Ain't Goin Down Till The Sun Comes Up

My Ultra-classy friend April has a birthday around the same time as me. A few months back we started talking about how it would be awesome to have a joint birthday party for all of our well-behaved, blue-blooded friends. Truly, our friends are second to none on the classiness scale. Very refined. Enjoy.

Nobody knows whose baby this is, but his shirt said 'I bet I git more action than you' on the back. If you are missing this kid, and you want him back, give me a jingle. If you don't, pretend you didn't read this.

Our tasty and healthy spread. We spared no expense.

The Roadkill Kafe. Tasty vittles guaranteed.

Redneck burgers: Krispy Kreme donuts, Velveeta cheese, and cocktail weiners. Yum.

My man. I do love him.

Our highbrow friends, the Kearls. The other unaccounted for baby. I like his outfit, though.

This stuff is best straight outta the can. I'm a lady.

Inger applying her Wet N Wild lipstick.

PS...I spent a few years in Kan-tucky. I have a UK shirt. Ouch.

PDA for the lovebirds. She hit him with her spatula when he suggested babymakin.

I also wanted to git some lovin from my man...in front of everyone...in a subtle and classy way.

Sarah and Alie lookin hot

The bathroom. I got a nice 'n' classy set of orange towels, and some lovely figurines. I thought it went well with the Irish Spring bar in the Hot Wheels soap holder.

The Globe for good reads.

Team Texas. As we all know, God blessed Texas.

Team Wine in a Box. They threw their twin rugrats in a closet at home to keep em busy.

Go Dale Jr!

Trashy Games. Yep, you guessed it. Fish-eye spitting contest. With real eyes. Taken from real fish heads. From the store. No, really. And Dobbie ate 2. Gag.

Kyle was the winner--he got a can of Double-Stuffed Chef Boyardee ravioli. LUCKY!! There was talk of him cheatin...but I ain't gonna judge him.

Maybe this is the baby's mom...

Welcome to the gun show ladies...welcome to the gun show.

Ewww...why do these people look so weird? They're all gross and trashy. I don't know who invites them to our classy affair.

We put on our special wigs to bring out our cakes. Hot, yes?? I look like Lita Ford. I'm so lucky!

Okay, so there's some explaining to do. This is April's cake. Yes, it's brown mousse. In a toilet. With a gross saying. Yes, people ate it. Yes, I kind of throw up in my mouth when I see these pics.

I did homemade gluten-free Twinkies for my cake. Always classy.

Don't look too closely, or ask what he's doing with his right hand

My classy friend (and almost bride!!) Jojo. Hey, that's a classy name! It rhymes with Ho-Ho. Whoo-whee!

This skanky redhead caused all sortsa problems for me. I was really trying hard not to get arrested on my big day, but then she went and got all up in my man's chicken business, and then we had some problems.

I got arrested by the Chicken Cop...on my birthday! Again!

But I got out of the cuffs, attacked the Chicken Cop, and then took off runnin...just like last year. And the year before. And the year before.

The it was time to deal with the skanky redhead that caused me to get in all sorts of trouble.

Then, I wondered what George W. Bush would do (Shout out to Texas and G-Dub!! Yee-hawww!!) and I figured he would want me to forgive her. So I did.

Then we had a good laugh about how I always get arrested on my birthdays. Weird.

But, then, April showed up and started causing problems for me again. Why does trouble follow me?

We had to take it outside to finish things up.

What a way to end yet another classy year. I hope next year I won't get arrested, and won't fight with April again, even though I beat her pansy butt cause she's a wimp from the North. Just sayin.