The Mostess

How You Like Them Apples??

2012-01-26T23:36:00.000-08:00

BAM!!

7 pounds down and 2 pant sizes. Take that Flab to Fit contestants!!

Since you asked, these are my pre-Beezie skinny jeans. This is awesome. I get to go shopping in my own closet for crap I haven't been able to wear in years. I should have borrowed a treadmill years ago!

My daily workout is weights and 2 episodes of Mad Men on the treadmill. Oh how I love this show. I'm afraid my daily TV diet will have me catching up, and then I will have to kill January Jones for delaying the new season.

So who's going to bail me out??

PS...Mr. Jordan Knight just scheduled a stop in SF in March. That has to mean he reads my blog, right??

Music to my Ears

2012-01-24T00:01:00.000-08:00

The following quote is from this lovely man

"We haven't recorded in almost four years, so we need to get back to the studio. We will be recording another album, creating new visuals, new videos, new numbers on stage, all that stuff. I would think possibly a late 2012 or early 2013 album release."

In case there was any doubt, he happens to be in this group

YES!! YES!!! YES!!! A new album means a new tour, which means more opportunities to travel all over and enjoy my boys. Skankwhores NOT allowed this time. Talk dirty on your own time, and leave Donnie to me!

I wish 2012 would just get over already. Is it almost 2013??

On a related note, every time I see this video, it makes me half crazy. I have huge "non-cruise" regret every January. I would do almost anything to set sail on the high seas with The Kids, and I always wonder why I don't forgo gifts for my birthday and Christmas to "earn" the trip. I know they will probably only do one or two more cruises, and I can't think of anything I want more than the chance to cruise with my Blockhead friends and the boys. I weep with regret now!

Why I cry

Campo di Bocce

2012-01-23T00:33:00.000-08:00

Our lovely friends got a group together to play a rousing game of bocce ball at Campo di Bocce. It's a highbrow sport.

Bowling de Italiano

I like how they don't allow sleeveless shirts or tank tops for dudes. What's that all about? Not that I'm dying to see random dude's pits.

Before dinner, we hit up our favorite Thai restaurant, Shana. It's our new favorite place to eat. It's fast, relatively cheap, and delicious.

Lancer got the spicy pumpkin curry with chicken, and I got this lovely dish--Tamarind prawns atop a fresh pineapple. It's the *best* Thai food around, hands down. It's so pretty, it's hard to eat.

After dinner, we packed up, and headed down to Los Gatos. It was freezing for the Bay Area. We were all decked out in our "severe winter weather" jackets, and we still huddled under the heat lamps. We're wussy.

Team Aufdermauer

Team Jacobs

Team Tinger

Team Andersen

We split up into two team--boys versus girls. This was a solid choice--until I remembered that Lancer has played this obscure game around 20 times before. I should have pushed for married couples.

Like the NYE charades, the action shots/serious bowling faces were awesome.

Let's be honest. The majority of the action looked more like this. In case you can't tell, they're measuring how close the balls are.

A few fights broke out when the girls realized Lancer was the pinch hitter. When the boys were down and out on their luck, they would have Lancer roll, and this greatly improved their score.

The girls rallied, and sent me in to do some dirty work. And dirty work I did.

We realized there was no way to win without some major destruction on the court. Lance had rolled the ball right next to the metal pallino, and there was no way we were going to get closer. One of us had the genius idea to smash Lance's ball out of the way. I unloaded the ball like I was bowling, got lucky on my aim, and sent both Lance's ball and the pallino flying, which ruined their game. It ruled.

Lancer was not impressed with my legal, but questionable, antics.

But these ladies were!

I like 'sports' that require a modicum of skill, but mostly rely on luck. I'm officially a bocce ball fan. Thanks all for a fun evening!

Good Grief

2012-01-18T19:37:00.000-08:00

It's mid January, and I have little to show for this month. I blame my sinus cavities. Back in November, I caught a cold. It hung on for dear life no matter how hard I tried to shake it. It would get better for a day or two, and then--BAM--it would kick back into high gear. This continued through December. I was complaining to Inger that I had a cold I couldn't get rid of, and she matter of factly stated that it was probably a sinus infection. Sure enough, it was. I started on antibiotics, and immediately started feeling better.

But wait...there's more! Just as I was nearing the end of the meds, I either caught a new cold, or my sinuses kicked back in, and I was laid out again. I relaxed and laid low for about a week. Normally, this would have been awesome. But I was surrounded by stuff that needed to be addressed--Christmas decorations, my massive Christmas village, laundry, dishes--you get the picture. But I just relaxed, put the blinders on, and caught up on my sleep.

I'm finally starting to feel better. While B napped today, I finished packing up the village and hauling it out to the party shed. It was at this point I realized how much crap I picked up in my Display-Off victory. I may have the title, but I also have an extra crate full of crap now. Jokes on me, Ashley! I finally got it all packed in nicely.

Stage Right

Here's hoping this dude will scare off all potential squatters and/0r crazed gunmen skulking 'round my hood.

Stage left

I spy a Hooty!

I wish!! But this little chap isn't so bad, either.

What a Crock

2012-01-18T19:23:00.000-08:00

I like my crockpots. I also like to brag about my crockpotting prowess on Facebook.

This lead to me being asked to teach a class at church on crockpotting. I should have buried my crockin talents under a bushel.

In any case, I told the powers that be that I was happy doing a lesson on crockpotting basics. Here is the presentation if you are the least bit inclined to read it.

Crockpot Tips and Tricks

Purchasing a crockpot

~Make sure you buy a crockpot with a removeable insert for easy washing.

~I recommend a crockpot with an automatic timer. You can set it in the morning, it will cook while you’re away, and automatically switch to ‘warm’ when it’s done cooking. Much better option than one that’s only warm, low, and high.

~Good brands are Rival and Hamilton Beach. A programmable crockpot will cost around $50. All major stores have them, as does Amazon and Ebay.

~I suggest having at least 2 crockpots—one 3 quart for smaller side dishes, and one 6-7 quart for large dinners like roasts, whole chickens, and soups/stews.

Cooking in Your Crockpot

~Plastic cooking liners are a great way to save time and cleanup. Always give the inside of the cooking bag a spray of Pam. Make sure you remove the food from the liner before putting it in the refrigerator to make sure the food has time to cool down—the liners retain heat.

~Never overload the crockpot. Make sure you never fill it over 3/4 full. Always have it at least ½ full, however, or the food will cook too quickly.

~Don’t open the crockpot or remove the lid. If you do, add 15 minutes on to the cooking time.

~In general, one hour on high is equal to two hours on low.

~Though not necessary, searing or browning meats prior to adding to the crockpot brings out the flavor of the meat, and helps eliminate some of the fat.

Why Use a Crockpot?

~You can use cheaper, tougher cuts of meat. The slow cooking process breaks down the meat, and makes it tender with time. A good example of this is stew meat, which tends to have a tougher texture, but cooks up tenderly.

~It’s convenient. You can be away all day, and come home to a delicious dinner.

~Stronger flavor on day two and later. The longer a dish sits, the better the flavor.

~Crockpots can make an entire meal, start to finish—appetizer, main dish, dessert—even drinks like cider and hot chocolate!

Adapting Recipes to Cook in a Crockpot

Read Here: http://southernfood.about.com/library/weekly/aa980215.htm

Vegetables
Dense vegetables like potatoes, carrots, and other root vegetables should be cut no larger than 1" thick, and placed in the bottom of the pot, since they take longer to cook.

Liquids
Usually liquids may be decreased in slow cooking - about half the recommended amount. Unless the dish contains rice or pasta, one cup of liquid is usually enough.

Pasta and Rice
If a recipe calls for cooked pasta to be added, cook it until just slightly tender before adding to the pot. Add 1/4 extra liquid per 1/4 cup uncooked rice, and use long grain converted rice for the best results. For long-cooking recipes, add cooked rice shortly before serving.

Milk/Cheese
Milk, sour cream, and cream break down over long periods of cooking, and should be added during the last hour. Condensed cream soups are good substitutions for milk and can be cooked for extended times. Cheeses don't generally hold up over extended periods of cooking, so should be added near the end of cooking, or use processed cheeses and spreads.

Big Batch Cooking in a Crockpot

~Saves time, energy, and money, and effort cleaning up. You can purchase large quantities at Costco, Sam’s Club, and regular grocery stores when food is on sale.

~You have food on hand to take to people when needed i.e. baby or illness.

~You can tailor the recipes to your taste preferences or food allergies. You can make low-fat, gluten free, or vegetarian options for much cheaper than buying prepared and/or frozen food.

~Great way to make several meals out of leftovers. You can use shredded chicken for enchiladas one night, and then leftover chicken for BBQ chicken sandwiches the next night, or several weeks later.

~Get an electric can opener.

~Get at least 2 programmable crockpots with removeable liners. I have 3. These are the ones I have: http://www.crock-pot.com/Product.aspx?cid=113&pid=10220

~Spaghetti sauce, casseroles, enchiladas, chili, soups, and stews work well in the freezer.

~When making a big batch, simply double or triple all ingredients, including spices and liquid. Some sites say to halve the liquid, but I’ve always found it effective to keep the quantities normal.

~My preference is to buy a Foodsaver, and use it to store the items you want to freeze. The benefit is they lay flat, and you avoid freezer burn. You can also use Tupperware containers, or Ziploc Freezer Bags. If you do this, make sure you use the Freezer bags. The regular bags don’t work in the freezer. The Foodsave is great because food will last in the freezer for much longer than other containers.

~Leave at least an inch or an inch and a half in the top of the bag of container to allow for expansion when freezing.

~Make sure you cool the food at room temperature for an hour (no longer!) before loading into containers for freezing. You should never add hot ingredients to freezer bags or containers.

~I prefer to cool at room temperature for an hour, then cool in the fridge overnight before freezing the next day.

~Label and date your food. Spaghetti sauce and chili, for instance, look exactly the same when frozen.

~Frozen soups, sauces, and casseroles generally keep for 2-3 months; 6 months or longer if you use a Foodsaver.

~A lot of people like to freeze items they can use different ways, such as cooked ground beef, or cooked shredded pork. They cook the meats, freeze the items, thaw them out, add various spices and sauces, and then serve them different ways.

~Don’t re-freeze any food that has been frozen and thawed. It’s only safe to freeze and thaw it once.

~Thaw foods in the fridge, or in a container with warm water if it’s a sealed bag. You can also use your microwave. Then add to a pot for stovetop, or bake in the oven.

~Start small, and use recipes that you know your family already loves. Double or triple the ingredients, and let your corckpots do the cooking for you!

~Some people find it helpful to have a master list with all of the frozen items so they know what they have, and what they need.

~When in doubt, throw it out! If something looks bad or smells bad, toss it!

Foods that Don’t Freeze Well

~Dairy products—cheese, sour cream, milk

~Mayonnaise

~Jell-o

~Fried Foods

~Cabbage, celery, cucumbers

Favorite Books for Big Batch Cooking

Once a Month Cooking

Frozen Assets

The Best Freezer Cookbook

Best Websites for Crockpot Recipes

http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/

http://crockingirls.com/

http://slowandsimple.com/

http://allrecipes.com/recipes/main-dish/slow-cooker/

http://www.momswhothink.com/crock-pot-recipes/crock-pot-recipes-for-the-crockpot-and-slow-cooker.html

http://www.tasteofhome.com/Recipes/Cooking-Style/Slow-Cooker-Recipes

http://www.cookinglight.com/cooking-101/techniques/slow-cooker-classics-00400000001101/

http://www.myrecipes.com/slow-cooker-recipes/

http://southernfood.about.com/library/crock/blcpidx.htm

http://www.epicurious.com/tools/searchresults?search=slow+cooker

http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/preparation/slow-cooker-recipes

http://family.go.com/food/pkg-dinner-recipes/pkg-crock-pot-recipes/

http://www.bhg.com/recipes/slow-cooker/

http://www.cookinglight.com/food/top-rated-recipes/slow-cooker-favorites-00400000038588/

http://www.familycircle.com/recipes/slow-cooker/

Best Books for Crockpot Cooking

Fix It and Forget It Series

Not Your Mother’s Slow Cooker Series

The Gourmet Slow Cooker

My Most Requested Crockpot Recipes

Nanny's White Chicken Chili
3 cans of white northern beans, drained and rinsed
1 medium onion, chopped
3+ cloves garlic
2 4oz cans green chilies, diced
1 1/2 t ground cumin
1 t cayenne pepper--omit if you don't like the heat
1 t oregano
1/2 t salt
One whole cooked chicken, shredded
1 large (49 oz can or box) chicken broth
1 cup water

Put all ingredients in the crockpot, and cook on High 3-4 hours. Serve with grated white cheese (Jack, Muenster, Mozzarella) and corn chips.

Crockpot Kalua Pork
5-7 lbs boneless pork shoulder ribs
1 Tbsp mesquite liquid smoke
1.5 Tbsp Hawaiian sea salt--available at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's

Place ribs, liquid smoke, salt, and 1 cup of water in crockpot. Turn on low and cook for 12-16 hours. If your package of ribs is closer to 5 lbs, cook it closer to 12-14 hours. If it's closer to 6-7 pounds cook it 14-16 hours. Shred with forks, and enjoy! Gluten-Free.

Hayley's Crockpot Veggie Soup

1 onion, diced
1-3 cloves of garlic
4 cups of vegetable broth
2 cups of chicken broth
1 1/2 cups of water
1 can of kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 can of black beans, rinsed and drained
1 12 oz. can of tomato paste
2 tsp of Italian Seasoning
Salt and pepper to taste
(2) 10 oz bags of mixed veggies--I use the one with corn, peas, green beans, lima beans, and carrots
16 oz of Knudsen's 'Very Veggies' juice--can use V-8 instead. I bought the VV @ Whole Foods

Mix together and heat on low for 6-8 hours. Freezes well. Can stir in cooked pasta or meat when serving for a heartier meal.

Brooke's Crockpot Creamed Corn

2 lbs frozen whole kernel corn
12 oz cream cheese cut into cubes (can use low fat)
1 cup milk
1/2 cup butter
2 tsp sugar
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper

Spread corn over bottom of crock pot. Top with cream cheese cubes. Stir together remaining ingredients in small bowl; pour over corn and creamed cheese.
Cover and cook on high heat setting 2-3 hours.
Stir well before serving. Corn will hold on low heat setting up to 2 hours. Stir occasionally.

Kaari's Spicy Homemade Crockpot Chili

2 lbs lean ground beef
2 large onions, chopped
1 green pepper, chopped
1 TBSP bottled minced garlic, or 1-3 cloves of fresh garlic
2 1/2 cups water
1 can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 can white beans, rinsed and drained
1 28 oz can of chopped tomatoes, drained
1 12 oz can tomato paste
1 10 oz can Rotel--diced tomatoes and green chile peppers, undrained
1 TBSP yellow mustard
1 tsp salt
1 tsp chili powder
1 tsp ground black pepper
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 to 1 tsp cayenne pepper--omit if you don't like spicy

Brown beef, onions, green pepper, and garlic until meat is brown and onions tender. Drain fat.
Combine the rest of the ingredients in a large crockpot (4, 5 or 6 quart) and stir. Cover and cook on low for 8-10 hours, or high for 4-5 hours. Freezes well!

Kaari's Split Pea Soup in the Crockpot
1 lb package of dried green split peas
2 cups diced ham
3 carrots, peeled and sliced

1 onion, diced

3 ribs of celery chopped
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 bay leaf
1/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped
1 tbsp. seasoned salt
1/2 tsp. fresh pepper
5 1/2 cups hot water

1. Layer ingredients in the crock pot in the order that they’re listed and pour in water. Do not stir ingredients.

2. Cover and cook on low 8 to 10 hours until peas are very soft. Remove bay leaf. Serve. DOES NOT work heating it on high, low only.

BBQ Baked Beans

1/2 pound sliced bacon, diced

1/2 pound ground beef

1 c. chopped onion

1 (28 ounce) can pork and beans—remove fatty pork

1 (17 ounce) can lima beans, rinsed and drained

1 (15 ounce) can kidney beans, rinsed and drained

1/2 c. barbecue sauce

1/2 c. ketchup

1/2 c. sugar

1/2 c. brown sugar

2 Tbsp prepared mustard

2 Tbsp molasses

1 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. chili powder

In a large skillet, cook bacon, beef and onion until meat is browned and onion is tender; drain. Transfer to crockpot; add all of the beans and mix well. In a small bowl, combine the remaining ingredients; stir into beef and bean mixture. Cook on low 2-3 hours.

Lazy BBQ Pork

1 container of Costco’s pre-cooked and shredded pork

1 onion

1 bottle Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce (don’t sub in another brand!)

Heat pork in microwave for about half the time. Sautee the onion, and add to crockpot. Add the bbq sauce and pork. Heat on low 2-3 hours, can keep on warm until you serve it to prevent overcooking.

Lazy Spaghetti Sauce—Triple Batch

6 lbs of ground beef

6 jars of spaghetti sauce—I prefer the taste of organic sauce

6 lb can of drained diced tomatoes, undrained

3 large cans of drained mushrooms—the size from Safeway

1 large can of tomato paste—the size from Safeway

6 onions, chopped

3 green peppers, chopped

8 TBS jarred garlic

1/2 bottle of red wine—omit if you don’t care for the taste. The alcohol burns out during the cooking process.

Brown beef, onions, garlic, and peppers. Drain. Add the rest of the ingredients. Split the mixture between 3 or 4 large (5-6 quart) crockpots and cook on high for 5-6 hours. Freezes well!

Here is the recipe for Janelle’s coconut curry chicken: http://tastykitchen.com/recipes/main-courses/slow-cooker-coconut-chicken-curry/

Johnny Citizen

2012-01-13T15:47:00.000-08:00

It happened again this morning. As I approached the two way stop on our street (we have the right away) I slowed down to turn. The driver mistakenly took this slow down to mean I had a stop sign, and proceeded into the intersection right as I entered without even looking. I almost got hit--again--and this time I was furious. It made me realize that I send a text to Lance at east once or twice a week saying that I almost got hit.

So I got on the horn, and I called the city. I was transferred twice, and finally got to the right department. The lady was exceptionally nice and helpful. She stated that they are backlogged due to budget cuts, but that a survey crew could come out in 3-6 months, assess the situation, put if before the City Council, and hopefully they would rule to install the signs based on the data.

It wasn't a great answer, but at least it would take care of the problem. I would just have my hand on the horn as I entered the intersection for the next few months.

And then she called back. I don't know if I sounded like a crazed mom ( I explained that I had Beezie in the car this morning), or if there were prior complaints...but the Traffic Gods smiled down upon me, and they are going to be out in the next 2-3 weeks to install "Cross Traffic Does Not Stop" signs on the stop signs.

7 years of complaining taken care of with one call. Why didn't I call sooner? I feel like I should win some sort of citizenship award. A "Great Neighbor/Fabulous Front Porch Display" award at the very least.

Let the Competition Begin!

2012-01-08T19:41:00.000-08:00

Okay--Flab to Fit 2012 is officially in motion. After input from different people, I think I am going to stick with the original point system. There are no men in the contest, so I think the playing field should be even. I know this won't work for people not wanting to really lose wight or exercise (those people do exist!) but I think this is the only way to make it work for the majority of the contestants.

How to enter:

1. Send $10 via Paypal to my Yahoo email address. If you don't know my email, leave a message in the comments section and I'll get in touch with you. Or find me on Facebook and send me a message: http://facebook.com/TheMostess

2. Once you send in the money, go to Myfitnesspal and create an individual account. Be sure to note your username. My username is: themostess.

3. Send the username to me at my Yahoo email address, or at Facebook, and I will add you to the "FlabtoFit" group on Myfitnesspal. Here we can track our weight loss and fitness goals, post updates, post messages, pictures (Tiffany's butt--you go, girl!) etc as a group.

Official Rules:

1. The contest begins on Monday, January 9th and ends 6 weeks later on Sunday, February 19th.

2. If your goal is weight loss, record your starting weight on Monday, January 9th in the morning before breakfast. Record your stats, and keep them on record for yourself. No need to share.

3. If your goal is to gain points by exercising, start recording the amount of time spent working out on Monday, January 9th in the morning.

4. You get one point for each pound lost, and one point for each hour of continuous exercise.

5. We will determine the winner via the Myfitnesspal account on Monday, February 20th. The winner will then get the whole pot of loot. Cha-ching!

Thanks to all--good luck!! Let me know if you have any questions!

Flab to Fab

2012-01-05T20:16:00.001-08:00

I think Kristina is on to something. She wrote that we should have a competition to see who can use their treadmill the most in the new year. That got me thinking....

Flab to Fab

$10 to enter
6 weeks--starting on Monday, January 9th
Exercise, diet--whatever it takes to lose the weight

At the end of the 6 weeks, whoever lost the most weight wins all the money.

Who's in??

New Years and Napa

2012-01-04T22:55:00.000-08:00

Our friends like to party. You may have realized this by now. The only thing we like more than partying is competing. You may have also realized this by now. We compete over cookies, strength, pumpkin carving, gokart racing, decorating....the list goes on and on.

Our lovely friends over at Team Andersen decided to up the ante and stage a "Mr. and Mrs. 2012" competition. I knew in advance the winners would get matching sweatsuits adorned with logos declaring them the winners. I wanted them so badly it hurt.

We brought our 'A' game. This included matching sweaters (the oft alluded to argyle sweaters)

Great faces at charades

A wildly entertaining and horribly undervalued Matrix skit. I say undervalued because I'm kind of certain half the people in the room had never see the movie. No worries, weirdos. It was only the most influential and groundbreaking movie of the 90's.

A rousing round of the Not So Newlywed Game. This was a *real* blast. One of the questions was to identify a not-so-nice name I called Lancer when I'm mad. He had nothing, so he wrote down ASSFACE. For the record, I have never referred to him as ASSFACE. This was awesome because Tyler Carter saw it, and now thinks I'm a ball buster of a wife.

Haha! Look at ASSFACE over there!

A dance-off, for which we have no photos because the person on camera duty was less than stellar.

In the end, our efforts were for naught. The Grays took 3rd place. The Andersens took 2nd place. Yes, they tried to win at their own party. I judge them for this. And, last and most certainly least, 1st place went to these jokers.

They paraded their matching suits around the room. That's cool. Because when they dance, they look like this. I'm not sure you can attach 'winner' to anything that looks like....that.

You can read the full account HERE. It's good stuff.

After such a crushing loss, we headed to Napa to lick our wounds and regroup. We stopped in at Taylor's Automatic Refresher. A milkshake helped.

So did a set of spicy pulled pork tacos with a side of sweet potato fries.

And a grilled cheese sandwich

A visit from a friendly dog also helped out.

B ran around their spacious field. She captivated kids and adults alike with her outgoing personality and fetching striped pants.

Despite such a faux sour end to 2011 (suck it, Carters!!) I'm really looking forward to 2012. I don't really have any goals to speak of. In general, I would like to be healthier, eat tastier food, and most importantly...continue to have fun and live it up with Beezie. Let's go Twenty-Twelve!

HO HO HO

2012-01-02T01:13:00.001-08:00

Santa came to visit. It's almost 2 am, and this needs to be quick and dirty. Expect my next post to be jam packed with wittiness and hilarity. It may or may not involve a dance-off, charades, and a slow-mo photo of me kicking a battery out of Lance's hands. This post is only for the sake of recording Christmas for Beezie and future posterity. Ho Freaking Ho. Let's move, people!

Christmas Eve, we hosted a Taste of Italy buffet at our place. Fun and tasty. I likes doing this. I think I'll make it a tradition. I especially liked it when strangers at the store noted my Italian items, and asked me if my party was because I'm Italian. To quote Chandler Bing, could I be any more Scandinavian looking?? I just like carbs. Sue me.

I did a baked ziti and people brought spaghetti, chicken picata, some GF Olive Garden knockoff that was outstanding, and other assorted Italian favorites.

All of the children acted like they had never seen bread before. It's pretty much the only thing any of them ate.

The next morning we all slept in. We have routinely been sleeping until an unmentionable hour (but only because it will anger all of you) every morning as a family. It's been heavenly. Little Lady rolled out of her crib with some serious bedhead.

Santa had left a little stroller with a brand new baby in it for Beezie. She was delighted beyond measure--it was the runaway hit of the day.

First up, we did stockings. This is our family tradition--each person takes a turn taking an item out before we rotate to the next person. When we were little, we spent Christmas with a family, and they all dumped their stocking out at once, and opened all of their gifts like wild animals. We were horrified.

B was excited to have the dog gate removed so she could move in on Santa. I'm surprised he still has a candle and/or head attached. A delicate flower she is not.

Since we got a new heater and sprung for A/C, we went small for each other. I got Lancer some giftcards (Amazon and iTunes), a personalized photo calendar, and other assorted goodies. I got an electric can opener. This may seem like a lameski gift, but it's not. Let's not forget that I cook in big batches, and in doing so, I open about 20 cans at a time. Lancer had to "help" me with the cans for my white chicken chili at the cookie party, and TA-DA, an electric can opener showed up on my doorstep. By help I mean he complained the entire time, and begrudgingly cranked open the tin cans for me, while complaining of hand cramps.

Donnie was kind enough to spring for some vintage NKOTB comic books from the 80's. I'm going to write in and ask for the Magic Summer jacket advertised in the back just to see if it shows up. Wish me luck!

Beezie caught on quickly, just like she did on her birthday. Wrapped gifts equals booty for her. She wasted no time getting to the goods. Naturally, she had to try and crawl in the box.

Playing with her new play food. She follows us around the house naming the food. Banana? Banana? Banana?

After presents, we feasted on holiday breakfast and my homemade cocoa. I love holiday breakfast, because it has everything you need. It's like an omelet on top of hash browns. Mmm. I've been eating it for breakfast all week long.

Beezie approved

While those two snoozed the day away, I was busy in the kitchen. I did a glazed ham, cheesy potatoes, cranberry Jell-o dish, corn pudding, and a GF chocolate cake.

We went over to The Andersen's for a low-key dinner. On the way in my boot caught on their sidewalk, and I went down HARD. Like split my crockpot clean in half hard. Thankfully, a replacement insert is only $15. Now that I have my electric can opener, I'm unstoppable. I can't let a broken crockpot get me down.

The Spread

The complete meal

I made Brooke's "secret" cheesy potatoes. Halfway through dinner, I realized they're just freaking funeral potatoes. Nice try, Brooke! Still delicious, of course, but let's call a spade a spade.

After dinner, the kids played until a record 11 pm. Beezie loved Kai's new picnic table. Naturally she sat on top, and tried to jump off.

The mini-tramp is always a big hit

Thanks to our fabulous family and friends! We had such a fun and relaxing Christmas Eve and Christmas Day--minus the bruised knees, scraped hand, and broken crockpot. Till next year, everyone! Merry Christmas to all...and to all a goodnight!

Vacation Rules

2011-12-29T01:15:00.000-08:00

Not vacation rules as in rules for vacation. I mean vacation RULES!

We had a great Christmas. It was fun and mellow and full of great food. I'll get to that in the next post. First, let's cover the fun stuff we've been up to on vacation!

We hit up Pescadero--one of our favorite haunts. First stop was the beach for some fun in the sun--er, sun mingled with bitter cold winds that slapped me in the face upon exiting the car.

I love how this knit beanie showcases her adorable curls

Beezie's favorite new trick--being a tiny dancer. If you tell her do her twinkletoe dance moves, she breaks out into a baby jig.

We ran into our good friend Robert Bradshaw in the general store, and he told us to hit the goat farm up the road.

All of the cheeses are laid out in the room, and you can sample each one. I got a wheel of the cranberry topped fresh cheese. SO tasty.

We also hit up the Dinosaurs Unearthed exhibit in Berkeley. They had lifesize animated dinos. It was worth every penny.

We lucked out in the weather department again--it was absolutely gorgeous, and the exhibit was on top of this hill with the best views around.

B enjoyed all of the free space to roam around in the sun

We hit up the Monterey bay Aquarium, and had J tag along for the fun. She came in handy when it was time to take pics.

They had a great time, and J was a big help. How do I get my hands on a helpful and well mannered 5 year old to help me around the house?

Ta-da! That's what we've been up to.

Holiday Happenings

2011-12-21T01:56:00.001-08:00

When I said this month has been a blur of candy, lights, shopping, wrapping, shipping, cooking, eating, and celebrating I wasn't yanking your chain. We've been busy little holiday bees. Here's what we have been up to.

Christmas In The Park in downtown San Jose

It's fun and festive. They have a bunch of moving outdoor displays, plus Santa and the Mrs.

We bundled up, grabbed Auntie Sharla, and headed downtown to enjoy the festivities.

I'm contractually obligated to wear my hair in Swiss Miss braids when I don my white parka. It's a tradition I started in Switzerland, and I'm not about to give it up now.

I'm still plagued by this never ending cold, but I couldn't give up a quick smooch with Lancer

B was dazzled by the lights, colors, sounds, and moving displays. She wasn't quite sure what to make of it all, but we knew she liked it.

This is totally going to be our Christmas card in 2012. Watch out for it next year!

After the display downtown, we walked over to check out Lancer's new building. Here's the view from his rooftop balcony.

They have a gorgeous tree in the lobby. His building is fancy schmancy.

I went to see a Christmas Carol with Sharla and Kristine at the San Jose Rep. It was SO good, and totally got me in the holiday spirit.

No Ba Humbug here!

Enjoying a tasty dinner at PF Changs

We picked up some fancy double decker holiday hot chocolates. Underneath the mountain of whipped cream, it was just instant hot chocolate--the 'just add water' kind. Lame!

Then we found time to goof around in Santa's sleigh.

I displayed my new hand-pained, kid-friendly creche from Sri Lanka. I love-love-love this new creche. It's about time because Beezie had nearly broken all the pieces in my old creche. Sorry, Mom! Nothing a little hot glue can't fix.

Lance did some cool night shots. I had all of the lights up for the cookie party, but I hadn't gotten anything photographed. He done good.

My vintage blow mold gingerbread men with colored lights--they look like candy. Love!

My new favorite piece this year--a vintage blow mold Santa that is currently on top of our roof by the chimney. I love this guy, even though I broke off his pipe loading him into my car. Ugh.

The whole house--see the glowing Santa on the roof? You can see him from down the street. Ho-ho-ho.

We checked out the Fantasy of Lights

B and Kai cemented their love with a little hand holding

I look huge because I'm wearing Lance's coat. I didn't gain 100 lbs from those 4 turkeys, I swear.

All the kidlets bundled up--they had fun.

Beezie showed off her running skills. And I thought this kid was FAST on her knees. I had no idea what I was in for!

We bundled up again and did the lights at Vasona park. You just hang out in your car with the windows or sunroof rolled down.

B was all ready to go, but she fell asleep right as we entered the park, so we let her sleep and enjoyed the light show, along with some adult conversation.

We hosted a holiday dinner with our fancy holiday finery

Did a little gingerbread house decorating with the kiddios. So fun. Naturally, B and Kai found the bed, and began jumping like little monkeys.

The guys helped a TON. No, really, they were super helpful.

Time to decorate those houses!

Here's B's completed house. I may have helped a tad.

B helped herself to handfuls of candy. I didn't object--tis the season.

And that about covers what we've been up to this holiday season. Looking forward to the next few weeks with family and friends. Till then!

First Annual Jingle Jam

2011-12-21T00:51:00.000-08:00

Who doesn't want a house full of friends and kiddios? I know I do. Behold--our first annual Jingle Jam!

Basically, everyone descends on our house for 4 hours, and removes every single toy from every single location in our house while we eat food and dance the day away.

The day started out with my "famous" pulled pork sandwiches for the moms. I usually roast my own pork shoulder, but I'm tired. It's mid-December. Who has energy or time to spare? So I used Costco's pre-cooked pulled pork, 2 onions, and 2 bottles of Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce. As the label says, the sauce is the boss. It's what sets a good bbq pork sandwich apart from a great bbq pork sandwich.

The kids got their usual fare--dino nuggets, fruit candies, juice, crackers...you know the drill. This was not a fancy party.

Let the party begin! Beezie kicked things off by trying to crush her house. She tries to ride everything. So weird.

The kids had a blast playing with one another, and all of the B's toys.

Andrew entertained Beezie with silly faces that I'm sure she will imitate down the line. This kid needs an older brother.

The moms kicked back and enjoyed a fun morning of holiday revelry.

Beezie and Kai Kai disappeared for a few minutes...guess what they were up to?

Mess making shenanigans of epic proportions!! These two are in cahoots, I tell you! Don't let their fair Scandinavian faces fool you.

B lorded over her mess with pride.

Her face of pride

After lunch, we did a gift exchange, which the kids loved. We got a cute ice-cream cone ornament. Score!

Thanks everyone for a rockin good time. We hope to see all of you rocking around the Christmas tree next year!

7th Annual Cookie Swap--AKA Hayley's Redemption

2011-12-16T17:10:00.000-08:00

Cookie Time is always big around these parts. This year was my 7th annual cookie swap. It may or may not have been two weeks ago now. I have no idea what day or month it is, or what I've been doing until 2 AM for the last weeks, but it sure wasn't blogging. It's a blur of parties, trees, lights, and candy.

Partying is hard biz with a baby whose "job" consists of following you around making messes where once things were clean and orderly. But I prevailed like the party girl that I am, and threw this party like a seasoned pro. Probably not, but nobody likes a Negative Nelly, right?

Let's start with the judges. It's the same crew as always. They're seasoned professionals, though I'm contemplating flying Greg out next year since he takes his role as a judge very seriously. Seriously, Greg. It's always the first Sunday in December. Pencil me in now!

The judges consist of a professional chef, 2 amazing cooks, one amazing baker, and 2 everyday gents who decide what the masses would like. I won't tell you who's who...expect that Lancer is one of the everyday gents. His proximity to me automatically makes him a judge. Lucky him! And, hey, maybe the other dude is a great baker or cook. Invite me over for a gourmet meal, and I may upgrade you to "great cook" next year.

It's a tough job. It really is. I would puke about 12 cookies in, and they had to eat 34 of them. Oh my Pepto.

The ladies stepped up the competition, and baked up some tasty offerings. Here they are on display in their sugary glory.

As the judges ate, deliberated, and tallied up the votes, we got to sit around and enjoy a tasty dinner. This year, I made white chicken chili. Everyone asked for the recipe, so here it is:

Nanny's White Chicken Chili

3 cans of white northern beans, drained and rinsed
1 medium onion, chopped
3+ cloves garlic
2 4oz cans green chilies, diced
1 1/2 t ground cumin
1 t cayenne pepper--omit if you don't like the heat
1 t oregano
1/2 t salt
One whole cooked chicken, shredded
1 large (49 oz can or box) chicken broth
1 cup water

Put all ingredients in the crockpot, and cook on High 3-4 hours. Serve with grated white cheese (Jack, Muenster, Mozzarella) and corn chips.

The lovely bakers

Somebody even burnt their hand on a hot pan. Settle down, girl! It's not like you're vying for an Ultimate Grand Supreme title--though I think you would rule mini-guns.

The judges came out and delivered the anxiously awaited results.

The lovely and talented baker Natalia placed third. She has placed every single year for the last 5 years. Her tree now has 5 gingerbread ornaments to serve as reminders of her greatness.

Candace won second place this year. Last year, she placed first, and three years ago she placed second. She is clearly a talented baker as well.

And the first place prize goes to....the long-suffering, always-the-bridesmaid-never-the-bride, multiple loser......HAYLEY ATWOOD!!! PS...your hair looked fab!

She was so excited to win that she hugged my family out of sheer joy. Beezie found this suspect....because she clearly remembered last year, when Hayley was ALL KINDS of crazy about losing for the 4th year in a row.

In case you needed a visual reminder about her breakdown. See below.

The winners showing off their prizes. I loved each and every piece I gave away this year, and thought twice about squirreling them away in the Party Shed, and giving them crap prizes instead. This is always my litmus test to see if the prizes are good. They were.

The swap begins while the boys eat some dinner, and dodge the angry ladies who felt cheated. This scene is always awkward.

Thanks to all who made the 7th Annual Cookie Swap a sweet and tasty success. But mostly I would like to thank the judges who made Crazycakes Hayley the first place winner. I feel like January through November of 2012 will be much more enjoyable without her constant bellyaching and ballyhooing. That makes me the real winner. Now give me back that gorgeous red pedestal bowl!

Hanging My Head In Shame

2011-12-06T01:18:00.000-08:00

Dunzo?? I don't know. My laptop got hit with a virus before I could verify!

Me: Lance, help me! I got a horrible virus on my brand new laptop. It blocked me from accessing the internet, and wiped my data!

Lance: That's horrible! How did that happen? Did you download a compromised file?

Me: I didn't download anything! I was just on a normal webpage when I got a security alert, and then my computer crashed.

Lance: What site??

Me: Just a gossip site.

Lance: What kind of gossip site?

Me: Just a general one.

Lance: I'm going to need the name so I can submit a security report.

Me: Er, Lipstick Alley.

Lance: Lipstick Alley??? What the??

Me: Yep, just plain ol' Lipstick Alley.

Lance: The main site? What page were you on?

Me: Well, it was a NKOTB gossip thread. You see, I heard Donnie broke up with his longtime (brunette/total doppelganger of his ex-wife) girlfriend, and......

2.5 hours, numerous scans, lots of "what did that guy in India just say???" and more $$ than I care to discuss, and I'm still not sure my laptop is virus free.

I learned a valuable lesson tonight. That lesson is to only read craptastic gossip threads on your iPad, because they're less prone to viruses.

PS--Donnie, if you're reading this, do me a solid and let me know if you broke up with the ol' ball and chain. I didn't get far enough into the thread to verify. You're the best!

Top Ten of 2011

2011-12-01T23:46:00.000-08:00

This is one of my favorite posts to do. As the year rolls along, I make mental notes about songs--I love them, I hate them, the lyrics are so lame they offend me, or so great they inspire me. Here goes.

Best Songs of 2011

Adele--Rumor Has It, Someone Like You, Rolling In The Deep. 2011 belonged to Adele--no doubt about it. The raw emotion on her songs is powerful and moving. I sometimes feel like a creepy stalker reading her diary when I listen to Someone Like You.

Snow Patrol--Called Out In The Dark. Best song of the year. Hands down. Watch it HERE.

Good Feeling--Flo Rida. A departure from his earlier sound. Mostess liki.

Mr. Saxobeat--Alexandra Stan. Of course I have to have at least one Euro techno song that will confuse all of my readers. This is that song.

Selena Gomez--Love You Like a Love Song. For shame. Embarrassing, yes, but still better than a Miley Cyrus song. Party in the USA, anyone??

Lil Wayne--How to Love. Not really a fan of his, but I love this song. Good lyrics, and tight beats.

Bruno Mars--Grenade. I love this song. Emotional, powerful, great voice.

Blow--Kesha. Yeah, yeah, I trashed her last year. But this song rules.

Born This Way--Gaga. My one and only entry for her. Adele is the new IT girl. Step aside, Gaga.

Make Some Noise--Beastie Boys. Because it's the Beastie Boys, that's why.

The Worst of 2011

Edge of Glory/Judas/You and I--Gaga. Why? Why? Why? Wasted potential. It sounds like a Cher album.

In The Dark--Dev. I think it's obvious why this song is on here. Stupid lyrics--what guy thinks it's sexy when a woman says "open my body up and do some surgery."

Colbie Caillat--Brighter Than the Sun. A repeat offender. Seems like she would be popular in Provo. Makes me glad I went to a Catholic University in SF.

Novocaine--Frank Ocean. Easily the worst song of the year. I'm so glad this song came and went quickly. Best line--"She's doing porn in the valley--at least she workin." Um, no.

Hold it Against Me--Britney. I can't wait for her next single "Is Your Dad a Baker Because You Have Great Buns."

S & M/California King Bed--Rihanna. You know that girl that tries too hard to be the bad girl? Yeah, that's Rihanna. And don't even get me started on her mattress song. Was her album sponsored by Sleep Train?

Lazy Song--Bruno Mars. Today, I don't feel like doing anything....like listening to this crap song, for instance.

Friday Song--Rebecca Black. Makes me pissed that the internet was invented.

Party Rock Anthem/Sexy and I Know It--LMFAO. Please go away. Please. Don't flood my 2012 list with crap music.

Around My Head--Cage the Elephant. We get it. You're artsy and edgy. You're also lame and boring.

Thoughts? Do you agree? Disagree? Hate me because I bagged on Gaga? Mad that The Biebs didn't make either list with his Christmas album?? Let's hear it!

Past lists Here, Here, and Here.

3 Birds...and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

2011-11-28T00:17:00.001-08:00

We did 3 birds this year. Why 3? Because we partied...a lot. Here's the Turkey-Day rundown.

Bird #1

This was for the Gray's Thanksgiving feast. It was a moist and tasty bird. I not only rubbed the entire thing with complementary herbs...I injected it with a delicious mix of herbs, chicken broth, and butter. Pardon the hair and fugly outfit. I clean up nicely, I swear!

I contributed a few dishes. I made my delicious GF cornbread stuffing for the masses. This recipe is great, even if you don't do gluten-free.

I also did Brooke's famous creamed corn. Let's be honest--this thing is a hot bowl of cream cheese and butter with a side of corn. It's SO good!

I also did my GF chocolate cream pie. It's so tasty. I only made one--on purpose.

As I baked, I downed this stuff. Organic Strauss Family Creamery Egg Nog. It's $7 a bottle, and I can only find one bottle per year. It's totally worth the pricetag, and double chin. It's soooo good.

Lancer cheered me on while I baked and cooked away. He was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of ads for Black Friday. He couldn't stop talking about how many ads there were.

Beezie, on the other hand, had no problem researching the best deals as she ate waffles atop the stack of papers.

We packed up our trunk with all of the tasty delights, and headed over to Casa de Gray. I told you I cleaned up nicely! Mamma just needs a flatiron.

I wore my tiny pumpkin pie charm to celebrate the day. It's so cute!

Smooches to Lancer. Thanksgiving marks ten years together. Unbelievable! Thanksgiving 2001, baby. It was epic.

We played

We carved the birds--and made stupid faces. I think Yo's face is European for "This Diet Coke is delicious. Mmmm."

Giggled with friends

We feasted

We learned "new" and "helpful" tricks from Sarah--no doubt pointers on staying up late, escaping your bedroom, stripping down to your undies, and waking up sleeping household members. B soaked it up like a sponge.

"Beezie, clothing is for losers. Naked is where it's at."

Bird #2

I spent so much time whipping, shopping, blending, roasting, and then cleaning up for hours on end that I just couldn't do a "real" bird for the subsequent gatherings. Enter Jenny-O Freezer to Oven turkeys. These babies are a Godsend! No thawing, giblets bags, turkey necks, or poultry thermometers. Just stick the frozen bird in the oven, and retrieve it four painless hours later.

Not bad, eh?

Let's just pretend that it doesn't cook in this weird heat-resistant plastic bag. Look away.

The Andersens invited us over for a Post-Thanksgiving Veg-Out. Lancer kept calling it the "Gobble-Gobble" for some reason. I think this should be the new name for this lovely event.

The ladies of the Gobble-Gobble

The invite specifically stated that no showering was allowed, and that partygoers had to be wearing comfy sweats. We pooled together all of our leftovers, and feasted again. I wore clothing that was both sporty, and expandable.

See-sporty and expandable

Somewhere along the line, we all decided Lancer was the Master Carver. We made him carve all of the birds. He is a good man.

The tasty spread at the Gobble-Gobble

We played, chatted, and feasted like kings. Again.

Black Friday was less exciting than years past. I was planning on hitting stores at Midnight--yes, I'm one of those--but my cold was starting to kick back up again. I learned my lesson from the midnight showing of Breaking Dawn. No good comes after 12 if you're trying to beat a cold. So I stayed home and slept in. I did, however, snag a new Dell laptop online. My craptastic HP died a few weeks ago, and Lancer and I were sharing a laptop--until it broke up with me on account of dirty fingers and misfiled photos. It's for the good of our marriage. I also got a new Nikon camera. It will be my daily use camera that I can keep in my back pocket.

On Saturday, we took a break from turkey and headed up to SF. We stopped in at The Ferry Building--it's one of our favorite stops.

We dined at Gott's Roadside

Lancer and I both got the smoked pork carnitas tacos, sweet potato fries, and a grilled cheese sammi for Beezer. Thumbs up all around--though they changed the formula for the fries, and the old one was decidedly better.

I decided against my normal chocolate milkshake, because I knew the Ferry Building would hold other sweet treats. I was right. Behold...The Cowgirl Creamery Milk Bar.

We had a Goldilocks moment. My Ho-Cho was too bitter, and Lance's vanilla milk was too sweet. We grabbed a 3rd glass, mixed them, and the result was just right.

After we got our drink on, we headed outside to see the Bay Bridge. We decided that it's a majestic beauty, but it's sadly the ugly stepsister to the Golden Gate. No one gives it the respect it deserves.

The plan was to hit HMB on the way home to grab a tree. However, the weather turned, and we decided to just go to the crap tree farm around the corner.

But somebody wasn't having it. Two seconds before MELTDOWN.

So I dropped off those two, and went to an even worse place to get a tree...the Rite-Aid parking lot. It's a serious step down from our romantic adventures in HMB. But sometime you gotta do what you gotta do to just git er done.

I used my guns to load and unload the tree by myself. I drove so slowly people honked and went around me. I was paranoid that it was going to fly off my car and kill a small child on a bike. It didn't.

Our little tree. Before....

.....and after!

and After-After. We had to put up the protective dog gate after B tried to eat an ornament. She was also eying Mrs. Claus.

But, wait! What about bird #3?? Yes, I did a third and final bird tonight. We had the Andersens over for a Round Three. I cooked up another birdy-bird, and we feasted. Again.

Lancer was actually angry by this point. He wanted to retire his fancy Calphalon carving set, but we put him to work.

This is how I eat my Thanksgiving dinner--by creating mini turkey sammis. Start with GF bread, then add the potatoes, stuffing, turkey, cranberry sauce, and dip that baby in gravy. So tasty!

And that concludes the roasting and eating of the three birds. Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good night.

Mash-Up 2.0

2011-11-23T17:51:00.000-08:00

A truly amazing mash-up featuring songs by the lovely and talented Adele. This song will be fueling my cooking this evening. Enjoy!

Mash-Up

2011-11-21T22:24:00.000-08:00

I have several bits of news, along with my numerous thoughts on life and celebrities. Plus, a few new things I love.

It's been a rough week in the sick department here at Team Jacobs. Lance and I both came down with gnarly colds two weekends ago. Lancer had to fly to PDX last Monday night, and that resulted in a burst eardrum. No more flying. He had to take a train home.

"Trains" to us mean delightful Euro trains. Amtrack ain't European. In fact, according to Lance, it's barely a step up from Greyhound. Lesson learned--do not fly when you are sick. Unless you get "super sick" on a flight to NYC, happen to have your lovely wife with you, and have to remain grounded in Manhattan for a week while your ears recover. That sounds terrible.

Lancer--in better times. Germany to be exact. Oh, how I miss Europe!

We are no longer candidates for carbon monoxide poisoning. And by that I mean we got a brand spanking new furnace....against our will.

We tried to kick the heat on a few weeks ago, and it wouldn't turn on. A guy came out to fix it, and mentioned that the heat exchange was cracked. How hard can that be to repair?? Impossible, it tuns out, when the company went out of business 30 years ago. Yes, 30. Because our furnace was 45 years old. On the positive side of things, it lasted 3 times longer than expected. Bonus--I guess.

Since we were doing the heat, we decided to get a quote for air conditioning. I have no idea where my varied readers live, but air conditioning is a hot (pardon the pun) commodity in the Bay Area. It's a luxury that most people don't have. We've been in our little abode for 7 years now, and every summer we sweat and suffer through a few heatwaves. Well, folks, the suffering has come to an end. We decided to toss in a new A/C unit. Hallelujah.

Party at my place all summer long! Now if I could only talk Lance into a small therapy pool for my year round water aerobics. The Endless Pool Waterwell would suffice. I've done my research.

My dream come true

Any of my readers looking to build me one of these? I can trade you cool nights on my couch in return for your labor.

My new favorite show is Homeland. It features an American hero who may be anything but. It stars the lovely Claire Danes as a savvy but half crazy agent, who's a bit of a loose cannon. She cries a lot.

Everytime the waterworks turn on, I pretend that she's bawling over the hot but half-witted and illiterate Jordan Catalano.

You don't have to read when you're this hot!

Speaking of delicious. How tasty is Starbucks' salted caramel mocha??

You should ask me, because they have accidentally given me coffee 6 TIMES NOW WHEN I HAVE ORDERED A SALTED CARAMEL HOT CHOCOLATE. Get it together, Starbucks! Don't make me threaten to boycott you. Such a claim would be fruitless, and only punish me in the end. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me six times, shame on me. Like, six embarrassing times over.

Have you all discovered the goodness of gummi vitamins??

Where have they been my whole life?? I love these things. They have Daily Multi-Vitamins, Vitamin C, Calcium, Pre-Natals (not an announcement) and even fiber! I gobble these babies up, and pretend that I'm suffering for my health. Don't be fooled. They're delicious! Well, the calcium ones have kind of a creepy sugar coating, and the grape ones taste like crap, but they're still better than drinking milk all day. Unless it's hidden in a Starbucks Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate, of course.

Safeway Home Delivery

Does anyone do this?? Why aren't we all doing this?? You get the same low prices, and they drop it off at your door. It's only $6 extra for a one hour window, $4 extra for a 2 hours window, and $3 for a 3 hour window. This is my new plan for grocery shopping. Of course, I'll still have to haul my tuckus to Trader Joe's, Costco, and Whole Foods every week. But if I can knock out the main grocery shopping where the delivery fee is the same price as one totally incorrect Starbucks drink, why not.

Moving on to celebrities.

Christina Auguleria. Look--I had a kid, and the weight is hard to keep off. I feel you. However--I would suggest not parading around in weird bandage dresses and sparkly leotards. It's not a good look.

Jlo. You have the worst taste in men. The worst! This guy is a 24 year old backup dancer.

How did that turn out for you the first time?? Oh, right. Paging Chris Judd.

Not to mention that you are a forty something mother, thrice divorced. Maybe you should date someone your own age. And someone who doesn't look like Steve-O from Jackass. Or, better yet, don't date at all.

Kim. Oh, Kim.

I'm going to give you a break because I feel like I hastily broke up with The YMCA without thinking through the repercussions. Whoopsies. Jazzercise was awesome, but the childcare is really meant for school aged kids doing homework, not for nutty babies. It sucks because I love it. The teacher even sent me a postcard telling me I was a great dancer. Doi! Sadly, I may be crawling back to the Y. But you better bet your biddy I'll be demanding my $50 referral for Target either way! Just kidding about the break, Kim. You're a stupid skankwad.

Demi and Ashton. Sigh.He's a skeez. She turned a blind eye. The only real question I have is who told her that this wedding "dress" looked good? It was doomed from the start. Neckerchiefs never lead to anything good. Trust me on this one. I speak from experience in the 90's.

I better stop blogging, and start cooking. Turkey Day is only 2 days away, and I'm going to eat until I look like Christina. Without the spangly leotard, of course. I know how to hide my fat.

Breaking Dawn Party and Midnight Movie

2011-11-21T00:12:00.000-08:00

It's been suggested that Twi-Hards are some of the biggest crazies out there. This post will do nothing to dispel this notion.

Breaking Dawn--what we have all been waiting for!

I may have gone a tad bit overboard in the decorating department.

You mean you don't have a wall of Twilight??

Team Sparkle

Team Wet Dog

As the party carried on, we got slightly inappropriate with the cardboard characters while Lance hid out in his mancave. PS--check out my cute new boots!

I gave Beezie the choice between Team Edward and Team Jacob. She gave it some thought.

Eddie

or Jake?

She marched down the hall showing her choice. I've never been more proud.

Of course she chose Team Edward. She was raised well from an early age.

I have to admit Breaking Dawn was better the next night with 13 crazy friends, but it still wasn't great. We rolled home at 3 am, and my cold kicked back into high gear as punishment. It was worth it, though. Until next November!

Breaking Dawn--Showboating Edition

2011-11-16T23:53:00.000-08:00

Unlike previous years, Sharla and I weren't able to secure advanced screening passes for a Twilight film. It was sad being a commoner. It's not a place I like to dwell.

And then...I got a text letting me know there would be two tickets waiting for me tonight. Oh sweet day! I got to lord over the commoners again, and brag about my fortune with gusto, which is pretty much what my blog was created for.

I grabbed equally Twi-Crazed Sharla and headed up to SF. We looked for the seats in the reserved press section. It's old hat now.

Yeah, yeah....we're kind of a big deal...

We got a bunch of posters, which will come in handy for the party tomorrow night! I'm a little disappointed that Jacob has a shirt on. Rip it off, WolfBoy! Eddie, you can leave yours on.

The promoters were throwing out hats to the audience. I may have acted like a crazed nut to get one. Let's just say...I got one.

Okay, folks. Here's the nitty gritty. I didn't love the movie. But I also didn't love the book. I feel like the first three were all on the same page, and then the fourth book turned into a weird science fiction novel, complete with "tasty" blood shakes and uterus chomping vampbabies.

Things I had a beef with:

Edward was...not hot. Is it too late to switch teams?? He seemed pained and strained during the whole movie.

Jacob, on the other hand, was a hottie. But he was also emo and weepy, and emotionally unstable.

The hair--oh, the hair. Emmett had awful hair. Carlisle had awful hair. Edward in the wedding scene had awful hair--like 6 piecey pieces of bangs. What happened to the hot, tousled hair from Twilight?? I protest!

Bella is emaciated, sweaty, and half dead in most of the movie. It's unbecoming.

Renesemee. Worst. Name. Ever. Every time I hear it, it's like nails on a chalkboard.

Lame soundtrack.

THE BIG SCENE was a total letdown. I know they had to keep it PG-13 and all...but I felt it lacked in the chemistry department. Truthfully, I felt like the chemistry was hotter in the other movies. It's actually palpable when they first smooch in Twilight. This scene should have been amazing. There are even shirts dedicated to it.

I need this shirt

The upside is that we got to see more than I thought we would, which was a bonus. And the very last frame was cool--it leaves the audience excited for the last installment.

I'm looking forward to the party tomorrow night, as well as the midnight movie. I better get to bed, or I won't last! Break out your fangs, Twi-hards! The end is near!

The True Tale of Hooty

2011-11-13T21:43:00.001-08:00

It's official--I won the Display-Off. 3/5 votes with one vote still unaccounted for. I had all sorts of great ideas involving showboating and braggery, but I thought the untold story of Hooty was a better tale.

Have I got a tale for you...hoo...hooo...

I'm sure many of you thought it was strange that Ashley gave me the dreaded Hooty bird. After all, I had mocked it, guffawed at it, and called it a mass-produced piece of junk manufactured for the gauche masses. I was thoroughly annoyed that it was the PDR that put her over the top in Round One, and cinched her eventual win. Even our friends were blown away by Hooty. Oh, Hooty, how I despised thee.

As October wore on, I was dreading the arrival of the 10th. As many of you may or may not know, my sister passed away on 10/10/10 after a long battle with lupus. Though she had been sick for many years, she wasn't sicker than usual, and her death was a huge shock. Add on the fact that I had a newborn that was less than 2 weeks old, and I was a basket case. I wasn't able to attend her funeral because of Blakely, which didn't help things. At that time, Ashley was a great friend and true cheerleader. She brought me gluten-free apple pies (she had to chase down gluten-free Bisquick!) and treats, and cute cards with exceptionally funny and touching words.

Fast forward to the 10th this year. I woke up in a sad and somber mood, trying to get up the will to leave the house for the day. It was a beautiful and warm day as I stepped outside...and saw Hooty gracing my doorstep. I laugh and cried when I saw him on my step.

The best part was the fact that she did something thoughtful and nice with an undercurrent of funny mixed in.....totally Eriika. In fact, she has stood in for Eriika so many times this year I've lost count. I've run party menus by her, gift ideas, primary questions....all of the things I would have used Eriika for. She's been a true friend and sister to me in ways I cannot describe properly in person, or on paper, but I hope she has a inkling of how much her friendship means to me.

And that is the true tale of how the Hooty bird came to my house, and how he helped me cinch a hard-fought win. I didn't want to share the tale before and tip the scales in my favor out of pity--or worse, send the votes Ashley's direction for her friendly ways! Just kidding. Kind of.

So, thank you Ashley and Hooty for brightening my sad day, and for making my September-November a hilarious time when I needed cheering up the most. I smile and think of Eriika every time I pass him on the way in and out of my house. He's even better with his adorable Pilgrim's hat. I have a consolation prize for you that I suspect would make Bob Barker proud. Naturally, I bought one for myself, so we'll be all matchy-matchy. Just like sisters should be.

Round Three of the Display-Off: Bountiful Harvest

2011-11-08T15:23:00.001-08:00

This is the post to end it all. We have each won a battle, now it's time to see who will win the war. I present to you....Bountiful Harvest!

Who feels like the know my house by heart at this point? In keeping with previous entries, let's start as we walk up the pathway.

To the left you will find my first display

I absolutely love this display. It's so inviting to guests as they walk up the path to our house. Some favorite pieces are:

Crab apples in harvest basket

And seasonal grasses in tin bucket

As you round the corner, you see an overall view of the front of the house with the two additional displays.

This is the display to the left of the door

My crate packed full of seasonal goodies, and the requisite horn 'o' plenty. It's not November without a cornucopia of fall delights.

As promised in Round Two, I turned Hooty into a little pilgrim. He's perched on top of my vintage stove. This is my favorite piece in this particular display. I can't lie.

Here is the next (and last!) display to the right of the door.

There are a few great pieces in this display as well. Vintage milk jug filled with seasonal grasses

Vintage picnic basket filled with fall mums sitting atop vintage crate. I LOVE this piece! The colors really pop against the brown basket.

Raffia wrapped dried corn stalks nestled in my orange canister. Being from Iowa, this was a requirement in the display.

And that's all, folks!

Feel free to praise, trash, or do some combination of both. This round will be decided by a panel of qualified judges (read--light on Ashley's friends) who will be both fair and unbiased. No "I love candy, so Ashley wins" business going on in this ever-important round!

Bring it, Carter!! Let's see what you got!

Decisions, Decisions

2011-11-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

It's a little late to be blogging. What's that, you say? I have an extra hour? Let the blogging commence.

The other day B came out in purple pajamas with the top buttons undone to her navel. It was very Prince like. It got me wondering if anyone made Prince tees for kids. They do! I found this adorable shop that will come and save the day. I have a handful I'm drooling over.

Here's the onesie that started it all. It seems borderline inappropriate. I think I will pass on the Purple One.

The King of Pop

Beastie Boys--No Sleep Til Brooklyn

Depeche Mode--Enjoy the Silence

Safety Dance--We Can Dance if we Want to

Run DMC--You be Illin!

Billy Idol--Dancin With Myself

Lloyd Dobler--In Your Eyes

Beastie Boys--Fight for Your Right to Party

NKOTB--doi

U2--Joshua Tree

Naturally, I had to add a Smith Morrissey onesie. What a great band. That Smith Morrissey.

I'm torn between the onesies. At $15 a pop, I can justify 2. Weigh in, please!

Trick or Treat

2011-10-31T22:39:00.000-07:00

I promise this is my last pumpkin/costume/candy themed post heavy on pics of Beezie. Let's get down to brass tacks!

Our fun friends Carly and Yo volunteered to host a Halloween party. Correction: I kind of tricked them into doing it by buttering them up and mentioning that they "have a spacious home in a great neighborhood" that would be an excellent backdrop for our Halloween shenanigans. It was.

After a tasty dinner, we gathered up all of the kiddios and hit the pavement to collect candy.

B got a little cat from a kind lady who admitted to spending copious amounts of time and money in bowling alleys. That was a direct quote just in case you thought I was stereotyping her.

B got a nice little haul. Then it was back to the house to play with friends. B and her little friend Aubrey had a blast with this ball popper. Note to Santa.

Today was also her last day of preschool. Yes, you read that correctly. B goes to a little preschool in Sunnyvale. It's a Mommy 'n' Me deal once a week for an hour and a half. She absolutely loves it. Since it was Halloween, they had the kids come in partywear.

My Little Witchie

One of the teachers brought her daughter, and she spent all of her time dressing Beezie up in her costume props--a tiny hat and nerd glasses.

Colin is also in our class. They had a funny little exchange this afternoon. It was all in gibberish, but they knew what the other one was saying.

It was a beautiful day, and Blake spent the outdoor portion running around with a little car that she pushed back and forth. She finally figured out how to turn the car, so I no longer have to rescue her when she hits a fence or other roadblock.

The kids got to make little treat bags in class, and then we got to go through the offices trick or treating. They handed out lightweight gifts instead of candy--spider rings, stickers, and bubbles. Colin and B knew they had been gypped.

Happy Halloween everyone!! Thanks for all of the fun and festive adventures! See you on October 1st, 2012.

Now it's time to bust out the indian corn and horns of plenty. It will be a cornucopia of delight.

Spooky Fun

2011-10-31T00:09:00.000-07:00

We have been packing in the Halloween fun. Let's get movin--we have 2 additional parties tomorrow, so I have to get up to speed, or I'll be outdated forever.

First up--the Carter Family Pumpkin Carve-Off and Feats of Strength Party. You can call it CFPCO&FOSP for short. We missed last year, but to quote Steve Leeflang--it was a lot more fun than we thought it would be!

Here are our classy hosts, showing off their delectable and fancy cookies

Don't buy the image they're trying to project, folks. Ashley was pushing these fatty tater skins like they were going outta business. For the record--they were delicious, and the runaway hit from the well-stocked buffet table.

The aforementioned delicious buffet table

Hayley moved in, and did a grand dance showing her appreciation for the caramel dip and tater skins.

We took a photo to celebrate our cute, smooth hair

First up--the pumpkin carving! Everyone writes an adjective down on a piece of paper, and then you draw one. Your gourd has to be carved to reflect what you drew. We drew bootylicious.

Lancer hard at work carving our "masterpiece"

Ta-da! Our interpretation of bootylicious. Neither of us has any artistic genius when it comes to carving pumpkins. Sadly, B will be raised in a family that only does boring, run of the mill jack-o-lanterns.

Here are all of the pumpkin contenders

We lost. No surprise there. On to the feats of strength. Here's Ashley explaining how she doesn't mind being the heavy, and enjoys alientating her guests in the name of a good party.

Tyler drew up a bracket with everyone's names so we could keep track of the winners...and the losers.

I went arm to arm with the lovely Alie. We were in a brief stalemate....

.....but then she cleaned my clock. A loser--again.

By luck of the draw, Lancer went up against Alie's husband, Steve. They went 3 rounds. It was crazy!

Sadly, round 3 also ended in clock cleaning by Team Leeflang.

Look at them gloat! I approve. Actually, Ashley and Tyler won the party, so the Leeflangs came in second place. Whatevs! They went home with a giftcard to Xahn. They're winners in my book!

This was part of the prize package, so I was cool with losing.

Not really. I hate losing. I feel like Ashley in the Spooktacular Spectacular. It's a really sad and lonely place to be. Speaking of--thanks for a fun party! I'm going to start pumping iron so I can beat everyone next year.

On to the next big party. Our ward decided not to do a Halloween party, so we crashed the one in Sunnyvale. They were very welcoming.

B was a little gnome. I'm totally in love with this costume!

We went trick-or-treating door to door in the church. B was totally onto this whole candy collecting biz.

Mmmm. First suckers. B's a fan.

We also hit up the indoor trick-or-treating at Westgate. Same deal--put on your costume, meet up with friends, and then collect some delicious candy.

More candy.....

and balloons

Partying with our spooky little friends

We had a great time, even though it was packed. I will definitely make this part of our annual holiday list! B was all tuckered out.

We also had a Halloween bash with our playgroup on Friday. Kristine hosted--bravely, I might add.

The babies had a great time. Look how cute these 3 are!

Bennett finally learned to deflect Blake's paci-stealing antics. Last time, she jumped on his back, and took what she wanted. This time she tried--and was promptly deflected!

HIYA!!

Not so fast, Superman. Blakely decided that a coy approach was better. Look closely at this pic--she's casually stealing the crisps from his hand. Nice work, Blake!

We played a rousing game of "Where's Beezie?" This is her favorite way to pass the time.

Had fun with all of our little buddies, including taking a few swings at the pumpkin pinata!

Thanks for a super fun afternoon, Kristine. We are so fortunate to have you as friends!

We also hit up G & M Farms in Livermore. It was a very fun day, and we also got to have some time with Daddy!

She had so much fun running around the patch. She got dirty as all get out again. I love that she's not a super girly girl!

We got some Mom and B time in as well.

We also got to do some winging with Daddy. She was smitten--with the swinging, and her fun Daddy time.

Look at her face in this picture!

Naturally, we had to take a few turns on the slide as well. She has no fear--she will even go down steep slides like this face first. Just like Mamma!

The coolest part of the farm is this dried corn pit that you play in like sand. I'm from Iowa, so I totally felt at home.

Looking forward to Halloween tomorrow night! Thanks for all the spooktacular fun so far! If you made it this far, I will reward you with a poster on good handwashing hygiene just like the one from the party!

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

2011-10-27T21:06:00.000-07:00

It's official. I am divorcing the YMCA. Yes, once we were in love, and the Y was meeting all of my needs. Then the Y started deleting all of my favorite classes-I may or may not be referring to water aerobics.

Then I started changing. B is still taking 2 naps a day, and it's impossible to squeeze one in before, during or after her naps. She wakes up, we eat breakfast together, and then we head off for our daily morning adventures. After said adventures, we come home, eat lunch (occasionally chicken nuggets passed into the backseat) and then it's off to nap. Meanwhile, I'm homebound for the several hours while she naps. Forget a post dinnertime workout.

So here's my new plan of action

1. Break up with the Y.

2. Borrow my friends treadmill, as it's just taking up space in her garage. I can catch up on trashy shows while Little Lady Lance naps the afternoon away. Or after she goes down for the night. Win-Win!

3. Get my Jazz on again...at Jazzercise! Since I had B, a new studio opened up, and they have an afternoon class twice a week that offers childcare, and happens to be a mile from my house. Score!

4. Bust out the jogger, and hit the trails now that it's fall, and the weather is cooler.

The only thing I'm worried about is the latest Jazzercise gimmick--they show up and do flash mob dances in unexpected places. See the ladies in action at our beloved Santana Row! Since I will be a star dancer, I'm sure they'll expect me to lead one of these, and I'll have to come up with a clever excuse. Or disguise.

The worst part is that I convinced all of my friends that the Y was great, and they all joined. So many friends, in fact, that they promised to send me a Target giftcard as a thanks for referring my entire circle of friends to them, and they never paid up! YMCA, it's you, not me! You're cheap and unaccommodating. You may have all of my friends, but you shall never have me again!

Heroes VS Villains

2011-10-24T00:34:00.000-07:00

We had our annual Halloween party last night. It was a much smaller event than usual, but you won't hear any complaints from me on that front.

I was raring and ready to go as a villain. But then Lancer came up the genius idea to be the GREAT AMERICAN HERO Sully Sullenberger.

And what kind of wife would I be if I left the greatest pilot alive to land a plane in the Hudson all by himself? Presenting...Sully, and his trusty flight attendant! Totally heroic!

We pulled it off. Extra props to us for use of flight wings and fake mustaches. The best part was when Lance threatened to grow a mustache again, and I got to remind him about the last time he grew facial hair. He grew a fu man chu in Germany, and emboldened by his new stache, decided to do karate kicks and jumps in the mirror. He ended up kicking the bureau in the room, and hurting his leg. I think Bruce Lee was in on that.

The PDR of my costume was my sensible, no nonsense nude pantyhose. I wore them to church today to bring on the giggles, but I ended up sequestered in Primary, and nobody saw them. Plus I was super hot (not in a sexy way) and they had a run. Sheer Energy got the last laugh.

We had the usual cast of characters at the party:

My lovely co-hostess. She is a tiny woman in a large costume!

Villains!! I would be lying if I said I knew who Tim was.

2 villains, and one hero. Hey--Tyler stole my patented arm pose! I object. It does look nice, though.

I LOVE Inger's costume. Her barking dalmatian stole came with a disclaimer stating that it wasn't from a real dog. You don't say.

These two! They are a one trick pony with their poses. Awesome costumes, though! I think Ashley won for best female hero, and Tyler tied with Lance for best male hero.

April came up with crazy gross things for people to eat and drink. They pulled some truly awesome faces.

This crew had to drink bright green slime. They were all thoroughly grossed out.

And on that note, I bid you goodnight. Thanks for another great party! Happy Halloween!

My Victory Lap

2011-10-20T23:55:00.000-07:00

I'm no braggart. Just kidding--I totally am! It was a battle worth fighting for. You can read Ashley's hilarious concession speech here.

I haven't fought this hard for a title since I won Camp Queen in 1988. What's that, you say? Your Girls Camps didn't have a pageant? I pity the fool who didn't go to Girls Camp in the south. They have pageants for everything. My talent was fighting off mosquitos, and I wore a ballgown made from tablecloths and tissue paper. My virtue was Divine Nature, and my parting line was "I represent divine nature because I'm simply divine." I stole the show, and won the crowd. God bless Kentucky!

On a roll from my recent win, I was totally convinced that Lady Luck was on my side, and bought a raffle ticket for the "Have lunch with Donnie and Mark Wahlberg in Boston at the opening of their new burger joint Wahlburgers." Unfortunately for me--but fortunately for Donnie--I lost. The worst part is the chick who won is from NYC, and could simply hang out at the restaurant all day and night, and just casually run into Donnie anytime. Being a West Coast gal, I'm not afforded this option. I'm sure at some point Lance would notice that I was missing. Probably when he came home, and was greeted with silence when he asked "what's for deener" in his fake French accent.

So my win has been balanced with a devastating loss, which means order has been restored, and Round Three of the Display-Off--Bountiful Harvest--is up for grabs. Until I snatch up that title from Ashley, of course, and she begs for a Ho-Ho-Holiday Extravaganza, and a chance to even the score. Lemme guess--Hooty in a Santa hat. Sigh.

Uesugi Farms

2011-10-19T00:08:00.000-07:00

We headed down to Uesugi Farms for some pumpkin patch fun. It's mid-October...but it was HOT. The kids were sweaty, and the adults were red faced. Don't judge. We looked better when we left the house.

B had a great time...eating hay. Hay is the sand of the fall season. Beezie finds it delish and oh-so-tempting.

B turned into a dirty farm girl in less than 2 minutes. Hay on the knees and buns, dirt under the nails. She gets down n dirty. She's my lil' pigpen!

The twinners and Braden had a ball with B. She has no clue she's an only (so far) child. That's not a pregnancy announcement (Ashley!)

Ryan came along to give her butt a little pat. Nice work, Ryan! He was probably trying to dust her off. He's a nice, clean little boy.

We rode trains

And Cow Trains

And Hayrides

And Carousel Rides

And wheelbarrow rides

The hayrides had some amazing views--the farm is absolutely gorgeous this time of year!

This is their world-famous pumpkin pyramid.

We weighed B, and she won first place. Let's hope the trend continues, and I take the Spooktacular Spectacular! (Voting ends tomorrow. Cast your vote for your favorite display!)

We also played in the corn

After a nice long day of fall fun, the babies served us up with this...

....and that was our cue to head home. Until next year!

It Was a Graveyard Smash

2011-10-17T10:47:00.000-07:00

Round Two. I want that badge. Ashley is going down. And all of the other contenders, too, including Tyler, who, in a desperate bid, threw his kids in his tiny orange car and tried to pass if off like a real entry. No dice, Tyler! This is what a real Halloween display looks like. Cover your eyes in the scary parts.

Monster Mash

We will start with the display in the front yard. I love the little black cage housing the skeleton. I got it for $8 on clearance at TJ Maxx. I'm not sure its real purpose is, but it makes a fine rattling cage.

Here's a cool night shot of the spooky scene

Rounding the corner, you will see an undead creature rising up from the depths of hell. Or the Santa Clara water system. Either one. Still freaky!

As you continue along the pathway, you will find an overall view of the front of the house.

To the left, you will find our trio of ghoulish friends

To the right, you will find our spooktacular bench, occupied by a bony friend. He's sitting on a vintage crate. I know how you 'Friends of Ashley' just love the real deal.

An overall view of the front door scene

To the left of the door. See anyone familiar? Perhaps a hooty little owl? Ashley (hilariously) left one for me on my porch, because she knows how much I LOVE that owl. She had the audacity to ask if I already had one. I'm so sure.

The front door

My sinister black web, with gigantic spider. Look closely. He's ready to pounce on your head.

And my 'Ghostess with the Mostess' door sign. It's a winner among losers. Black wreaths are played out. They're the hay bales of the Halloween set. To Quote Milli Vanilli...Girl, you know it's true!

To the right of the door, you will see the other Halloween display. And, wait, what's that I see??

Could that be a PDR to rule over all PDR's? Why, yes, it is. A Handmade, Lifesize Mummy!! Go and eat your humble pie now. I hope it tastes as good as Ashley's stale (and also played out) candy on her porch.

Some night shots with my purple lights and killer PDR

I felt like Igor working in the lab. The mummy was so much fun, and he turned out better than I thought he would. I used heavy duty foam, carved out the basic body shape, secured it with wooden dowels, and then wrapped it with quilt batting and duct tape. 20 feet of cheesecloth, a head, and then gave it all a good spray paint to age it.

Now THAT is what a Halloween display is supposed to look like. I admire Ashley's piddly attempt. You know, the one where she had the same display as her Fall Harvest display, but added a bunch of candy corns and tried to pass it off as a new display? Don't be fooled, readers. You know who brought home the bacon on this round. The only really cute thing in her display is an adorable glittery black pumpkin. Someone with great taste must have gifted her that little gem.

I anxiously await your comments and votes. Get crackin!

To officially cast your vote, please visit Ashley's Blog HERE and leave a comment stating your favorite display. It doesn't have to be mine!

Put a Fork In It

2011-10-03T00:21:00.000-07:00

Eating food with your fingers is for babies. That's why little lady has decided to only eat her food with utensils.

No going back now!

Little Kitchen

2011-10-01T22:01:00.000-07:00

You know the old saying--you don't do something homemade to get it faster/cheaper/easier/better...you do it because you get exactly what you want. And that makes all 8 trips to various stores totally worth it. Presenting....B's little kitchen!

Here's the before

And the after

It's adorable, perfect, and I'm in love with it. B has already made me a hamburger. Sure, she stuck it in the mailbox next door, but you better bet it was prepared with love.

Anyone in for a kitchen-off? I kind of suspect that I would win. Unless Ashley went to PBK and just bought one. Then, everyone would talk nonstop about how great her kitchen is.

My Rebuttal--The Display-Off

2011-09-29T14:31:00.000-07:00

Whoa, whoa. Let's back this pony up for a minute. I'm referring to this post.

Crates have always been my thing. As you may recall from this post, I bought this vintage Kraft crate to go along with my 2 vintage Pepsi crates. I had already planned on incorporating them into my fall display.

The truth is I thought I could do a better job making crates than Ashley could just buying them. I spurned her on. I'm not naturally competitive. I just like having a measured account of my success. Hence, the display-off!

Here is my official entry ticket. Please use these updated pictures when casting your vote.

As you walk up the path

To the right

To the Left

Yeah, I don't have an hooty bird available to the gauche masses. But I don't think that people should be rewarded for their unoriginality. I think they should be rewarded for cute overall displays. When you have a set-up this cute, THAT is the piece de resistance.

Here's Ashley's display. Also very cute.

It's safe to say none of Ashley's blog readers would ever a cookie judge at my famous party. They cannot see past their own biased views. "I don't like scarecrows, so Ashley wins. I have hay fever, so hay bales disqualify you. I hate the taste of gourds. You lose." Lameski! You have to be able to put your personal preferences aside, and use your artistic vision. I trust that my enlightened readers will be able to do just that.

As Ashley said, the visitors to our homes are the real winners in all of this. And me, of course.

Beezie Turns One!

2011-09-27T22:44:00.000-07:00

Our little nutter turned one year old today. I can't believe it. I know everyone says that, but seriously folks. How did my adorable little peanut.....

.......turn into this loud, curly-locked little lass?

I planned a fun little shindig for our besties, and had a wonderful day. Just like last year, the end of September brought a heatwave. Unlike last year, I wasn't enjoying the air conditioning generously provided by Kaiser. The day before the party it was 92. That's hot for us Bay Area babies. I was running around cooking and baking in our little oven/house. Thankfully,the day of the party brought warm weather and a cool breeze. It was perfect for our little outdoor shindig. Here are the deets.

The Decorations

I got all of my goodies at The TomKat Studio. No, not this Tomkat. This Tomkat. I absolutely love her stuff, and will be using them down the line. My party featured her lollipop line.

The Food

I served up a hearty lunch and a sweet treats bar. For the lunch I did BBQ pulled pork sandwiches, smoky baked beans, coleslaw, and Ashley's famous 7 layer dip.

Bonnie made Beezie's cake. She always makes a bear cake for the first birthday. I got to choose the colors, and it turned out adorable!

I also did a batch of GF chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. So delish.

We also had an assortment of kid-friendly goodies available in all of my cute jars.

The People

Check this out--Inger totally adopted my famous arm pose. Nice work, Ingie!

The Cake

I purposely kept Blakely away from cake until her first birthday. I afforded her a few nibbles here and there, and would give her a little lick of frosting now and then...but saved the big stuff for her big day.

She was a big fan. She especially loves frosting. Ha! She may be Little Lady Lance, but she's all mine in the frosting department. I see Mommy-Daughter nights in our future where we eat frosting out of a can together while dancing to NKOTB. I love having a girl.

Somebody else liked the cake, too.

Huh?? Me? Nope, wasn't me!

Just kidding! It was. And it was absolutely finger-licking delish. No regrets.

Thanks to everyone who came out and celebrated with us! You made our day fun and special. We look forward to spending many more birthdays with you!

For her real birthday tonight, we hit Pizza Party with a few friends. Then we headed home to celebrate little lady.

We had the Andersens over to eat some cupcakes and help us open presents. Kai happily obliged in this department. As soon as B opened a bag, he shouted out what it was, and then ran off with it. It's good for B to have a little competition.

B got a book of real dogs from my dad and his wife that move, shake, and even pee. She is beyond delighted. She says "ruff-ruff" and pants when she reads it. It's her first animal sound! We are still working on cows and kittens.

She totally caught on that bag=something fun for her. Smart cookie.

Lancer got her a little piano/xylophone combination that she loves. She also got a set of bells and a shaker, which will be put to good use when she shakes her little booty. Which is all the time.

I also got her a set of the wooden fridge food from Melissa and Doug to go with her soon to be completed little wood kitchen. It's about 75% done now, and cuter than I had even imagined!

Your latest gems:

You now know 'yes' and 'no.' I ask you if you want more food, and you shake your head either way to let me know your preference. Once I told you to yes, and you shook your head no. I repeated yes, and you repeated no. And then you yanked my hair. It's safe to say you understand the meaning of both words.

You dance like a fiend anytime music is on, including the grocery store. I love it!

You are starting to show an interest in dolls and stuffed animals. You hug and squeeze them.

You are the most social kid I have ever met. You LOVE people, and assume everyone you meet is a friend to be had. I hope you stay this way throughout your life.

You are also starting to have some separation anxiety. You're like a famous song. Every step I take...every move I make...you want to be on my pant leg. I get a ton done these days. Not really.

You are so funny, and already have a little sense of humor. When I fake sleep on the floor, you crawl over and do the same thing. Then you try and surprise me.

You try and feed me food, and get mad when it's something I can't eat.

You love slides and climbing up, over, under, and on things. You have no fear.

You love rolling balls, and have great hand eye coordination. You catch them on occasion when we roll them to you.

You automatically clap when we say yay.

You try and put everything on your head. We have always placed silly things on our heads to see if you notice. You always did, and now crawl over asap to get the item off our heads. Then you try and place it on your own head.

You do a very funny hula dance where you put your hands behind your head and bounce on your knees up and down. I only wish I had taught you this. It's all you, baby!

You love your preschool, gym, and music class.

You love dogs! You stalk Logan all over the house, and squeal with delight when his tail whacks you. People expect you to be scared of dogs, but you never are.

You can blow kisses, and gladly ruff on command when I tell you to bark like a dog.

You are definitely developing your taste buds in different directions. Current favorite foods are: string cheese, cheddar cheese, little crackers with cheese, pouch food, toast with cream cheese, party meatballs, chicken nuggets, strawberries, freeze dried mango, veggie straws, and graham crackers.

Thanks for taking the baby chute down from heaven. You're our little delight! Happy Birthday! We love you so much!

In Case There Were Any Questions....

2011-09-21T23:54:00.000-07:00

She is totally my baby.

In that she loves to dance.

Not that she's topless.

I Steal Other People's Ideas

2011-09-18T22:48:00.000-07:00

I have a bit of buyer's remorse. I bought this set for Beezie off Craigslist a few months back for her first birthday.

I'm not wild about it because it's wide, short, cheesy, and has no personality. But I'm sure she will love it. She's all about going in and out of things, opening and closing doors, etc. She has also taken to the Gray's play kitchen in the last few weeks.

Tonight, I was looking on Craigslist for a play kitchen for Tinger (I swear!) and I saw this little well-loved gem.

I hate the country theme of course, but I LOVE the retro style. It has a ton of potential. I am going to add a little hanging basket to the backsplash for food items and pans.

I was spurned on by this CUTE play kitchen from this adorable blog.

She spraypainted an old kitchen, and added cute wrapping paper for the background. She would never allow a Fisher Price play kitchen into her home. They're boring and disposable, and a cute little kitchen like the one above is meant to LAST.

So--here is my dilemma. I have the Fisher Price kitchen, and I am picking up the $20 retro one on Tuesday. Do I get rid of the FP one, and stick with the classic kitchen? Keep both, and put the retro one in her room? Keep both in the living room? Put one outside? What to do, what to do.

While you're at it, please send color scheme ideas my way. Leaning toward citrus--green, orange, & yellow--though not 100% sold.

TMI

2011-09-13T23:42:00.000-07:00

What's with the rash of TMI commercials and ads?

It started with that creepy Charmin commercial featuring a family of bears that leave "pieces" behind on their butts. Um, okay.

Then it was that much creepier commercial featuring women talking about "what really goes on in the bathroom" and how their TP needs to "keep their hands clean while getting them clean." Ummmmm....

I think the following takes the cake, though.

I don't need an enema ad. And if I did, I wouldn't need one that featured a dirty, abandoned shopping cart on the edge of a cliff. Is my butt the cliff? Is it the shopping cart? What is that all about?

I'm wistful of the days when TP ads featured a squeeze-crazy woman going to town on a pack of TP, and a cranky old scientist/stockboy (nondescript lab coat-you tell me what he does for a living) telling me not to squeeze the Charmin. It's all very vague and cloudy--just the way I like it.

I seriously don't need any suggestions for my backcountry.

Public Enemy #1

2011-09-12T16:22:00.001-07:00

Stephanie is going down!

So--this annoying debacle. I decided I wasn't going to "let it win" and hunkered down to finish what I started. I reasoned that"Blakely will love it down the line" and that "she will see my great sacrifice and craftiness, and appreciate it!" I bought all new materials, and spent over 4 hours measuring, cutting, sewing, gluing, and generally working my little fingers to the bone on Halloween Advent Calendar Take 2.

I was just out in the party shed just now working on B's birthday gifts, and what did I see....

THE BAG WITH ALL OF MY MISSING HALLOWEEN CALENDAR POCKETS!!!!

Kill. Me. Now.

Now I have to decide if I should go with the original pockets, stick with the new ones, or combine the two versions. The older pockets are 100% handmade--I cut out the felt and created ghosts, witches, cauldrons, etc. The newer one employs cute buttons. Anyone (but Stephanie) care to weigh in?

Either way, I blame Stephanie for this. This is clearly all her fault. The worst part is that she confessed last Friday that she was under the influence of hormones and fear of swine flu when she started her calendar, and she used it to avoid leaving the house.