To All the Ladies of the 80's

Our friend Joe just got a new job. Never one to shy away from legit or less-than-legit reasons to go dancing, I hauled it up to SF to hang with Joe and the ladies to celebrate. Basically, your Grandma's friend Edna could have her gall bladder removed, and if there's dancing involved, I'd celebrate it. I could dance all night every night if left to my own devices. I'm kind of a freak that way. Lancer was supposed to join us, but he was too tired. Next time!

We started out as demure ladies at Club Deluxe on the Haight:


And then let our big hair down at Cat Club for "1984" night...all the good stuff from the 80's. The back room is all "alternative" music from a time when that actually meant something. The front room is all the mainstream stuff. We like to bounce between the rooms, especially when the weirdos start congregating in the back room. I'll spare you the deets. Next time I will try and take a photo--truly worth a thousand words.

We bounced to the front of the club and danced on the stage. The cage would have made for *hi-larious* pictures, but a hot mess of a drag queen wouldn't get out. We settled. Only in San Francisco, I tell you.

As we left the club (2 hours and hopefully 3 pounds later) there was some dude who is my new best friend serving up hotdogs wrapped in bacon and smothered in grilled onions, ketchup, mustard, mayo and jalapeno peppers. This seems like an AWESOME idea at 1 am. Less so at 7 am. Ugh. Turns out that guy may actually be my mortal enemy. I've been shopping for a new one since the ol' ball n chain told me I was "too old" to have one, and this guy is a frontrunner.

Here's to another great night out on the town with you ladies! Oh, right..and congrats to Joe for his new job. Let us know when you have your" first day" so we can go dancing for that too!

Putting Magellan to Shame

Lance and I are quite the world travelers. This wasn't always the case. The first time we went to Europe, we didn't know anything. We brought crap shoes, crap coats, no guide, no snacks, no medications and no sleeping pills. And we ate crap food and stayed in crap hotels. London was fab in many ways, but that trip was not great for all the aforementioned reasons.

We made a list of all the reasons that trip sucked, and have made up for it since. Here are the hard lessons we learned.

Murphy's pesky law is in full effect. If you don't bring Band-Aids, you will get blisters. If you skimp on the Pepto, you are guaranteed to have a horrible bellyache. If you don't bring Excedrin, you will be cursed with migraines. Now I bring "The Family Pharmacy" along and we hardly ever have to dip into it.

We buy and read guides for the country we're going to visit. This also has great food, shopping, sightseeing and hotel recommendations. Buy it, read it, use it. Your visit will be amazing. We used one to find the best food in France and it did not disappoint. See my travel bag? It's a Baggelini. I love that sucker. It's been all over Europe. You should never, ever bring a regular purse.

Snackies. Europeans know nothing of convenience stores. If you get hungry at midnight, you will starve until the next morning. I always bring nuts, jerky, chips, powerbars, trail mix, dried fruit, fruit bars, and candy. It's a lifesaver.

Good footwear. I just picked up these Hunter wellies, which I love because the forecast is a little wet and rainy. I feel so British. We're also a fan of Keen shoes--I have 2 pairs, and they have logged hundreds of miles across Europe.

A good jacket. It needs to withstand wind, cold, and rain. I got this at the North Face outlet in Berkeley. I AM NEVER GOING TO SHOP AT REI AGAIN. I got 2 jackets and a pair of gloves for under $300. This jacket alone was supposed to be over $300!

Books and magazines. I go for trashy, mindless reads. I'm sure War and Peace is great, but I'm not reading that on vacay.

Ipod. How did we survive before these babies??
Ambien CR. The best drug ever. Takes care of jet-lag and ensures a nice, restful night in the Land of Nod.


I'm so excited about Germany. Lance and I both (weirdly) took German in HS when everyone else was taking French and Spanish, and I've been wanting to go ever since. I'm looking forward to the sights, hotels, food and the boat trip on the Rhein. And, best of all, I'm excited for 2 weeks straight with Lancer.

I will post pics when we get back. Tchüss!

For The Love of Twilight Moms All Over

My super-awesome Twi-hard friend Alyssa invited me to a Borders Twilight DVD Midnight Release Party. Um, yes, please. Though I'm afraid having Edward..er, Twilight on demand 24/7 may negatively impact my social life and career as it will become hard to leave the confines of my sofa. It's a risk I am willing to take.



In case you can't see my shirt, it's the Cullen clan crest. Which makes sense on all sorts of levels, being that I'm in their family, and married to Eddie, blah, blah, blah.


We were hanging in our little group chatting and watching all the tweens furiously texting their whereabouts when we hear the Borders lady saying something about moms. She kept calling on the moms to come up and participate in the trivia quiz, and we were looking around for this said group of old women desperately clinging to their youth by attending a Twilight Party. Pshhaw...losers. Then she actually pointed at me and called me out on the spot. Whhhaaatt? I'm the mom? We're the group of moms you're talking about? This, of course, led to our group dissolving into laughter, especially since we have no kiddios to speak of among us. We recovered enough to participate in the quiz.

I'm the hottest mom in the crowd!

You go Mom!!

Excited Mom

Winning Mom

Mom's love Twilight Too!!

Holding it down for Team Mom.

After the game, we headed downstairs to accost the Twilight display

This is classic--you crazy mom, you!

Then we headed over to the magazine section to accost the GQ starring our hottie vamp

Back upstairs to join the throngs of screaming girls waiting for the DVD. I had to swing by Borders earlier in the day to grab my wristband. This guaranteed I would be #44 in line to get the special deluxe Borders DVD with lots of extras. Score!

Borders also had a "random" drawing where members got to select their favorite moments, and then put their votes in a box. Borders then "mixed up" the entries and did the drawing. Our mom power must have ruled all..because almost all of us moms won. This angered the tweens. Oh well. They should get used to it...moms always have the final say you know. BECAUSE WE SAID SO, THAT'S WHY!!

The clock struck midnight...and we hopped in line!

Got em!

Of course, it seemed silly to buy the movie and then not watch it. So these crazy soccer moms mustered up the energy to grab In-N-Out and sneak back to my house to watch it.

Shhhhhh...

Finally the clock struck 4, and our coaches turned back to pumpkins. These crazy moms packed it up and called it a night. Ladies..that was hilarious fun. I expect to repeat these crazy shenanigans in about 8 months. It's all about New Moon, baby. We'll dust off our shirts, find a sitter for our "kids" and hit up the theatre Cullen style. Ah yeah.

Which do you Want to Hear First?

Here's the good news, and it feels like cheating--nummy, nummy:

This is the bad news. It does not feel like cheating. It feels like a combined 14 inches of sheer hell.

Why must all good news come with bad news? Why do we always feel the need to cushion the bad with the good? Is it too much to ask for a gummy vitamin that also burns fat and gives me a killer boo-tay?

Devil Inside

The Devil takes on many forms. These days, he's lookin' a lot like this:

Don't be fooled by him. He packs 130 calories of pure fat and sugar in his faux-egg shell.

That is NOT yolk inside. It's Satan.