WHY? WHY? Why do I insist on going camping year after year, only to be sorely disappointed? What is wrong with me? Let's take a quick look at our fine history with camping.
The year that I brought hot dogs instead of hobo dinners and it caused marital discord: http://themostess.blogspot.com/2008/09/camping-dobbie.html
The year that we forgot the tent: http://themostess.blogspot.com/2008/08/camping.html
The year we had no poles and left at 1am after being hounded by foxes: http://themostess.blogspot.com/2010/07/im-not-meant-for-camping.html
The year that Lance had a bad back and couldn't come with: http://themostess.blogspot.com/2012/09/summer-wrap-up.html
Let's just call this the year that our mattress deflated, hurt our backs, and caused us to pack up and head home at 4am.
B laughed at us. Fools, fools I say!
I kinda thought this year would be different. I had the tent with the built in poles. I checked the Coleman lantern to make sure the battery was good. I got ice for the cooler so we wouldn't die of botulism. I brought jackets, bug spray, my glasses, the portable potty....I had it all! I totally packed the car all by myself, and all Lancer had to do was come home and hop in the car.
I even did cute Heidi braids for my great outdoor adventure. I figured I could sweet talk the foxes out of eating my smores with this cute little do.
I created and packed up amazing hobo dinners. Hamburgers with carrots, onions, and potatoes just waiting to be cooked with the tasty juices coaxed out by the fire. Slam dunk!
I even bought a glow stick for B to play with. I would toss it 20 feet away, yell fetch, and she would hustle down the trail to retrieve it. Good girl.
It was all fun and games until we retired to our tent and discovered 2 large holes in our mattress. We tried to patch them up with Scotch tape (me), and duct tape (Lance). Neither held. As the night wore on, I was trying desperately to fall asleep with a large boulder parked in my ribs. At 4 am, Lance and I called it, and packed up furiously. I wrote a note explaining our predicament, then we tore out of Camp Lehi, leaving behind a trail of dust and tears.
But wait! We have found a solution for next year. I can't tell you what it is just yet, but I promise it will be mind blowing, and life changing. I just know that this will break our bad streak. Stay tuned.
At the very least, we enjoyed a night under the stars with our good friends. They got to hear all about my eternal optimism, and how I always think things are going to be mind blowing and life changing. Just like that awesome sandwich maker I bought in 7th grade!
It totally sucked, btw. Till next year, campers!
