Call me Mitt

This is my official concession. I'll toss a bone at Ashley and give her a
lukwarm win. I could rally the troops and try to pull ahead like Obama, but I'll just go ahead and be Mitt. At least he has good hair.

We have that in common

 

Ashley had the good graces to admit that the best pieces in my collection weren't even showcased. I was trying to do her a favor by not adding them, and sticking to the porch area. Since her friends are convinced that "less is more," it probably wouldn't have mattered. But it should be noted that I have an adorable blowmold Santa atop my chimney, as well as two adorable blowmold gingerbread men out front.

Ashley also decided to stick THIS CREEPY LOSER SCARECROW out front for my cookie party this evening. He's been gussied up with a Santa hat and a mathlete button. Tyler had the stones to command me (via Ashley) NOT to return it. Is this guy kidding? Like I'm going to listen to him. He'll return in a most glorious manner. Count down the days.

In the end, it all came down to Ashley's twigs and berries. Congrats on your win, Ashley! Your display of the ol' twig and berries were simply too good to pass up. You should revel in that.

Ho Ho Holiday Display-Off--Cast Your Vote!

The day has arrived! Let's take a magical journey to the destination known as my front porch. Ashley shall heretofore be known as my sworn enemy until this war has commenced. Go forth faithful voters and weigh in on what you like about each display, and who you think is the GRAND SUPREME WINNER of the First Annual Ho Ho Holiday Display Off. Leave your comments on this blog. Here is my offering:

The scene

Let's start with stage right--an overview

 Moving left to right--starting with one of the vintage blowmold soldiers I picked up in Napa last winter. This is my first year displaying them--I absolutely adore them! I tried to get Tyler to buy Ashley a similar pair last year, but he balked. Let's see if he cost her the BIG WIN. This section also features a vintage Santa boot planter.

One of my favorite pieces--the hand painted and distressed holiday sign I made! I love it, even though that song is creepy. "What's in this drink?? Don't worry, you're not leaving tonight...."

Moving along--this features a vintage sleigh I picked up at Goodwill, painted, and filled with adorable ornaments. I also love this piece!

 

 Moving on to stage left. This is the overview.

I mixed real greenery in with some frosted cranberries  for the red vase. I filled the festive green basket with multi-colored ornaments.

My vintage Santa. ADORABLE! I tried to talk MY SWORN ENEMY into buying him, but in a moment of panic she passed. I'm so glad she did. He's retro and jolly, and I love him.

The front door

The glow from the soldiers and lantern cast a warm and festive glow at night. I pulled a Clark Griswold and blew a circuit breaker with all of my vintage plugs, hence the delay in posting this. We took these tonight. Glow, baby, glow!

Okay, folks! Head over to ASHLEY'S DISPLAY (yawn) and come back here to cast your official vote. Our holiday merriment depends on it! Ho Ho Ho....get on it!

Better Not Pout, Better Not Cry

The HO HO HOLIDAY DISPLAY-OFF IS COMING!

Dig out your boxes.

Secure your PDR.

Hang your lights.

Decide on your theme.

Get decorating.

The Big Jolly Guy may unconditionally love you, but we're here to judge the crap out of you. You don't want to end up on the naughty list, so think long and hard about that inflateable penguin.

Ashley is already hard at work. She told me her theme is "understated and refined."

 

 Keep going, Ash! Almost there! You're totally a shoe in!

Round Three of the Display-Off: Bountiful Harvest

This is the post to end it all. We have each won a battle, now it's time to see who will win the war. I present to you....Bountiful Harvest!

Who feels like the know my house by heart at this point? In keeping with previous entries, let's start as we walk up the pathway.

To the left you will find my first display

I absolutely love this display. It's so inviting to guests as they walk up the path to our house. Some favorite pieces are:

Crab apples in harvest basket

And seasonal grasses in tin bucket

As you round the corner, you see an overall view of the front of the house with the two additional displays.

This is the display to the left of the door

My crate packed full of seasonal goodies, and the requisite horn 'o' plenty. It's not November without a cornucopia of fall delights.

As promised in Round Two, I turned Hooty into a little pilgrim. He's perched on top of my vintage stove. This is my favorite piece in this particular display. I can't lie.

Here is the next (and last!) display to the right of the door.

There are a few great pieces in this display as well. Vintage milk jug filled with seasonal grasses

Vintage picnic basket filled with fall mums sitting atop vintage crate. I LOVE this piece! The colors really pop against the brown basket.

Raffia wrapped dried corn stalks nestled in my orange canister. Being from Iowa, this was a requirement in the display.

And that's all, folks!

Feel free to praise, trash, or do some combination of both. This round will be decided by a panel of qualified judges (read--light on Ashley's friends) who will be both fair and unbiased. No "I love candy, so Ashley wins" business going on in this ever-important round!

Bring it, Carter!! Let's see what you got!

My Victory Lap

I'm no braggart. Just kidding--I totally am! It was a battle worth fighting for. You can read Ashley's hilarious concession speech here.

I haven't fought this hard for a title since I won Camp Queen in 1988. What's that, you say? Your Girls Camps didn't have a pageant? I pity the fool who didn't go to Girls Camp in the south. They have pageants for everything. My talent was fighting off mosquitos, and I wore a ballgown made from tablecloths and tissue paper. My virtue was Divine Nature, and my parting line was "I represent divine nature because I'm simply divine." I stole the show, and won the crowd. God bless Kentucky!

On a roll from my recent win, I was totally convinced that Lady Luck was on my side, and bought a raffle ticket for the "Have lunch with Donnie and Mark Wahlberg in Boston at the opening of their new burger joint Wahlburgers." Unfortunately for me--but fortunately for Donnie--I lost. The worst part is the chick who won is from NYC, and could simply hang out at the restaurant all day and night, and just casually run into Donnie anytime. Being a West Coast gal, I'm not afforded this option. I'm sure at some point Lance would notice that I was missing. Probably when he came home, and was greeted with silence when he asked "what's for deener" in his fake French accent.

So my win has been balanced with a devastating loss, which means order has been restored, and Round Three of the Display-Off--Bountiful Harvest--is up for grabs. Until I snatch up that title from Ashley, of course, and she begs for a Ho-Ho-Holiday Extravaganza, and a chance to even the score. Lemme guess--Hooty in a Santa hat. Sigh.

It Was a Graveyard Smash

Round Two. I want that badge. Ashley is going down. And all of the other contenders, too, including Tyler, who, in a desperate bid, threw his kids in his tiny orange car and tried to pass if off like a real entry. No dice, Tyler! This is what a real Halloween display looks like. Cover your eyes in the scary parts.

Monster Mash

We will start with the display in the front yard. I love the little black cage housing the skeleton. I got it for $8 on clearance at TJ Maxx. I'm not sure its real purpose is, but it makes a fine rattling cage.

Here's a cool night shot of the spooky scene

Rounding the corner, you will see an undead creature rising up from the depths of hell. Or the Santa Clara water system. Either one. Still freaky!

As you continue along the pathway, you will find an overall view of the front of the house.

To the left, you will find our trio of ghoulish friends

To the right, you will find our spooktacular bench, occupied by a bony friend. He's sitting on a vintage crate. I know how you 'Friends of Ashley' just love the real deal.

An overall view of the front door scene

To the left of the door. See anyone familiar? Perhaps a hooty little owl? Ashley (hilariously) left one for me on my porch, because she knows how much I LOVE that owl. She had the audacity to ask if I already had one. I'm so sure.

The front door

My sinister black web, with gigantic spider. Look closely. He's ready to pounce on your head.

And my 'Ghostess with the Mostess' door sign. It's a winner among losers. Black wreaths are played out. They're the hay bales of the Halloween set. To Quote Milli Vanilli...Girl, you know it's true!


To the right of the door, you will see the other Halloween display. And, wait, what's that I see??

Could that be a PDR to rule over all PDR's? Why, yes, it is. A Handmade, Lifesize Mummy!! Go and eat your humble pie now. I hope it tastes as good as Ashley's stale (and also played out) candy on her porch.

Some night shots with my purple lights and killer PDR

I felt like Igor working in the lab. The mummy was so much fun, and he turned out better than I thought he would. I used heavy duty foam, carved out the basic body shape, secured it with wooden dowels, and then wrapped it with quilt batting and duct tape. 20 feet of cheesecloth, a head, and then gave it all a good spray paint to age it.

Now THAT is what a Halloween display is supposed to look like. I admire Ashley's piddly attempt. You know, the one where she had the same display as her Fall Harvest display, but added a bunch of candy corns and tried to pass it off as a new display? Don't be fooled, readers. You know who brought home the bacon on this round. The only really cute thing in her display is an adorable glittery black pumpkin. Someone with great taste must have gifted her that little gem.

I anxiously await your comments and votes. Get crackin!

To officially cast your vote, please visit Ashley's Blog HERE and leave a comment stating your favorite display. It doesn't have to be mine!