Move Over Jake Ryan

Ugh. I hesitate to even post this, but I fear Husbie will use it against me down the line if I don't just fess up. I LOVED TWILIGHT. Edward, Bella, hot vampire makeouts. I am totally hooked. I stayed up until 4 am sucking down the pages of this crack-book. I laid awake at night trying to figure out how to get my hands on the next 3 books, even though I was in Mexico, and had no internet or phone access. (More on Mexico when Husbie decides to upload his pics...nudge-nudge...) One the way home, we had a layover in Phoenix, and I RAN into the airport Borders, wild look in my eye. I swear the guy started leading me back to the Twilight section before I even stated what I wanted...he could smell my desperation.

My favorite part (out of many) if when Bella curls up on his lap, and tells him that she loves him, and he replies, simply: "You are my life now." Swoooon....

There are 2 Twilight camps. Those that think a pale, undead vampire with cold skin and spindly fingers is gross, and those that think a pale, undead vampire with cold skin and spindly fingers is the hottest thing out there, and would gladly be ravaged and/or eaten by Edward in the back of his zippy silver Volvo. I am *so* in the latter camp. Who knew a perpetual teenaged vampire outcast could make my heart swoon?? Move over, Jake Ryan...you have been usurped as my favorite fictional hot-boy. Edward Cullen...I am all yours!

Mini-Me

While going through my mom's storage unit, I found some old school papers. Among these treasures was a funny and weird poem I wrote when I was in 2nd grade:

"Mary Lou"

There once was a girl named Mary Lou

Who was not a bit as sweet as you

Once she ran through the house

As if she had just seen a mouse

Right then she broke her mother's vase

And had to take off her ladies lace

Her mother did not know what to do

So she turned Mary Lou into glue.

Clearly, I read a ton of spooky stories and fairy tales as a kid. What a weird little ditty. I wonder if I was scared my mom would turn me into glue.

Seriously, So Spot On!

http://seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com/

I came across this mock-blog, and it's so well-written, I didn't realize it was fake until I was a few posts in. It lampoons Mormon Bloggers...more specifically, Mormon Married Bloggers, which are a particular subset of Mormon blogging peeps. It's rife with "way" funny observations and "so" spot on spoofs.

It follows the life of "Tiffany/Amber/Megan/Nic...TAMN for short. She is married to "Jordan/Jason/Wes/Taylor (JJWT)...they are recently married and are LOVING LIFE! Life is SO FUN, and they have SO MUCH FUN hanging out with their WAY FUN married friends. It's great because it's meant to be funny while observing the "glossiness" often found in Mormon blogs. My friends and I have discussed this phenomenon before--not that we want to be sharing our "way-not-fun" moments and assorted hardships with the world, but Mormon blogs tend to be over-the-top chipper about how great, fun, and perfect life is. It's also done in good fun, and reminds readers not to take things too seriously.

Sadly, a few jabs land squarely in my corner. I use "so" a lot, along with "va-cay"...and talk about my "hot husband" and his "faux-hawk." Ouch. Twilight and Archaletta fans (cough..cough..Hayley and Alie..cough...cough..) beware--you will also be mocked!

Seriously...enjoy!!

I Knew it!

Remember how I questioned whether or not I was old because I liked the new Coldplay CD? I figured they either sucked less or I was just old. Turns out they actually do suck less--because of Brian Eno. Eno, it seems, produced a bunch of U2's albums, and is a musical master. Die-hard Colplay fans are rumbling about their new sound, because it sounds totally different. Ha! Coldplay didn't *trick* me into liking their junky tunes....they totally changed their tune so it was less junky. I feel vindicated, and will feel fine downloading their new album onto my flashy new Ipod.

To Colorado and Back

My mom recently moved back to The Heartland, and my sister will soon be following. We quickly realized that if I wanted my family loot, I would have to fly to Colorado and drive back with it. With one day's notice, I arrived in Colorado to help my sister go through our mom's storage unit and divvy up the family goods. I scored big-time...I found some of my Great-Grandmother's French end irons for our fireplace, and enough crystal and china to throw a fancy dinner party one of these days. Yes, you're invited--I will serve something fancy, like mutton.

We also found this ugly Indian-themed frame-blech:

I also dug out my Cabbage Patch Kids (Becky Sue, David Zachary, and Wilton Egbert, respectively) and stacks of elementary and junior high pictures, notes and yearbooks. Man, I had some bad hair, and a penchant for liking a different boy each week. It's a wonder I ever settled down and got married.

My sister and I stopped in to eat @ Sonic, a place my dad loathes almost as much as he loathes Texans and big trucks. Imagine my delight when 2 large trucks flanked me as I dined on a delicious Sonic lunch. I captured the magic just for him:




Lancer flew out and drove home with me. We drove almost 24 hours in 2 days...we're exhausted. We did see some cool clouds and sunsets on the way home:

The long, flat drive:

Gorgeous sunset:

This is what I get for using the "Ladies" room in Elko, Nevada. Classy.

A familiar and costly sight:

All in all, it was productive, though it did nothing to help with my "de-chubbing" goals. I ate, like, 50 pounds of beef in a week. Oh well. Back on the lard train.

Camping

We did a little camping a few weeks ago with our friends @ Camp Lehi in the Santa Cruz mountains. It's sort of fake-camping, since there are tent sites and full bathrooms. But, it's still camping to me. Lucky for us (NOT) we even got to sleep under the stars...because I forgot the tent. It went a little something like this:

Lancer: Good job on packing the car up so fast!

Me: Thanks, I'm awesome.

Lancer: Where's the tent?

Me: Right there. (Points at blue bag)

Lancer: That's not the tent.

Me: Yes, it is.

Lancer: No, it's not.

Me: Then what is it?

Lancer: (Spilling out contents of a camp chair) Not a tent!!

Me: Crap-ola.

Lancer: Guess we're sleeping under the stars tonight. At least we have an air mattress.

Me: Yes, that's certainly the silver lining.

In my defense, we apparently inherited an odd camping chair over the last few years. I grabbed our 2 normal chairs, and a bag containing what I thought was our tent. Twas not. At least we had 3 chairs.

Sleeping under the stars wasn't so bad--it was a mild night, and the bugs were few and far between. It was a little noisy, and a little bright...otherwise, not so bad.

Rudely, upon my return, our friend said he had a "hard time picturing me roughing it" and that camping with me would be like an episode of "The Simple Life." I may be blond, and danced (soberly!!) on a few tables in my day...but I am no Paris Hilton. And I am not high-maintenance. I have no idea where you people get your strange ideas from.

My Super-Stupid 16

I'm sure you have seen "My Super Sweet Sixteen" on MTV. It's a serious travesty. Here's the plotline in case you've never seen one:

An unbelievably spoiled child, about to turn 16, throws what they each deem "the party of a lifetime." They enlist a dress/shoe maker to do a custom dress/shoe, which they will inevitably hate and cry about. They will pick an over-the-top venue where security is lax, and lots of crashers get in. They cook up a lame way to invite people, while making sure they hurt the feelings of all the "losers" not invited. In some special cases, they make the people "work" for the invites before inevitably telling them no.

Then they scheme up a "grand" entrance, where they A. Pop out of a box B. Roll up in a custom car C. Get carried in by scantily dressed members of the opposite sex or D. Arrive via helicopter. Next, they decide who will be part of the VIP club, taking special care to trash those not in said club.

They will cry, whine, make demands, and throw tantrums. Their parents will pick a special musical guest to play. This will be A. Ryan Cabrerra B. Pit Bull C. Ciara D. Some losers, and they will hate their parents forever. During the party, they will anger their VIP club members, break up with their boy/girlfriend, fight with their parents, and then be rewarded with a 100k Range Rover. What the hell???

My "Sweet Sixteen" involved my 5 best friends and a funfetti cake made by my mom. We ran around the house like maniacs, took dumb pictures, and we may have even snuck out and gotten into some silly shenanigans...and that's about it. If I had asked for a car, my parents would have kindly pointed to my bike and told me to hop on and start pedaling.

The Birthday Girl:

My Funfetti cake:

My tape player...yes, I'm that old:

My crazy BFF's:

Kissie's on the stairwell:

My Fitness Challenge

A few months ago, when I was working out and wasn't chubby, I decided to do a funny challenge. I would start with 15 wussy, girl-type push-ups and sit-ups, and add 5 repetitions each day. I'm trying to decide if the gradual increase will:

1. Work, because I'm slowly building up endurance, and I can easily handle 5 more a day

2. Not work, because I will max out at some horrible number, like 50, because it's just too hard, and the gradual increase was no match for a high number.

I'm kicking my little experiment into high gear again as part of my "de-chubbing"...see below for deets on that bit. I shall let you know if it's #1 or #2.

De-Chubbing

It seems I have been having a little too much fun this summer, with a little too much ice-cream and goodies. I am feeling a bit chubby these days...I suspect this is Karma for making fun of Dobbie, our resident Tubby McFatty. Or, it's just karma for eating too many sweets, and not working out enough. Likely a combo of both.

In any case, the Husbie, the Dobster and I will be combatting the tubbiness that is Team Jacobs of late. I grabbed some yummy, gluten-free meal replacement bars, which I will be eating with a ton of fruit and veggies @ lunch, followed by a sensible dinner. No more snackies until I shed a few L-B's. And I need to kick up my workout routine, too.

Wish me luck with my de-chubbing.

Veggin' Out

I love meat. A lot. I like fish, I like chicken, I like beef, and I kinda like pork...depends on the offering. Ham and bacon, yes; pork chops, meh. However, for a variety of reasons, I am going to go a little veggie...not full vegetarian, not even half or a quarter vegetarian..I just want to cut out some animal products, and incorporate more veggie dishes into my diet. I want to be healthier, and a little kinder to the Earth.

A lot of my gluten-free goodies are already vegetarian or vegan, so I feel like I have a good start. I am especially interested in trying more diverse dishes at home--Indian, Thai, etc. Lentils are delicious, cheap, and easy to whip up in the crockpot. I will let you know how my veggie adventures go!

Why So Serious??

Finally saw The Dark Knight last night with Tinger. When we arrived, they were nowhere to be found, so we joined the long, winding line around the building. It went a little like this:

Us Standing In The Long Line: Hey, where are you guys? We don't see you.

Tinger: We're inside.

Us Standing In The Long Line: Oh. We're waiting in line.

Tinger: What line??

Us Standing In The Long Line: The line for The Dark Knight.

Tinger: Um, that's for X-Files.

Us Standing In The Long Line....sheepishly leaving said line, annoyed we didn't notice how nerdy the line patrons were. If I had, I would certainly have been able to tell it was for X-Files. The people in camping chairs *should* have given it away.

Loved, loved, loved the movie. Nothing but great things to say about it. I was blown away by The Joker, and am very sad that Heath won't be able to reprise the role down the line.

The entire cast was outstanding, and Batman was a tasty dish.

It was dark, gritty, and grim...just the way I like my movies!!

I give it an A+!

Potato Jacket

Lancer was confused by my use of the word "jacket" as it relates to a potato in the last post. Who doesn't know that's what a potato skin becomes when it's baked?

Says Wiki: "A baked potato, also known as a jacket potato, is the edible result of baking a potato."

Then I realized that I was going to add "Potato Jacket" to my list of secret band names, for when I have a cool, new band. Lance's response to this?? "That sounds like a winner. I'm sure people in Idaho will really like it." Insert sarcasm here.

T-Boned

Husbie and I live on a street with a 2-way stop. This seems to confuse everyone *not* living on our street. As we approach and slow down to turn, the people at the stop signs gun it, assuming it's a 4-way stop, and we are slowing down to turn. We barely miss getting t-boned several times a week. We are also barraged with yelling, gesturing, and ill-mannered behavior of all sorts from the right-of-way thieves.

I decided enough was enough, and I emailed 'Mr. Roadshow' our local roads/traffic guy in the Bay Area. I explained our predicament, and asked how we could obtain a sign for the stop signs stating that cross-traffic doesn't need to stop. I awoke to this:

"I am looking into it"

Gary Richards

San Jose Mercury News

Direct line: (408) 920-5037

Roadshow line: (408) 920-5335

Sweet! The only t-bones I want to be subjected to are broiled medium-rare and nestled next to a spud in a spiffy brown jacket.

And I Feel, So Much Depends on the Weather

Cruising home this evening, I heard that Stone Temple Pilots would be playing a show in Berkeley on Friday. General Admission tix are up for grabs on Craigslist, and I am seriously tempted to go. I could have sworn they were playing more vintage STP on the radio lately--this is probably why. Core was one of my favorite grungey albums of the 90's, along with Ten, Nevermind, Siamese Dream, Pretty Hate Machine and Dirt.

I'm bumping AIC's Would right now, and am reminded how much I miss grunge. The music, the bad attitude, the chunky Docs, the tortured soul bit, the bad and greasy boys...not so much on the baggy jeans, flannel shirts, babydoll clothing, coffee boom, Courtney Love, and the bad and greasy boys. See, the bad and greasy boys were a mixed bag, especially the dark and brooding bad boy I always think of when I hear STP's Plush.

If I go, I'll let you know how the oh-so-post-grunge STP looks and sounds.

Team Lauren

I know The Hills is super-fake, super-stupid, and super-embarrassing...yet, I still love it. Season 4 is just around the corner, babies.

Brody goes to jail? She-Pratt steals Lauren's man? Whitney finds a gent?? Speidi continues to make us puke?? The first 3 are a surprise.

You know where I will be on August 18th. Let the countdown begin. Who's in for a little Hills Premiere Par-tay?? We'll be sure to serve Speidi Sandwiches and Justin Bobby Juice.

BLECH!!

So...I'm cruising up to Menlo Park this morning...going down Lawrence Expressway as usual. I look over and see this trashy lady with a sign on the corner--yeah...she got that part right. In any case, she was advertising for a strip club...better yet, she was advertising for their "Lunch Buffet" at the club...pizza and salad. Mmm...I can think of no other place to down highly hygienic offerings. Gag me with a freakin' spoon. Where do I sign up? Oh, right, at the strip club...located in another city.

Since when do I live in a 'hood that advertises skanks on the corner?? I wanted to pull over and tell her to get off my corner. However, I was afraid she would think I hooker, and make me hold her sign while she fixed her fishnets...and someone from church would undoubtedly drive by. Peeps who live in the same hood--what are your thoughts?? Totally unacceptable!!

Pioneer Day Picnic

Lance and I threw our 3rd Pioneer Day Picnic today. We held it @ Ponderosa Park in Sunnyvale, which is a great location because it's spacious and has plenty 'o' shade. We got there early, and had dogs and burgers hot and ready to go when the revelers arrived in the early afternoon.

Tubby McFatty came along as our party mascot, and he took his duties seriously. These duties included, but are not limited to, the following:

1. Stealing food.
2. Stealing drinks.
3. Looking really cute so people would assume he was a poor, starving stray dog, and toss tasty vittles his way.
4. Getting wrapped around trees and rocks.
5. Stealing more food.

Some pics below:

Thanks to Team Lunny for all of their help--especially with the water balloons! Woo-Hoo!

Tubby McFatty going in for the kill:

On the lookout for abandoned hamburgers:

The Atwoods brought their fun corn-toss game, which entertained the crowd, though I still maintain this is *not* an Iowan game.

Thank You For The Music

I headed up to SF later than planned last night due to a small debacle with the water jugs for today's party--long story. I barely made the fun event @ Sak's, but still managed to squeeze in a mini-makeover from Bobbi Brown. SF makes a truly amazing backdrop! I got some fun pics done, and then ran furiously through the streets of SF in 3 inch heels with my friend Sarah to catch Mamma Mia on opening night. That was the right crowd!

I'm kind of a MM/Abba freak. I saw MM in SF, London, and NY....Lance threatened to divorce me if I saw the play again. He was probably still a little mad that he was my forced date for the London show. He is comforted by his belief that I will watch this when it comes out on DVD in lieu of Grease, and he will cease to be subjected to "You're the one that I want!" ad nauseum. Methinks he will be disappointed, however: Abba is great, but Zuko rules all.

So...

Am I get older (and thus prone to soft-rock hits from yesterday and today) or is Coldplay sucking less? I seriously can't tell, but I'm LOVING all of their new stuff, and it's *so* not my style. I think I am going to blame Apple (corporation, not celeb offspring) and their blasted Ipod commercial. They were able to do what people have been trying to do for close to a decade...they tricked me into liking Coldplay. I curse you Steve Jobs!

Playin' Hooky

My truant husbie and I decided to play hooky from life last week, and continue our fun California adventures.

We slept in late, then rolled up to HMB for lunch with our friend Amy. We checked out the lawn and garden store, where we perused the huge Roman jugs before settling on one. The delivery fee was almost as much as the jug itself...so we got all cheapskate and shoved it in the backseat. That was an interesting ride.

Next, we high-tailed it to San Gregorio to hang out on the beach and go for a little hike. The spectacular views were worth the huffing and puffing:

We moved on to Pescadero, where we stopped off at a little farm to check out the ollaberries:

As we were driving, we found this little old cemetery, where most of the people had died in the 1800's. Lancer got some cool shots with the new cam for his photography class:

We took the long, scenic route home, and then stopped off @ Alice's Restaurant. We shared a ginormous plate of nachos, and then I splurged on a cool and creamy rootbeer float, while Lancer sprung for the blackberry pie. Mmm....

Once home, we rolled the ol' jug onto the patio where it belongs: