Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

It's official. I am divorcing the YMCA. Yes, once we were in love, and the Y was meeting all of my needs. Then the Y started deleting all of my favorite classes-I may or may not be referring to water aerobics.

Then I started changing. B is still taking 2 naps a day, and it's impossible to squeeze one in before, during or after her naps. She wakes up, we eat breakfast together, and then we head off for our daily morning adventures. After said adventures, we come home, eat lunch (occasionally chicken nuggets passed into the backseat) and then it's off to nap. Meanwhile, I'm homebound for the several hours while she naps. Forget a post dinnertime workout.

So here's my new plan of action

1. Break up with the Y.

2. Borrow my friends treadmill, as it's just taking up space in her garage. I can catch up on trashy shows while Little Lady Lance naps the afternoon away. Or after she goes down for the night. Win-Win!

3. Get my Jazz on again...at Jazzercise! Since I had B, a new studio opened up, and they have an afternoon class twice a week that offers childcare, and happens to be a mile from my house. Score!

4. Bust out the jogger, and hit the trails now that it's fall, and the weather is cooler.

The only thing I'm worried about is the latest Jazzercise gimmick--they show up and do flash mob dances in unexpected places. See the ladies in action at our beloved Santana Row! Since I will be a star dancer, I'm sure they'll expect me to lead one of these, and I'll have to come up with a clever excuse. Or disguise.

The worst part is that I convinced all of my friends that the Y was great, and they all joined. So many friends, in fact, that they promised to send me a Target giftcard as a thanks for referring my entire circle of friends to them, and they never paid up! YMCA, it's you, not me! You're cheap and unaccommodating. You may have all of my friends, but you shall never have me again!

Heroes VS Villains

We had our annual Halloween party last night. It was a much smaller event than usual, but you won't hear any complaints from me on that front.

I was raring and ready to go as a villain. But then Lancer came up the genius idea to be the GREAT AMERICAN HERO Sully Sullenberger.

And what kind of wife would I be if I left the greatest pilot alive to land a plane in the Hudson all by himself? Presenting...Sully, and his trusty flight attendant! Totally heroic!


We pulled it off. Extra props to us for use of flight wings and fake mustaches. The best part was when Lance threatened to grow a mustache again, and I got to remind him about the last time he grew facial hair. He grew a fu man chu in Germany, and emboldened by his new stache, decided to do karate kicks and jumps in the mirror. He ended up kicking the bureau in the room, and hurting his leg. I think Bruce Lee was in on that.

The PDR of my costume was my sensible, no nonsense nude pantyhose. I wore them to church today to bring on the giggles, but I ended up sequestered in Primary, and nobody saw them. Plus I was super hot (not in a sexy way) and they had a run. Sheer Energy got the last laugh.

We had the usual cast of characters at the party:

My lovely co-hostess. She is a tiny woman in a large costume!

Villains!! I would be lying if I said I knew who Tim was.

2 villains, and one hero. Hey--Tyler stole my patented arm pose! I object. It does look nice, though.






I LOVE Inger's costume. Her barking dalmatian stole came with a disclaimer stating that it wasn't from a real dog. You don't say.

These two! They are a one trick pony with their poses. Awesome costumes, though! I think Ashley won for best female hero, and Tyler tied with Lance for best male hero.

April came up with crazy gross things for people to eat and drink. They pulled some truly awesome faces.

This crew had to drink bright green slime. They were all thoroughly grossed out.

And on that note, I bid you goodnight. Thanks for another great party! Happy Halloween!

My Victory Lap

I'm no braggart. Just kidding--I totally am! It was a battle worth fighting for. You can read Ashley's hilarious concession speech here.

I haven't fought this hard for a title since I won Camp Queen in 1988. What's that, you say? Your Girls Camps didn't have a pageant? I pity the fool who didn't go to Girls Camp in the south. They have pageants for everything. My talent was fighting off mosquitos, and I wore a ballgown made from tablecloths and tissue paper. My virtue was Divine Nature, and my parting line was "I represent divine nature because I'm simply divine." I stole the show, and won the crowd. God bless Kentucky!

On a roll from my recent win, I was totally convinced that Lady Luck was on my side, and bought a raffle ticket for the "Have lunch with Donnie and Mark Wahlberg in Boston at the opening of their new burger joint Wahlburgers." Unfortunately for me--but fortunately for Donnie--I lost. The worst part is the chick who won is from NYC, and could simply hang out at the restaurant all day and night, and just casually run into Donnie anytime. Being a West Coast gal, I'm not afforded this option. I'm sure at some point Lance would notice that I was missing. Probably when he came home, and was greeted with silence when he asked "what's for deener" in his fake French accent.

So my win has been balanced with a devastating loss, which means order has been restored, and Round Three of the Display-Off--Bountiful Harvest--is up for grabs. Until I snatch up that title from Ashley, of course, and she begs for a Ho-Ho-Holiday Extravaganza, and a chance to even the score. Lemme guess--Hooty in a Santa hat. Sigh.

Uesugi Farms

We headed down to Uesugi Farms for some pumpkin patch fun. It's mid-October...but it was HOT. The kids were sweaty, and the adults were red faced. Don't judge. We looked better when we left the house.

B had a great time...eating hay. Hay is the sand of the fall season. Beezie finds it delish and oh-so-tempting.



B turned into a dirty farm girl in less than 2 minutes. Hay on the knees and buns, dirt under the nails. She gets down n dirty. She's my lil' pigpen!

The twinners and Braden had a ball with B. She has no clue she's an only (so far) child. That's not a pregnancy announcement (Ashley!)

Ryan came along to give her butt a little pat. Nice work, Ryan! He was probably trying to dust her off. He's a nice, clean little boy.

We rode trains

And Cow Trains

And Hayrides

And Carousel Rides

And wheelbarrow rides


The hayrides had some amazing views--the farm is absolutely gorgeous this time of year!

This is their world-famous pumpkin pyramid.

We weighed B, and she won first place. Let's hope the trend continues, and I take the Spooktacular Spectacular! (Voting ends tomorrow. Cast your vote for your favorite display!)

We also played in the corn

After a nice long day of fall fun, the babies served us up with this...

....and that was our cue to head home. Until next year!