Rock-a-Hula Baby

I thought my 34th birthday would be a great opportunity to eat some kalua pork and do the limbo. What better way to do this than have a luau? Time to rock-a-hula, baby!

Edward was kind enough to stop by and hand out leis. I was hoping he might get a tan, but, alas, he just sparkled.

The weather was pure perfection--highly cooperative. We got the backyard all decked out with cheesy decorations and tiki torches.

Whoa, whoa...what's this guy doing in our girl pic?? Just kidding, Tyler. You put on a cheesy lei, so you remain in my good graces.

The party peeps

I especially like this picture, because it shows my beach baby bump!

We had quite the crowd--over 60 people. It was wild, especially with 25 of those 60 people being kids.

Dobbie was in kid/food thieving heaven. He also tried to eat the decorations. Oh, furry baby.

Our dear friend Alyssa had to miss the party to have her gallbladder removed. These are our sad faces for her. Oh, wait, Sharla looks quite happy. At least I look sad.

With J-Bird

On to the food--oh, the food. So very tasty.

If you make this, you will want to run the crockpots in the garage. The liquid smoke permeates the air for hours on end, and your house will smell for days.


Here are the recipes for the luau--I planned on serving about 60 people if you want to know the quantities.

Kalua pork in the crockpot: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Kalua-Pig-in-a-Slow-Cooker/Detail.aspx

Hawaiian style coleslaw: http://lotsofinfo.tripod.com/S10wonderfulovernightslaw.htm


Pina Colada Salad: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Pina-Colada-Salad/Detail.aspx#

Tropical Punch: http://lotsofinfo.tripod.com/xB18tropicpunch.htm

I also served sticky rice, and chips and mango salsa. Coconut macaroons for dessert.

I had beachy tunes spinning all night as well. Here is my Rock-a-Hula Playlist from the evening:

The Mostess Does Rock-a-Hula

Wipeout-Surfaris
Surfin USA-Beach Boys
The Tide is High--Blondie
Hot Hot Hot--Buster Poindexter
La Bamba--Don Ho
Blue Hawaii---Elvis
Calhoun Surf--Los Straitjackets
Good Vibrations--Beach Boys
Rock a Hula Baby--Elvis
Mambo Number Five--Lou Bega
Montego Bay--Fredddie Notes
Surfer Girl--Beach Boys
Bang on the Drum All Day--Todd Rundgren
Iko Iko--Dixie Cups
Kokomo/California Girls--Beach Boys
Day-O--Harry Belafonte
Cheeseburger in Paradise/Margaritaville--Jimmy Buffett
Rock Lobster--B-52's
Surfer Girl--Beach Boys
I Can See Clearly Now--Jimmy Cliff
E Le Ka Lei Lei--Don Ho
Copacabana--Barry Manilow
Chica Alborotada/Pascifica--Los Straitjackets
Tequila Sunrise--The Champs
Hawaii 5-0--The Ventures
Hula Hula--Glen Honeycutt
Lovesong--311
KU U I Po--Elvis
Red Red Win--UB40 or Steel Drum Band
Oh What a Night--Four Seasons
Jammin--Bob Marley

Thanks to everyone who came out! Many apologies if your kid is the one Lance yelled "hey, kids--get out of here...and don't come back!!" In his defense, they were rifling through his closet. Hang ten, peeps!

After that excitement, we decided to unwind with a day in Tiburon. Again, the weather was cooperative, and the bay was in tip top shape.

I started out the day rockin the Bump-It Tinger gave me for my birthday. Lovely, yes?

After I pulled that heinous hair appliance out, we hit the road and made our way across the bridge.

Unbeknownst to us, it was Opening Day on the Bay, which is the official start to the SF sailing season.

It was mostly awesome, but it brought out guido's galore--hello Jersey Shore! Please do not wear man jewelry on the open water. We do NOT approve of such things in California.

I had a delicious curry chicken salad that was quite tasty. I had my heart set on a crab stack, but the crowds had cleaned out all of the seafood before we arrived. Boo.

After lunch, we walked along the water, and checked out this cool old church from the 1800's.


For my actual birthday, we stayed classy and went to Outback Steakhouse, where I promptly ordered a ginorm plate of King crab legs. They were so tasty.


One of the reasons I love this fake Australian restaurant is because they have a gluten-free brownie sundae on their menu that is so delicious. Plus, it prevented me from having to bake my own cake, and I'm short on time and energy these days. Win-win.

After dinner, we headed home to open presents. Lance was quite creative in his "wrapping" this year--it included a sheet over a stack of presents. He would ask me "small, medium or big?" and I would answer. Then he would whip the sheet off the stack and yell "Viola!!" before presenting me with the unwrapped giftie. It worked--we're tired people.

Lance, a true Magic Man

Lancer forgot that he got one of the gifts wrapped by the company--he was mad when I opened the box to find the cute wrapping.

He did very well in the gifting department. Here's this year's booty:

Those weird Skecher's shoes that firm up your booty and legs

An ultrasonic jewelry cleaner--also good for watches and glasses. I'm so excited about this--I'm old.

A prenatal massage, much needed, greatly appreciated

And my favorite gift of all--the retro red stainless steel cooler for my outdoor parties!! I have been looking for this baby for 2 years now. I'm so glad I found it, and that it's currently sitting in my living room waiting to be assembled. Hint-hint.

I also planned a dinner in SF with my friends @ Zadin, this amazing gluten-free Vietnamese place. It's the only place I can order friend eggrolls, calamari, and onion rings. This is a big deal to me, especially during a birthday week.

We were also celebrating the engagement of my adorable friend, Mallory. Congrats, girl! We love you, and your cute boy, even if you were super cheesy at my Halloween party last year!

We all took pictures of us wearing her ring. The real deal is in the middle.


After dinner, we sauntered down to Bi-Rite for some salted carmel ice-cream. One quart, 4 spoons, 4 happy girls.

Thanks to everyone for the wonderful birthday celebrations!! Especially the kids that got yelled at, and the guidos who made me never want to visit that other coast. 34 is shaping up to be quite a year!

Is anyone even still reading this? This is the longest post in the history of posts.

She's Not Heavy--She's my Sister

My older (and formerly rotten) sister Eriika just turned 36. Here are 36 reasons why I'm glad we're related.

1. When we were little, we fancied ourselves as pioneers, and frequently played Little House on the Prairie. We were so excited when we got these matching red nightgowns with matching bonnets. Knowing her, she was probably Laura, and I was probably blind Mary.


2. She was extremely bossy. Because she's 2 years and 8 days older, SHE always reigned supreme. If I wanted to play school, she always got to play the teacher, and I had to be the lowly student.


3. One time, at the local pool, we were playing an underwater counting game where we would hold our breath until the count of 10, and then we would spring out of the water in unison (we lived in Iowa...we were bored, okay??) I counted to 10 and shot up like a rocket. Apparently, I counted too fast, and I came up under her chin, causing her to bite through her lip. It required stitches. Oops.

4. We each had Cabbage Patch Kids that were treated like our own flesh and blood. We took them everywhere we went, and spent our paltry allowances on garage sales baby clothes for them. We took a bajillion pictures of them over the years--most were crappy Polaroids that looked like this little gem.


5. As kids, we weren't allowed to eat any sugar or white flour. When our mom napped, we tore azz on our bikes down to the local McD's for burgers. Then we hopped back on our bikes, eating the burgers as we furiously pedaled uphill, discarding the wrappers on the road so there would be no evidence. We also stuffed our pants, jackets, purses, and socks with candy from 7-11 and smuggled them into the house.

6. She's also a NKOTB fan. Their Lexington concert was our first concert together. Eriika had been friends with this dumb girl named Angela, and invited her to the concert. They had a fallout at Strolling Strings Camp (violin camp...not kidding) and didn't talk for months. The night before the concert, Angela called to find out the plan, and Eriika told he she was un-invited. Coldhearted. The following picture is awesome because it captures both her large hair *and* the original NKOTB poster on my wall above her head. Long live the block!


7. We went through an unfortunate Laura Ashley phase.

8. We come from a long line of big, blond hair.



9. Her first car was a super sweet white Mustang. When she was freeway flirting, she wasn't paying attention and crashed into the back of a parked moving van. To cover up her negligence, she changed the story to one where she was being pursued by "ugly boys who wouldn't leave her alone." In her attempts to flee their unwanted advances, she crashed into the van. Our parents bought this drivel hook, line and sinker.


10. Once the car was repaired, we crashed it together, but this one left no evidence. We somehow convinced our parents to let us drive separately to church. We left early so we could squeeze in a Mcd's stop along the way, but we spun out on the way home and landed in a ditch. She only had real wheel drive, and the wheels just spun. We somehow managed to get some traction, and got ourselves out of the ditch.

11. Dirty Dancing was the first PG-13 movie we ever saw. Eriika showed it at her slumber party, and I watched it from the stairs because I was 11. We still know every word to Dirty Dancing and Grease.

12. When our favorite cousin Bruce was visiting, my sister got sassy. Our mom told her to go do something, and she told our mom to "stick it." That didn't end well for her.

13. Her face in this picture pretty much sums up our relationship for many years.


14. But we also had a lot of fun and happy times as little rascals



15. When she was a senior in HS, she entered a pageant. Her violin solo was okay, but she blew the Q & A portion. She got a case of the nerves and flubbed her line. At one point, I thought she was going to barf or faint. This was my crowning achievement of the year.


16. When we were little, we were very studious--voracious readers. We always won the library summer reading challenge. One year, we decided to organize our books by creating our own library in the basement, complete with a dewey decimal system created along the book bridge with masking tape. Our parents were not impressed.


17. Eriika was not only bossy, she was mean and always on the attack. I fell prey to her physical prowess until I created a patented, signature move: the windmill. As Eriika approached, I began swinging my arms wildly in a windmill motion. By the time I reached her, I would pummel her from the left, then the right, then the left...until she retreated. It was awesome.

18. I still call her Coily Head--an homage to her short, curly hairdo. She still calls me Shrump Crump, and homage to my horrible 80's claw bangs.

19. Speaking of said short, curly hairdo--here's a picture. Our mom talked her into hacking off her hair into a short style. The selling point was that, in the morning, she could just "wash, pick, and go." We still use this phrase in our house to bug our mom.

That's "wash, pick and go" on the right. It's a solid look, especially with those glasses.

20. Because our mom dashed our dewey decimal dreams, we spent a lot of time at the library. On the way home, Eriika leaned over the front handlebars, and her bookbag got caught in the spokes of her bike. She flipped over the front and hit her head on a curb. She got a concussion, and was picked up by kind strangers and dropped off at our home. We never knew who the kind folks were.

21. In elementary school, it was in vogue to have a retainer or braces. I had perfectly straight teeth, and I wanted a retainer so badly. Eriika had a jacked up grill, so I borrowed her retainer one day to show off @ school. When I went to put it back at the end of the day, it was missing. 3 weeks went by, and as I was walking home from school, I spied it on the grass of a neighbor's house. I ran home and suck it in the end of a toy trumpet, and let her find it a day or two later. Did I mention I didn't wash it?? She never suspected a thing.


22. At our Ward Talent Show, she played Ice Castles on the piano. Our friend Valerie played a Boy George song on her Casio, and our mom told us she thought that was inappropriate.

23. Before flat-irons, Eriika relied on me to blow out and straighten her hair. Before a big dance, I asked to borrow a dress she wasn't wearing, and she refused. So I refused to do her hair. She wouldn't budge on the dress, and I wouldn't budge on the blowout. I went to the dance with an ugly dress, and she went with a fro. It was lose-lose.


24. She was loud and mouthy according to our parents. She slammed her bedroom door so many times, my dad took her door off the hinges for a month.

25. Before people had video cameras, our parents would do audio recordings every Sunday. As Eriika was taping her portion, I ran up and bit her. She screamed "Aghh! She bit me! Beat her up, daddy..beat her up!" Then you hear my cackle as I happily ran off. Heh-heh.


26. We were serious Nintendo freaks back in the day.



27. One night, we had a weird competition. We put on 20 layers of clothes, including a robe, and then loaded up on socks. We then tied our shoes on, and saw who could last the longest. We started losing circulation in our toes, and called it a tie.

28. We spent a large portion of our childhood acting out the "Material Girl" and "Uptown Girl" videos. We were MTV freaks.


29. I spent many a night on a crappy futon in her room so we could stay up late and talk.



30. After all, she had an awesome black, red and white 80's room. Note Patrick Swayze and Kirk Cameron on her wall.


31. When she was on one of the many breaks from her HS boyfriend, she started dating a hot guy IN MY GRADE. Lame to the max.

32. I got even with her when I made out with her childhood love, Eddie. If you mention his name, she still gets mad. Bonus: he was still hot!

33. I was happy to ship her off to college. This is her senior picture--she was quite serious.


34. I didn't really like her until I went and visited her in college. Magically, we got along great and had a good time. Instantly, we became close, and have been close ever since.


35. Every Christmas and birthday, we write salty notes and names on cards. Our standard is always "KKBWLAH" which stands for "knock-kneed-bimbo-walkin-like-a-ho" from Baby Got Back. Classy.

36. I couldn't ask for a better sister, and I know she will be an excellent Aunt to Zyggi.

Happy birthday, sis. I love you, you crazy Coily Head!