I Don't Think You're Ready for This Jelly

On Friday it rained, it poured. I'm sure the old man was snoring somewhere. I couldn't take it anymore. I packed up Beezie, picked up Miss J who was out on spring break, and we headed over to Fairfield to take the free Jelly Belly tour.

The decision was made at playgroup that morning. Look at B sit! She's got a serious advantage with all that junk in her trunk.



At first, no one was on board to join in the jelly belly fun--but a few hours later I had convinced 3 others to go with me. Seems like I'm taking my job of bringing the fun back seriously! Off we went!

Team Tinger was definitely in the Jelly Belly spirit

The 40 minute tour was about 20 minutes too long. That aside, it was fun and interesting. I got samples of the beans, and B sampled the hat, which she found quite tasty.

When all was said and done, B showed how she felt about the tour! We will definitely be going back down the line. The only difference is that I will refrain from buying a big bag of candy, and eating so much that I got a stomachache like a 3 year old. I have no self control. It's not my fault, though. They usher you through the gift shop at the end of the "free" tour, knowing full well that you will drop $$ on their delicious beans. Our free tour ended up costing $8.

The driving and tour wiped me out, so I was totally excited to come home and rest my little head on my awesome new Tempurpedic pillow. It was an early birthday gift from Lancer--yeah, we're lame. But you can't put a price on a good nights sleep!


Our old Tempurpedic pillows had fallen apart after 6 years, so it was time for an upgrade. Lancer bought mine first, and I spent the week breaking it in while his was on backorder. As I hopped into bed, I noticed that my pillow felt weird. It felt hard and lumpy, and had a scratchy pillowcase on it. I gave it a serious pat-down, trying to figure out what was going on. I rolled over and tried to just suck it up, but the pillowcase was chafing my cheek.

I tried to unzip it, but was met with the stinky smell--the same smell mine had right out of the box. I was confused because the smell had dissipated over the week. I started feeling around the bed for another pillow to use, which woke Lancer up. He asked what was up, but remained awfully quiet. I asked him if he had accidentally switched our pillows, and he mumbled incoherently--but offered up his "new" pillow. It felt suspiciously familiar.

This morning, he meandered out into the living room, looking guilty. He asked me to help him "break in his new pillow." I quickly realized he had pulled the old switcheroo on me last night--he stole my nice, broken in pillow, hoping I wouldn't notice. Lame! I am mulling over ways to get even. Revenge, you know, is best served up on a scratchy pillowcase.

How Kaari Got Her Groove Back

This post is speculative, because my groove is still missing. And I'm fairly certain that finding it does not involve one Taye Diggs.


Thankfully, it's not just me. We were chatting after my Storytime this morning, and we were trying to figure out ways to bring on the fun.

My own thoughts on the subject were formed when I realized that all of my thoughts have revolved around my numb leg, caloric burn, water aerobics, and weight loss. That crap ain't fun!! I blame the oldies in my water aerobics class--every day is a litany of complaints about the lifeguard, their vertigo, the selections in the vending machine...you get the picture. It's a pool full of Debbie Downers.

I switched things up tonight and went to Zumba for the first time. This class is attractive to guidos in wifebeaters.

It's the Latin Jazzercise. I had avoided it for a long time because I thought the music was all lameski salsa music. I didn't realize it was Latin hip-hop! I got down, and was sweating buckets by the end. My cheeks are still beet red.

A blow to my vanity

As I was exiting the parking lot, I was amazed at the jackwagon who pulled off this one. I reckon the Y loses about 6-8 prime spots to bad parkers every day! I'm submitting it to badparking.us.


I digress. How are we all going to amp up the fun? Stephanie suggested that we caravan down to Burbank and try out for TV shows. I wanna come on down to the Price is Right!! I would rule Pinko--the pink, fuzzy stairs are calling my name!


Who's in? The first step to winning is being an audience member. Tickets available here. There's a 9/325 chance we will be selected. I suck at math, but those are good odds, right? Is there a Mathlete in the house??

Future Foodie!

One of my favorite things in life is food. Cheap and junky, pricey and high end--I love it all. I just knew when we fed Beezie her rice cereal for the first time she would be a chip off the old foodie block!

Er, not.

We better come up with Plan B, cause someone has to figure out a way to get Fats McGee her calories to keep those tree trunks thighs up and movin!

Feed me! I don't want to starve!

Little Reader, The Second Happiest Place on Earth, & Full Glitz

Beezie is quite the little reader. She is finally old enough to understand the words, and take in the illustrations.

I always lay on the silliness when I read, much to B's delight.

Scuffy is a fine tale.

On Saturday, we went to the second happiest place on earth--Happy Hollow. We have a season pass for our family, and I usually go with Blake every week. This was a fun trip because Lancer got to join us for the first time.


My blog friend Brooke likes to (mistakenly) say that B cannot take a bad photo. This photo is for you, Brooke!

This was her first time on the carousel--she sat on the bench next to Pops.

B's bad photos come from her dad's side. Check out this doozie.

Color Me Badd, Yo!

All of the good photos are attributed to my genes. See proof below.

Allright--the man is hot when he's not doing his CMB impression. I take back my earlier assertion.

Beezer got to pet the goats, and check out the wild animals at the zoo in the park.

Beezie came up a little short to ride alone--thankfully, we were willing to ride along with her.

This is the original Danny the Dragon from the 60's. I love it!

After the train, B needed to rest on the bench to recuperate from the exhausting day.

Tuckered out from her day of fun

And now onto my latest guilty pleasure...Toddlers and Tiaras!!

This show is a hot mess. The creepy kids, the ugly and crazy parents, the winking at the judges, the inappropriate baby hooker outfits, the stupid dance moves....I can't get enough!!

I got a new little gem of wisdom tonight: "You can love Jesus and glitz pageants."

Religion+pageants=ratings gold

The worst part is they often feature naive parents with kind of homely and awkward kids who have NO IDEA what they are up against. These people don't tan their kids, don't hire makeup artists, don't have choreographers...it's bad. Some even make their own outfits. The shame!!

I know all of the terms now: full glitz (total baby hooker), low glitz (half baby hooker), no glitz/natural (ugly kids--JUST KIDDING!!), flippers (toddler dentures for kids)....the list goes on and on. I know that Grand Supreme is the ultimate title, and being a Princess in the court means you're a zero.

The most outrageous one was Mia, a 2 year old who came out and gyrated to Madonna...in a cone bra and a cross around her neck.

"My Mom is Mother of the Year!!"

I need a new show--one that doesn't cause me shame and embarrassment. Suggestions?