old self. This is now how I picture her in my head now--happy, smiling, tan, tall, thin, and blond.

When I went back to Wisconsin for my family baby shower, she was in really bad health. But, like always, she managed it well. We stayed up late talking and even found the long lost videotapes from high school we had been searching for for years. We watched them until early in the morning, and I brought them home with me to transfer on to DVD's for us. These are great memories.

Eriika was so overjoyed about Blakely, and the happiness that she brought us in the short 2 weeks before she passed away. She loved that we named her after her, and loved the story about the duck pants. I have another duckie pair of pj's I bought in honor of her, and I know they will bring both smiles and tears to my face when B wears them.

I know she hung on longer than she should have to make sure that both Blakely and I were okay. Once she knew we were fine, she moved on. She's Blakely's own guardian angel--her namesake and beloved Aunt who loved her more than she will ever know. Eriika knew that the only way I would be able to cope with her loss was by having Blakely here with me, and she was right. I've held Blake a little closer since hearing the news, and it brings such joy to my heart.

Now she will on through all of the stories I will tell her down the line of Eriika, and all of our childhood (and adulthood) shenanigans. And shenanigans, there were. You can read some of our favorites here.

One interesting final note is that Eriika insisted I go overdue a week from my original due date, October 3rd so B would be born on 10/10/10 because it would be so cool. Given my state, I told her that was the meanest thing anyone had ever said to me, and broke the news to her that I was going a week early, not a week late.

Well, Eriika really did think that date was cool and significant because she passed away on 10/10/10.


Eriika--we love you and miss you. See you on the flip side.