It's been a rough week in the sick department here at Team Jacobs. Lance and I both came down with gnarly colds two weekends ago. Lancer had to fly to PDX last Monday night, and that resulted in a burst eardrum. No more flying. He had to take a train home.
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"Trains" to us mean delightful Euro trains. Amtrack ain't European. In fact, according to Lance, it's barely a step up from Greyhound. Lesson learned--do not fly when you are sick. Unless you get "super sick" on a flight to NYC, happen to have your lovely wife with you, and have to remain grounded in Manhattan for a week while your ears recover. That sounds terrible.
Lancer--in better times. Germany to be exact. Oh, how I miss Europe!
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We are no longer candidates for carbon monoxide poisoning. And by that I mean we got a brand spanking new furnace....against our will.
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Since we were doing the heat, we decided to get a quote for air conditioning. I have no idea where my varied readers live, but air conditioning is a hot (pardon the pun) commodity in the Bay Area. It's a luxury that most people don't have. We've been in our little abode for 7 years now, and every summer we sweat and suffer through a few heatwaves. Well, folks, the suffering has come to an end. We decided to toss in a new A/C unit. Hallelujah.
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My dream come true
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My new favorite show is Homeland. It features an American hero who may be anything but. It stars the lovely Claire Danes as a savvy but half crazy agent, who's a bit of a loose cannon. She cries a lot.
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You don't have to read when you're this hot!
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Speaking of delicious. How tasty is Starbucks' salted caramel mocha??
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Where have they been my whole life?? I love these things. They have Daily Multi-Vitamins, Vitamin C, Calcium, Pre-Natals (not an announcement) and even fiber! I gobble these babies up, and pretend that I'm suffering for my health. Don't be fooled. They're delicious! Well, the calcium ones have kind of a creepy sugar coating, and the grape ones taste like crap, but they're still better than drinking milk all day. Unless it's hidden in a Starbucks Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate, of course.
Safeway Home Delivery
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Moving on to celebrities.
Christina Auguleria. Look--I had a kid, and the weight is hard to keep off. I feel you. However--I would suggest not parading around in weird bandage dresses and sparkly leotards. It's not a good look.
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Jlo. You have the worst taste in men. The worst! This guy is a 24 year old backup dancer.
How did that turn out for you the first time?? Oh, right. Paging Chris Judd.
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Kim. Oh, Kim.
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I'm going to give you a break because I feel like I hastily broke up with The YMCA without thinking through the repercussions. Whoopsies. Jazzercise was awesome, but the childcare is really meant for school aged kids doing homework, not for nutty babies. It sucks because I love it. The teacher even sent me a postcard telling me I was a great dancer. Doi! Sadly, I may be crawling back to the Y. But you better bet your biddy I'll be demanding my $50 referral for Target either way! Just kidding about the break, Kim. You're a stupid skankwad.
Demi and Ashton. Sigh.He's a skeez. She turned a blind eye. The only real question I have is who told her that this wedding "dress" looked good? It was doomed from the start. Neckerchiefs never lead to anything good. Trust me on this one. I speak from experience in the 90's.
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11 comments:
wow, i am so behind in the blog-world!
hooty post: so sweet. yes, AC is such a great friend. alie reffered to her as mother teresa the other day. yes, Ashley is the new & improved mother teresa, always out doing good & making the world a better place.
twi-posts: LOVE the decorated wall & beez in an eddie shirt. curses to 3 am refreshing your cold :( when i was awake at 2am with baby, i thought of you crazy-heads out having a party, while i was sluggishly nursing a baby to sister wives in the background.
mash-up post: hahaha! christina, jLo, neckerchief...all good material. hope you & lance are off the dayquil, colds bite. safeway $3 delivery?!?! i'm home with nappers all day anyway, may as well get my shopping done! then maybe i won't have a concerned granny at the store yelling at linc, "now sonny! get in or out of the cart but you have to stop bouncing around!" i guess granny's have never had contact with 2 year old boys before?
now i'm the rambler. over all, great posts.
hold the phone! i forgot to comment on the most breaking news...AIR CONDITIONING!!!
tis true, you definitely are NOT a commoner.
Burst ear drum!!! Oh poor Lancers! When he's better, come over and we'll burst it the right way with my Sumo 300 amp on full! I have earplugs and noise cancelling headphones for B.
And - it must be you because HSCHC is my FAVORITE drink and they always get it right for me. XXOO
This was the most entertaining post. Seriously. Poor Lance for having to take the train home. And I am going to start ordering from Safeway online. Except that I'm never home to receive the deliveries. I'm assuming the deliver on Saturdays. Evenings? I'll have to check.
The eardrum thing sounds miserable..that is why I don't fly without benadryl..that and I like to go into a coma in the air.
Congrats on the new heater and a/c. I am such a fan of cranking both in the applicable seasons..I am not one for restraint. But who wants to be hot or cold in their own home?
I thought JLo was dating Bradley Cooper and I am a fan of him though I think his sexiest man alive title is debatable while George, Hugh and Brad are still kicking..but he is much better than those back up dancers.
Ashton is soooo sleazy. Poor Demi.
That is really awful about Lance and the popped eardrum!
I have discovered the home delivery shop online grocery "thing" this year and it has saved my sanity. I could not love it more.
I love your celebrity observations!
So much to say as I'm laughing over here at this hodge-podge of information...but it can all be summed up in four words...
Kaari, I love you:).
Nice pic of Steve-o! The vit c gummies are good, btw. You have fly dance moves.
This whole thing had me laughing, especially the part about the Starbucks. I am all for a good boycott esp when it is well-deserved as it is in this case. But it's true--you alone are powerless to bring down the powerhouse that is Starbucks. But they should give you a free one for everyone they get wrong or something!
I LOVE gummi vites! During my pregnancy I ditched regular pre-natal pills and downed gummies instead. I too have those calcium ones and am so glad you dislike them too. The other night I was eating them and felt sick--like pre-natal sick they were so gross. (And I am not pre-natal.)
I've wondered the same thing about Christina and also her teen sensation counterpart Britney. I don't know if you've seen some of the photos of the lapdances Britney loves to give, but she's not lookin' so hot, either.
PS--your line about jordan catalano was perfect!
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