It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

What time is that, you ask? The time when NKOTB announce their spring cruise!!!

What's up, D-Dub??

Tickets go on sale next Friday, which means I (we) have 7 days to convince Lancer that the best way to say "thanks for bearing my child" and "happy 35th birthday next April" is to pack me up and ship me off to the Bahamas with my 5 favorite Beantown Boys.

Cabins start at just $699--affordable, yes? I am fairly certain that stretch marks, bum legs, back aches, nausea, and poor sleep adds up to roughly $700 in compensation. Not to mention the impending delivery of said bundle of joy. You have heard of push presents, right?

Plus, if you go halvsies on the birthday gift, that's really only $350 per major life milestone. This is when math comes in handy, just like my 8th grade teacher said it would.

People, please help Lancer see the light. I only have 7 days to make the magic happen. Get to work!

Just to bolster my case, look what crate I came across yesterday at a farm. It's meant to be!

Pretty Please??

Can all of my friends, family, loyal readers, and blog-stalkers (as long as you're not creepy) please refrain from the following for the next 10 months:

*Death

*Marriage

*Divorce

*Retirement

*Baby Having

*Party Throwing

*Anniversaries

*Birthdays

Why, you ask?? BECAUSE NKOTB WILL BE HAVING ANOTHER CRUISE IN 2010. May 14th-17th to be exact. So--if you insist on engaging in any of the aforementioned items, plan on excluding me if it's during those dates. Consider yourself warned.

I will not have another near miss!!

Time to start packing! I'm fairly certain I will need this and this and this. But not this. I have dignity.

Help Wanted-Please Inquire Within

Who: A bridesmaid to stand in for me at my girlfriend's wedding

What: Perform all of my duties--gush about her beauty, help her into the dress, carry her train, wear a hot dress, wear hot shoes, dance the night away, eat cake, send them off on their honeymoon.

Where: In SF

When: May 17th

Why: Because NKOTB announced they are having a cruise from May 15-18th, thats freakin' why. It's all about priorities people!

May 17th is also my 6th anniversary, but since we went all out for the 5th (thanks, baby!) I'm sure we can skip this one. I will be sure to send you a postcard from the Bahamas.